


Guns and Roses: Part I

by RanebowStitches



Series: Guns and Roses [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Animal Abuse, Asexual Character, Blood and Gore, Child Death, Eating Disorders, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Medical Examination, Negan is the good guy, Rick is the bad guy, Slow Burn, Torture, not for weak stomachs, villain!Rick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-08-14 13:19:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 20
Words: 60,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16493342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RanebowStitches/pseuds/RanebowStitches
Summary: Negan is the rich, powerful, and influential boss of a large company, and Carl has been sent to kill him. However, Carl and his sister are trapped in their sadistic and abusive father’s clutches, and Negan wants to save them. As Carl and Negan weather the storm of family conflict, they help each other heal, and maybe even find love.Read the tags before going in. There's a lot happening here.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This fic is a RP written by myself and [matthew-the-neko-boy](https://matthew-the-neko-boy.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. I'm not sure how many parts yet it will be, but we have it mostly finished and I'm just slowly editing it together into good chapters, so we'll see in the end, huh? There are some dark themes and some grossness and some horrible acts done in the whole of this story, but if you stick with it, there is light at the end.
> 
> I play Negan and most of the people working for him, Matthew plays Carl, the other Grimes', and a few others as time goes on.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Negan was in his office when he heard loud gun shots fire off in the hallway. He quickly grabbed his pistol, running out into the hallway to see a teen holding a gun. Five of Negan’s men were dead on the ground. The teen was small, much smaller than average, thin, long brown locks tied in a messy bun. His eye covered with a bandage wrapped around his head. 

“Negan...” The teen pointed the gun, glaring.

Negan raised his gun, matching the teen’s stance. He looked over the bodies of his men on the floor. Blood was pooling under them as they took their last breaths. Negan growled deep in his throat. It was one thing to try and kill  _ him,  _ he was used to that, but to take out  _ five _ of his men on the way? Oh, he was pissed now.

Negan locked eyes with the boy’s one and held his gaze for a moment before dropping his weapon, arm holding the gun loose at his side. He knew he was exposing himself, but there was something about this kid that really interested him and he was willing to test the waters. He leaned back as he let out a long whistle and grinned, white teeth gleaming. 

“Shit, kid. All of this just to get to little ol’ me?” He gestured to the bodies on the ground.

The kid growled at the man, staring him down. His lips were split and he was shaking, not out of fear, but like it hurt him to keep standing up.

“You gotta die. Sorry.” He pulled the trigger but Simon grabbed him as the shot went off. The jerky movement of being pulled down made the bullet missed Negan’s head by a fraction of an inch thanks to Simon. 

“Fuck!” Negan flinched as the bullet flew past his head. So much for testing the waters. Negan thanked his lucky stars that Simon was still breathing enough to save his life. If he got out of this alive, he’d make damn sure Simon did too.

“No! No! Let me go!” The kid screamed bloody murder, shooting the rest of the bullets, sadly two went in the wall, three in the floor thanks to Simon trying to force the gun out of the boys hands.

Once Negan realized the kid was out of bullets, he raised his own gun back up and moved towards the boy swiftly. He landed a quick kick to the teen’s left knee. He had seen the way the teen was barely standing, so dropping the kid to a kneeling position wasn’t hard. He would have had to put up quite a fight to get to Negan’s office floor in one piece. Carl let out a pained grunt as he fell hard on his boney, uncushioned knees. He was exhausted. If he was here for any other reason he would have flat out told the man to do it. 

“You’re a little badass, you know that?” Negan quipped, grabbing the kid by the throat with one hand and holding his gun to the kid’s head with the other. He let out a yelp like an abused dog when Negan’s hand gripped his neck, holding him. His own hands shot up and grabbed Negan’s muscular broad wrist, trying to pull him off. Negan angled his face up so he could look him in the eye. Negan was honestly impressed by the kid and really didn’t want to kill him. He tilted his head back and forth and studied his face for a moment. “Shit, you’re Rick’s kid, ain’t ya?”

Carl’s heart froze a little when Negan figured out who he was, but he quickly tried covering it up. “Rick? Who the fuck is Rick?” he choked, still desperately clawing at the man's arm to let him go.

Negan threw his head back and barked out a deep laugh. He watched the younger struggle against his grip uselessly. “Come on, kid. There’s no mistaking it. You’ve got the same damn stink eye your father always gave me.” He tilted the boys head again examining the bandage that was wrapped around one half of his face. “Course, you’ve only got one though. Still, it’s unmistakable.” 

He moved his gun from the side of the kid’s head to his forehead and cocked it. He held it there for a beat before sighing and instead placed the cool barrel along the teen’s cheek. “You know, I really don’t want to add another hole to your pretty little head. You intrigue me, kid. You wanna give me a reason not to kill ya, or should I just squeeze a little harder?” He gave a test squeeze to the teen’s throat but backed off enough to allow him to speak. 

Carl honestly felt sick as the man squeezed a bit tighter, not because he was afraid but because he felt something inside him that liked being looked at like some sort of prey by the older man. The hand on his throat, control and restricting him, it turned him on just a little. Of course, he couldn’t take pleasure in that because the situation was so dire. He tried his best to think if a reason why this man shouldn’t shoot him, but from Negan’s perspective he couldn’t think of a damn one.

“It’s not me that wants you dead, but I have too, okay?” He choked a little bit, his skin turned slightly paler, his soft plump lips slowly growing darker in shade, like a light maroon mixed with lavender. He looked up at him with his one eye. “I’m just doing what I have too.”

Negan sighed. He knew the exact position the kid was in, having been in the same one himself a few times. He knew there was probably some kind of reward awaiting the teen if he brought back Negan’s head, and some harsh punishment if he didn’t.

“Just following orders, huh kid?” Negan let the grip on his throat loosen just a hair. Kid looked like he was about to faint and Negan wasn’t done with him yet... Or maybe he should knock him out. He’d be able to lock him up and talk to him easier. Negan licked his lips as he debated it in his head.

His eyes flicked to Simon who was barely holding onto life on the ground, his breathing wet and ragged. What Negan  _ needed _ to do was get back to his office and make some phone calls to clean this mess up. He focused back on the boy in his grip.

“Alright, look, I’m not unreasonable. I understand where you’re coming from, I do, but you killed a handful of my men and I am not gonna let that fly.” He shook the boy slightly, growling, before taking a deep breath and calming back down. “What say you and I go have a little chat? Maybe make some kind of a deal?” 

He tilted his head back towards his office door. He was asking a question but his tone indicated that this wasn’t up for a debate. He was giving the kid a chance to walk there himself. The hand still on his throat a reminder that if he didn’t go willingly, there were other ways. 

Carl could only half listen, he heard what was almost like loud wind in his ear. That of course being the sound of his blood desperately trying to pump oxygen to his brain. He did his best to respond appropriately and not just claw at the mans arms like some sort of animal. 

“I can’t,” he choked out as the grip lessened slightly he heaved, his chest filling with much needed oxygen. “I have three days,” he said, looking at the mans leather jacket, finding it hard to make eye contact with his blurry vision. He also didn’t want to humanize this man in anyway. It’d make it much hard to kill him face to face.

He got up off the ground, legs still shaking, about to walk to the office with Negan’s consent to move.

Negan narrowed his eyes at the other but let his hand fall as the kid stood on shaky legs. He kept his gun tight in his hand and gestured with the other towards his office.

“You can go in first,” he ordered the other before moving around behind him to follow. He shot a look to Simon, who gazed back up at him with half lidded eyes, and silently promised to get help. He pushed on the kid’s back with the barrel of his gun. “Come on, now.”

The boy sighed and walked into the nicely furnished office. It had nice leather chairs a big dark polished oak desk and a large comfortable leather chair behind it. He looked around for a moment. 

He was doing his best to stay calm and ignore the feeling of the gun in his back. Now was not the time to freak out. 

The place looked crazy nice, like he did not belong. He was roughed up, newer bruises were forming from the fights he got in with those men, along side of brown and yellow bruises from day and weeks ago. His clothes were dirty and bloodied, like he had been wearing them for a while.

“Take a seat,” Negan said once they were both in the room. He shut the door behind him and moved to stand behind his desk. He pointed to the chairs in front of the desk. “Anywhere is fine.”

Carl nodded softly sitting down in the chair groaning softly as he felt the soft leather on his skin. “Thanks.” He murmured, listening to the man.

Negan holstered his gun on his hip and picked up the phone on his desk. “I’ve just got to make a quick call and then I’ll be with you,” he said nonchalantly, as if the teen was just another one of his clients and not in fact the son of his rival who just almost killed him. He punched in a phone number and waiting for an answer. His dark eyes watched the teen intently the entire time until he was met with a response.

Carl felt strange. The man was treating him with what seemed like respect like they both weren’t going to kill each other just moments earlier. He watched the man holster his gun and punch in the number in the phone. 

“Yeah, it’s me,” he said into the phone. “Send the medic and cleaners. Office floor. Now.” Carl ponders who the medic was for since he was nearly certain the man who tackled him was dead by now. Some quick words came from the other end of the phone and then Negan hung up. He sat down in his chair behind the desk and clasped his hands on top of it. He gave the boy a once over glance and felt the need to offer him a shower. Perhaps that would come later. 

“Alright, kid. First things first. What’s your name and, while I know this answer and you know I know this answer, who sent you and why?” 

Carl looked down avoiding eye contact playing with his thumbs. “Carl...my names Carl,” he muttered picking at cuts on his hands, making them worse as they began to bleed. “If you know the answer to all these questions why are you even asking me?” he huffed, seeming irritated with the man. “Since it seems like you know everything you’ll know he is a sick man, and I have to do this,” he said, trying to keep his lip from quivering. He hated that he wanted to cry. It made him feel weak.

Negan frowned as he watched Carl. The boy looked so small and fragile all of the sudden. A lot different than that badass in the hallway pointing a gun at him. He’d be a liar if he didn’t admit that his heart bled for the sight in front of him. God, if this kid started crying he was gonna crack.

He sighed. “It’s a thing, kid. I hate miscommunication. I want to know that we’re both on the same page.” He noticed the bruises and the cuts, the fresh and the old ones, that littered the boy and it only increased his frown. What had this boy been through? “Now, if I know Rick, that bastard’s got something hanging over you, doesn’t he? What’s your reward for killing me kid? Power? You’re already his son,” he scoffed. “I want to know why he didn’t come here himself. Why did he send  _ you _ ?”

Carl’s tears finally stopped forming and his nose and cheeks flared up with a fresh pink color, his hands turning into fists. “He’s gonna hurt someone.” He thought about Judith. She just turned four, nine days ago. She didn’t deserve to be in any of this. “If I don’t do everything he says by Friday.” Friday was now only three days away. “Or he’ll kill her.” His nose and cheek twitched up a little and made him look a bit crazy like he was going to snap or something.

“I don’t need power,” he said. “I don’t want anything but my family...” he said licking his lips. “And stop with the miscommunication. I tried to kill you. End of story.” His hands were now in fists thinking about his Dad, rage pumping his heart faster.

Negan leaned forward on his desk. There was that fighting spirit he liked to see! He cocked his head and gave Carl a gleaming grin. “Yeah, you tried, you missed, and now we’re here.” Negan stood suddenly, sliding his chair out from behind him and placing his palms down on his desk leaning ever the more forward over it. “Kid, I wanna make a deal with you.” He straightened up and clapped his hands together, tapping his steepled fingers to his chin and started pacing slowly behind his desk. “You’ve got three days to ‘kill me’,” he air quoted. “But what if instead,  _ I  _ help you? Either kill Rick, or save whoever he’s gonna kill.” He stopped pacing, turning sharply on his heel to face Carl. “All I ask for in return is that you join my crew.” He licked his lip and flashed a smile at the other. “What do you say, Carl?”

“He sent me because I'm ready to die. I’m not afraid of it and it would be welcomed.” It was the first calm thing Carl had said all day. He looked up at Negan shaking his head. “No, you’re a liar. Dad said you’d try and do something like this. You’re smart and manipulative,” he said and held his head. “You’ll kill her and me and Rick and then no one will be here but you,” he said, looking like he was having a little break down. He was looking more his age now, young, younger then threatening Carl, maybe seventeen? He hiccuped as his nose twitched. Damn, did he have a lot of tells. He looked up at him. “Why would you even try to help me? I know it’s a trap?”

Negan was taken back slightly at Carl’s words and sudden change in demeanor. He looked at the boy and realized that’s really what he was… a boy. A frightened child in an adult world. He should be out living his life, not fighting for others. Negan felt his heart break at the hiccup that came from the boy. God, he was soft for tears.

“Kid… Carl…” he made his way around his desk and stepped slowly up to the other. He moved smooth and slow, trying not to frighten the other. When he was about a foot away, Negan crouched in front of Carl so that he was eye level, or perhaps even lower, with him. He sighed. 

“I’m not lying to ya, Carl. I know you don’t believe me, but I’m asking you to trust me. I’m a lot of things, but a liar isn’t one of them,” he cocked his head and gave a small smile. “I wanna help ya kid because you remind me of  _ me  _ when I was your age. I know what it’s like being in your position all too well.” He shook his head, memories of jobs he wasn’t prepared for, images of bodies on floors put there by his young hands, his own bruised and scarred body, all came flashing into his head. He had gotten out of it pretty quickly too. Got himself a normal life for a while. And yet, here he was again. He looked up at Carl, locking his eyes with Carl’s one blue one. “I like you, Carl. I want to help.”

He didn’t know what to think, it was like someone flipped a switch on Negan. The man had suddenly seemed almost empathic and caring toward him which he flat out was just not expecting. Maybe this is all an act to lower and guard so Negan could catch him by surprise and just slit his throat or something. Carl let go of his face trying to keep himself together. He needed to man up, he was acting like a child for god sakes. 

“He-He-...” he started but he stopped due to his voice shaking to much. He cleared his throat and wet his lips. “He has my baby sister...” he said before looking down. “He’s gonna do something if you’re not dead by Friday morning,” he said before meeting his eyes when the man crouched down. It seemed stupid since he now appeared vulnerable, Carl could bash his head with his fists when he was down at this angle. 

“Please just jump out the window to save me to trouble of killing you,” he said trying to harden his face once again into something cold.

Negan actually grinned at that, glad that the teen still had some spunk in him. “You know, I’d consider it, kid, but,” his face fell into something more serious, “Are you telling me that your father is threatening a  _ child _ ? That heartless bastard...” Negan knew Rick to be ruthless and cruel, but to threaten the life of not just one but BOTH of his own children? Negan growled and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

He stood, scowl on his face, arms crossed over his chest. Looking down at Carl, he told him, “Look, your dad is a Grade A prick, and as I see it you’ve got two options.” He held up one finger. “Accept my help, take my deal, kill your father, rescue your sister, work for me.” He held up two fingers. “Don’t take my deal, I personally deliver you back to your dad, and you get to deal with him yourself.” Negan took a step back so he was leaning against his desk, leveling his stare right at Carl. “I’m not gonna kill you, kid. No, if I wanted you dead you’d already be dead. I’m giving you a choice and it’s your decision. I’d like to give ya a few days to think it over, but  _ you _ don’t  _ got _ a few days, do you?” 

Carl chewed on his lip nervously. “He doesn’t care about kids, they’re still people, just smaller. He doesn’t like her anyway, since she’s not his....well that's what he says but I don’t believe him...” He murmured a bit.

“If we did go there to rescue Judy, what would we do? How do we rescue her? How do we get in?” he asked. He couldn't think about killing his father. Even though he was sick and had hurt a lot of people, Carl couldn’t hurt his dad for some reason. He knew Rick would just kill both him and Judy if Negan brought him back so the only option was to try and kidnap Judith.

Negan smirked. It seemed like the kid was finally coming around. “Well, you’ve got the inside knowledge. You know where she is, you know entrances and security points. I can have my men together by tomorrow and we can start up a plan with your help.” He pointed to Carl. “You’ve got the intel,” he pointed to himself, “I’ve got the man power.”

Suddenly, there was a quick knock on the door and a woman opened it. She looked from Negan to Carl and back to Negan, tense at the sight of the boy. Negan just nodded at her and she relaxed. “Sir, everything is cleared.”

“Survivors?”

“Two. Both critical condition.”

Negan nodded. “Keep me updated.” The woman nodded and left, shutting the door behind her. Negan looked back at Carl like they hadn’t just been interrupted. 

“So, I assume you’re accepting my deal?” He held his hand out, an invitation for a handshake. 

Carl nodded a bit at the mans words before reaching out his own hand to shake. His hands were boney and cold. His wrists were marked up pretty bad. “Okay, you have a deal.” He said softly his head spinning. He couldn’t believe he was doing this. “But I need some security first. That Judith will be fine once she comes here, no one trying to take her in the middle of the night and shit,” he mumbled. “And I want to know what you want from me? I have a bit to offer,” he said with a shrug. He wondered who the survivors were. Simon and who else?

Negan grinned. He was glad the boy had seen reason and decided to trust him. Negan just hoped he could trust the boy back. He’d be keeping a close eye on him for the next few days, and he’d be getting him some food. Poor kid looked ready to collapse.

Negan placed his hand over his heart. “I promise no harm will come to Judith or to  _ you _ . I’m not a monster, kid. I’ve got morals.”  _ Unlike some people _ , he thought bitterly.

“As for you, I need your knowledge of Rick’s place, and your combat skills. After all this, I will find a good position for you within my ranks.” Negan knew Carl would be a good person to have around for a myriad of reasons. He obviously had the skills to fight up multiple floors of his goons, a quick wit, and, if Negan was being honest with himself, he wasn’t too bad on the eyes either.

“Now, I can’t let the fact that you slaughtered a handful of my men go unpunished, but we can work that out later…” Negan said off nonchalantly, waving his hand dismissively. “For now, I want you to get some rest. You’re no good to me half-dead.” Negan pushed off his desk and moved towards the door. “Come with me. You can stay in a guest room.” He opened the door and gestured for Carl to leave first. He was going to need to get food and a medic sent to him asap, Negan knew that. From the look of him, the quicker Negan could get the kid into a room, the better.

Carl sighed not knowing if he could trust Negan or not. He had never met someone who actually said that to him. That they would never hurt him or Judith. He honestly didn’t believe him. He got up and began walking with him. He walked over the now blood stained floor, cringing at the sight.

Once they got to the guest bedroom Carl looked around. He was expecting more of a prison cell but the room was ten times more luxurious than he was used too. Nice heavy drapes covered the windows that were locked and didn’t open. The bed was good full-size bed with a more modern style bed frame that was a big contrast against the Victorian window. He stepped foot in the room, looking at Negan. “What’s going to be the punishment?” Carl finally spoke up.

Negan moved past Carl, making his way into the room and to a phone that was on one of the two dressers that lined the room. Picking up the phone, he hit one button, waited but a second for a response and said, “Yeah, room 2B. Two dinners and a medic. Thanks.” He hung up and turned back to Carl.

“Over there is the bathroom,” he pointed to a door on the far wall. “There’s a fully stocked shower in there, please feel free to use it. There are clothes in the dressers.” He motioned to those. “All sizes, so I’m sure something will fit.” Negan tapped his chin and looked around like was trying to make sure he remembered everything. He shrugged slightly when he couldn’t think of anything.

Walking back to Carl, Negan softly chucked the teen under chin with his knuckle. “As for your punishment, why don’t  _ you _ think of something?” He smirked down at the teen. “Give me your answer in a couple of days, yeah?” Negan couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped his lips. He couldn’t wait to see what Carl would come up with, but right now there were other matters at hand.

Carl nodded and looking over at the bathroom door as the man spoke. He looked to the dresser nodding. He would need clothes after he showered. Maybe he wouldn’t feel as gross afterword. But that all stopped when Negan touched him.

He flinched, just to let out an embarrassing whining purr when Negan touched the soft skin under his chin, causing him to look up and meet the man's eyes. What he said next was flirty? Right? Carl's cheeks and nose now pinkish in color contrasting his pale skin. “O-Okay Sir.” This time he stuttered out of sheer awkwardness. He wasn’t anywhere as smooth as the man.

A soft knock sounded on the door and Negan opened it. A man in an apron wheeled in a metal cart with two serving platters on it, each filled with food: One had steak with mashed potatoes and green beans, the other a juicy chicken breast with roasted vegetables and a bowl of strawberries. A pitcher of water sat in between the two. A first aid kit sat on the lower shelf of the cart.

Negan’s eyebrows pinched together in confusion as he looked at the server. “Where’s the medic?” The man mumbled something and pointed outside, quickly exiting the room. Negan sighed and looked back to Carl. “I’ll be right back. Eat whatever you want. They’re both for you.” And with that Negan left, closing the door behind him.

Once the food arrived Carl started to salivate. It smelt so good and he was so so hungry. He had to keep himself from running over and eating the whole thing. 

Once Negan left the room to get a medic, Carl started to look around for anything to use as a weapon. He wouldn’t hurt Negan right now, but he needed to keep himself safe. He searched everywhere before settling on a pair of scissors in the desk drawer. 

Next he went in the dresser, pulling out medium sized pants and a shirt. He wouldn’t admit he was a small before taking the desk chair and the scissors into the bathroom with him. He used the desk chair to make sure no one could get in, jamming it under the door knob before turning on the shower, hoping for it to warm up fast. He then stripped and got in. He washed blood and filth from his body, scrubbing his hair with shampoo.

-

Negan rubbed his temples in frustration as the server walked away from him down the hall. The sound of the carpet cleaners shampooing the carpet filled the corridor. The smell of harsh soap assaulted his nose. He watched the cleaners work as he leaned back against the door to the guest room. God, this was not how he expected this night to go at all. He was supposed to write a few checks, balance his books, and then relax with a beer and a movie. Now… well, now he had good men dead and he was feeding their killer. He took in a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, and when he was sure he wasn’t about to turn and punch the wall, he let it out. “This is fine. This is fine.” Adjusting his lapels on his jacket, he turned and reentered the room.

“Alright, the medic is tied up keeping Simon and Arat alive, so-,” Negan stopped halfway into the room when he realized Carl wasn’t there. The food wasn’t touched, but he could hear the shower running. Negan hummed and covered the dishes with the provided lids to keep the heat of the food in. 

He looked around the room and sighed again. Well, might as well make some calls to his other men, and perhaps some friends, while he waited. He sat on the edge of the bed and started going through the contacts on his cell phone. They were gonna need all the help they could get in the next few days. 

-

Carl let the warm water wash over him. He felt like he was in a movie since the blood that ran off of him into the drain was bright red. He scrubbed all over his body, deeply breathing in the sweet orange citrus scent of the shampoo he was using.

After awhile, he got out and started toweling off his hair when he caught a glimpse of what he looked like in the bathroom mirror. He frowned and turned side to side as he inspected himself. He looked like garbage. His ribs were slightly visible under his pale skin. Most of his skin littered in dirty brown, yellow and purple splotches of discolored and healing spots where capillaries burst under the skin. He sighed and started drying off the rest of him. He drank some water from the sink before getting dressed. He put the scissors inside his sleeve just incase before pulling the chair away and opening the door to face the man.

“Yes,  _ that _ Rick. Yes,  _ that _ Alexandria,” Negan growled into his phone. He was hunched over on the edge of the bed, one hand pulling at his hair. God, these people were so hard to work with sometimes. He listened to the mumbled reply on the other end and frowned. “So, are you in or out?” Negan asked, tone clipped and loud. Another beat passed, an excuse coming through the phone. Carl felt his stomach turn as he listened to Negan talk about his father. He slowly made his way closer to the bed and cart. 

Negan’s feet hit the floor with a bang as he stood from the bed and hissed out, “Give me your answer by noon tomorrow.” And with that he hung up, the urge to throw his phone across the room killed by the sound of the door creaking behind him. He turned and saw Carl standing there, fresh and clean. The smell of the citrus soap they stocked in all the guest rooms floated out. The boy looked much better now that he was clean, but god he was still so skinny. He gave a small smile.

“All clean, then?” he asked, cocking his head to the side. “You should eat now, before it gets cold.” He gestured towards the cart of food. His eye caught the first aid kit and he remembered why he had come back in in the first place.

“I would like you to eat half of each of the meals.” He looked at the cart of mouth watering food. He was so so hungry but he would never be hungry enough to risk his life. “I just wanna be safe...” he said softly, his voice more hushed now. Negan chuckled at the request but nodded and agreed to it. He understood the kid’s paranoia but really, Carl was no use to him dead.

“Oh, so, by the way,” he started, looking back at Carl. “The medic is busy keeping some of my people alive, so either I can leave you with the first aid kit to patch yourself up, or I can patch you up. Your choice.” He shrugged.

“That’s fine. I don’t need to be “patched up”. I’m a person not a broken stuffed bear.” He sat in the chair that he took from the desk. He looked over at Negan, cutting the food up randomly and putting half on a plate for Negan, waiting him to come and eat the food. 

“Alright, alright. I didn’t know the extent of your injuries, and I’m just trying to be nice here. Sheesh.” He made his way to the cart, holding his hands up in a ‘I surrender’ position. 

“I’m a tough kid I can handle a lot.” He tried laughing it off even though his body did ache. 

Negan took the plate Carl offered him. He didn’t realize how hungry he actually was until he had the first bite of chicken in his mouth. His dinner plans _ had  _ been interrupted after all. He quickly ate one piece of every type of food, making sure Carl was watching and believing he was eating it. “There, see. It’s fine. Now, please, eat.” He took the rest of the food on his plate and sat back on the bed, only a couple feet away from Carl. 

Carl watched to make sure he chewed and swallowed everything he put in his mouth before he himself smiled a bit grabbing a plate and eating. He ate faster than normal, but it had been over 48 hours since he had food so he was desperate for it. “Do...Do we have to kill my Dad?” Carl finally asked.

Negan chewed on a strawberry as he hummed and mulled over Carl’s question. “Well, I for one would _ love _ to have Rick out of the picture…” He caught Carl’s one eye in his. “But, tell me what you want. I’m curious.”

“What I want?” He was excited Negan asked. “Well, I guess...” He had to think about it. “Fantasy world is I live with Judith in a house outta town with ducks. Judith loves ducks.” He smiled thinking about her. “Realistic is I want to live until Judith is at least eighteen and where she is safe and maybe even happy.” He picked at the food on his plate, unable to eat while thinking about all this. “And for my Dad? Fantasy is he gets help and he realizes what he did was wrong and he makes amends...” He frowned. “Realistic, he just isn't dead I guess.”

This kid was going to single handedly melt every bit of ice in Negan’s heart. He really loved his sister and even his dad on some level, despite everything he’d been through. Negan looked at Carl with shining eyes and a small smile. He walked back over and placed his empty plate on the cart.

“Shit, kid,” he chuckled and leaned back on his heels. “I can’t promise ducks, but I can promise you and your sister protection, and I can promise not to kill your dad.” Unless it was absolutely, his own life on the line, necessary of course, but he didn’t tell Carl that. He knew the boy would understand if it did come to that.

He studied the boy for a moment, wondering what it looked like under the wrap over his eye, before clicking his tongue and rocking on his heels. “Well, this has been riveting, but I think I’ll leave you be now. Please, finish eating. If you want more of anything dial “01” on the phone. If you need to reach  _ me _ , dial “11”,” Negan said, pointing to the phone in the stand. He didn’t want to leave Carl, but he figured the kid had had enough of him and Negan had some mess to sort out. He turned half way towards the door. “Is there anything else you need from me? Any other questions?”

He looked at Negan’s empty plate and happily starting to pile his food in too. He was very grateful for food and it was delicious, and not just because he was starving to death. “No, but thank you… It all means a lot,” he muttered a bit. “She means a lot. I can be a good worker for you,” he said watching him get up and leave.   
Once he was gone he sighed frowning softly, laying back on the bed. He didn't expect this. He truly thought he was going to be dead by the end of the night, bleeding out on some cold floor, maybe strapped to a chair being tortured or even in a dirty dumpster bleeding out and getting tired. But no. He was here staring at the ceiling, clean, food in his stomach and the feeling he would survive.

He wasn’t living. He didn’t do that anymore.

He just was.

-

Negan visited the medical suite first thing after he left Carl. Simon and Arat were stable, but still touch and go with their injuries. He got updates on how many other men and women had died and how exactly Carl had gotten past security in the first place. Apparently, he snuck in on a delivery truck and wormed his way through the vents.

Watching the security tapes, he was both furious and impressed. The boy had skill, but he shouldn’t have been able to make it to the top floor so easily. Negan could feel his blood boiling. All he wanted to do was land a few punches into someone’s face. He sighed. He’d have to visit the gym in the morning and go a few rounds with the punching bag so he didn’t accidentally take it out on Carl. He needed the kid to trust him.

He sent someone up to stand outside Carl’s room all night before heading to his own personal quarters. He stripped out of his jacket and pants, falling into bed wearing his T-shirt and boxers. He had a killer headache, and all he wanted to do was sleep it off. He’d deal with everything come morning. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan and Carl have a little chat to get to know each other better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a RP written by myself and [matthew-the-neko-boy](https://matthew-the-neko-boy.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. I'm Negan and most of his men, Matt is Carl and the other Grimes', and then we share a handful of OCs.
> 
> Thank you to those who have commented and sent kudos already! I'm glad you are interested in this story because it's been something we've been working on for a long while, so it's nice to post it and get reactions! Hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks for reading!

Carl slept for the first time in a long time which was weird. He slept a lot better in the house of the person he tried to murder rather then his own. He held the scissors in his hand to feel even more safe.  
He was woken by the ribbons of light streaming in the window from the morning sun. He whimpered a bit, forcing himself to sit up, rubbing his head. Everything in him was sore, especially his neck which now had Negan’s hand imprinted on it in a lightish maroon color.

He looked around and sighed when he didn’t hear Judy cry for him. He felt lonely and sad. He swung his feet around the bed and went to the door to the hallway, wanting to go out. He was surprised when he could open it and it wasn’t locked.

..

Negan growled as he swung his fist hard. The feel of the bag connecting against his knuckles vibrated through his arm and he pulled back landing another smooth hit. He alternated fists and between quick jabs and slow punches.

_ One, two, one, two. _

He was just pulling back when the door to the gym opened and one of his men informed him that Carl was awake. Negan panted slightly but nodded. “Feed him breakfast and then bring him to me here.”

..

Dwight flinched slightly as the door behind him creaked open. He turned and looked at the boy who had killed some of his closest friends. He was told to be cordial to him, but he didn’t realize how hard it’d be. Though, the look of the pale bruised boy certainly did touch his heart. 

Swallowing his anger, he gave him a slight smile and listened to the instructions coming over his ear piece from Negan. “Hello. Sleep well, I hope? Would you like breakfast? I can have it delivered here or you can follow me to the dining room.”

“Oh?” Carl said, taken aback for a moment. He felt like an idiot, or course Negan would have someone watching him, he fucking killed at least two of Negan’s people to his knowledge. “Um,“ he continued to stammer awkwardly, in a sleepy haze and put on the spot. “I was actually thinking I could talk to Negan?” he said, biting his lip looking up at the man. He really never realized how short he was compared to most adults. “I want to talk to him, like now,” he said rubbing his forearm nervously. “That is if he isn’t all that busy. I don’t want to interrupt him.”

Dwight nodded and gestured for Carl to follow him. “He did want you to eat first, but I’ll take you to him,” he explained, texting what was happening to someone downstairs.

He led Carl down the hallway, now clean and smelling like lavender soap. He led him into the elevator and pressed a button for one of the lower floors. Smooth jazz floated through the air. 

As soon as Carl smelled the lavender soap you almost gagged, not because it smelled bad or anything but because it made him sick to think about what had happened the night before. He held the scissors in his sleeve not trusting Dwight all the way. The man seemed a bit too eager to help him.

When the doors opened, Dwight led Carl down a short hallway, stopping before a set of doors. “He’s just in here.” Opening the doors, he gestured for Carl to go in.

Negan was on the far side of the room, still attacking the punching bag. A light sheen of sweat covered his forehead and arms and bare chest. He glanced over as the door opened, but made no motion to stop his punches.  
Once he saw Negan, all hot and punching the bag Carl felt something he didn’t like. His stomach flipped and he felt hot behind his ears, his crotch twitching just a little. He never thought he found older men attractive, but as soon as he laid eyes on Negan’s body, something just clicked in him.   
After a moment or two he cleared his throat, “Hey, uh, Negan,” he said awkwardly. “I was thinking we could talk?” He went inside the room but made no move to get closer.

Negan could feel Carl’s eye on him as he worked out. He let a small smirk twitch at his lips. He couldn’t lie to himself, he was half meeting Carl here just to see what his reaction would be. 

And so far it was perfect. 

He grunted as he landed one more hit before grabbing the bag to stop it from swinging. Panting slightly, he turned towards Carl. “Sure, kid.” He grabbed his towel and water bottle that lay on the floor near him and wiped off his face, smoothing his dark hair back, before hanging the towel around his neck.

He moved closer towards Carl. “Did you eat breakfast?” he asked while taking a swig from his water bottle. 

Carl instinctually backed up as soon as Negan came closer. His body and brain had a lot of mixed signals. Some were gawking at the sexy muscular man meat in front of him and some others were blinking red lights screaming ‘Danger! Run away!’. He tried shaking his head a bit to clear it before licking his lips, looking back up to meet the man’s eyes.   
“No, I haven’t. I thought it was a good idea to talk first. We have no idea who each other is, so I thought it’s a good time to buffer that out before we get down to business. I don’t want my baby sister with my dad for any longer then she has to be,” he said, the last part a lot more firmly then the first.

Negan hummed and wiped at his head with his towel again. “Alright, get to know each other. That sounds good,” he said, nodding. His workout had definitely helped his mood. He was feeling much looser. He stretched his arms over his head, feeling his shoulders release and sighed. 

Much looser. 

“We can talk in the den. Just let me get dressed, hm?” Negan whistled and the door to the gym opened to reveal a patiently waiting Dwight. “Dwight will take you there and I’ll meet you in a few minutes. How’s that sound?”

Carl tried not to stare at the man's shoulders. He just nodded and did as told, going out to the hallway once agaIn with Dwight.

Once they were a bit away from the gym he asked Dwight something. “Why do you act like his dog? Why does everyone like to suck people like Negan’s dick all the time?” He was speaking in the metaphorical sense not literal one, which he subconsciously knew he wouldn’t mind. He was talking about just following orders like some type of dog following orders from its master. “I’m not one to judge. I’m just wondering,” he said, sighing as they walked. He felt a little chill, looking back out of paranoia. He never really knew how skittish he was until he was in the lion's den, alone, with no mission and no weapons.

Dwight looked at the boy, slightly shook that he was actually talking to him. “I don’t act like a dog,” he frowned. “Negan is my boss, my employer. As he is for everyone else who works for him. He’s fair and honest and signs my paychecks.” He shrugged. Negan wasn’t a bad boss to work for. Yeah, sometimes he could be a bit of a hardass, but what boss wasn’t? Dwight had chosen this profession, and it paid well, so he had nothing to complain about. “I just do what’s asked of me.”

He led Carl down a few different hallways before stopping at a pair of large wooden doors. He pushed one of them open and waved the boy in. “Sit anywhere. Negan will be here soon.” He closed the door after Carl had walked in. 

The den was large and cozy feeling. A fireplace was against one wall with two large black armchairs in front of it. A long black couch was placed near the other side of the room with a coffee table in front of it. A large window was on the third wall, letting in the bright late morning light. Bookshelves bracketed the double doors. 

Carl walked around before deciding to sit back in the leather couch. It was soft, and he almost sank right into it. After a few minutes, when Negan didn’t show up, he decided he would want to look around even more.

He was drawn to the windows as soon as he saw them, slowly creeping over checking the locks on each one to see if they were locked or not. They were but they weren’t bolted up so he flipped the lock out of it socket, and pushed open the large Victorian style window. He looked down at the alley street bellow him. The only thing he could think was about what kind of impact it would be if he fell or jumped from this type of height. 

He shook his head and turned away, wanting to go back to the couch, but he heard something, like a little meow. He went back over, sticking most of his torso out the window. he was in the room alone so he wasn’t afraid about getting pushed, and then again he wasn’t afraid to die, which was clear by his actions from yesterday of going on a suicide mission to kill the man he was now working with. He leaned out a bit more, gripping the window to try and see where the crying was at.

..

Negan had taken longer getting ready than he had meant too. His quick shower being not so quick. He dressed in black pants and a black t-shirt, his signature leather jacket over top. He put in an order for a breakfast buffet to be brought to the den as he made his way down there, hungry after his workout, and concerned about Carl not eating. He was determined to put some meat on that kid’s bones if it was the last thing he did.

Reaching the den, he pushed open one of the doors and stepped inside, closing the door softly behind him. He looked around, expecting to find Carl seated in a chair or perhaps even looking at the books. Instead, he found him leaning halfway out the window.

Negan’s breath caught in his throat.  _ What the fuck was he doing?? _ Negan thought about calling out to him, but god he did not want to scare the boy into falling forward. He could either wait quietly and see what happened, or he could get close to the boy and grab him before he would even have time to react. Negan chose the latter.

Taking a couple quick strides across the room, Negan reached Carl swiftly and gently but firmly grabbed him by his hips and pulled backwards. “The fuck you think you’re doing, kid?!”

Carl has leaned a bit further trying to see where the cat was when suddenly, he felt the large hands around him. He screamed when he was pulled back firmly against the man. It wasn’t a lot but he felt the mans crotch against the top of his bum.  

“Don’t touch me!” he screamed, turning around quickly and swiftly punching him in the face. As soon as he saw the man’s face he gasped. “Oh my god, Sir, Negan!” he whimpered horrified. “I didn’t mean- You, you scared me! Fuck. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” he apologized shaking. He did not mean to hit him. He just got scared when he felt the man on him that his body just took over and it just happened. He didn’t hit him too hard because it was so frantic. He didn’t wind up, so it didn’t do much damage but he was scared of angering the beast.

As soon as Carl had turned around and screamed, Negan had let go, his hands flying up like he had touched a hot pan.  _ Woah woah woah! _

As soon as Carl had punched him, he froze out of shock and bewilderment. Did this boy really just… Negan rubbed at his face where Carl had hit him and turned his head slowly to lock eyes with the boy. Kid looked like he was about to die of fright on the spot, but damn did he have balls. Negan wanted to be angry at him, but it was really his own fault he got punched so that wouldn’t be fair. Instead, he snorted and let out a booming laugh.

“Damn, kid, calm down.” He raised his hands up in a passive gesture. “I’m not gonna skin ya. I get it. I knew I was gonna scare you no matter what. I’d rather you hit me then end up on the ground dead.” He rubbed at his jaw again. It wouldn’t bruise or anything, but it did sting a little.

Carl visibly let go of all his muscles, relaxing in front of the man when he saw he wasn’t that upset.  _ Thank God,  _ he thought to himself. “I wouldn’t have fallen. I don’t have good depth perception but I have pretty good balance.” He laughed a little with a small but still a bit shaky smile.

Negan gestured towards the open window, narrowing his eyes at Carl and crossing his arms over his chest. “What were you doing hanging out the window anyway?”

“I know it like, sounds dumb, but I heard a cat crying. I wanted to try and see it. I wouldn’t jump while Judy is still with my dad,” he said with a mix of a morbid chuckle and scoff. “And thanks, that’s nice of you in a sick way.” He laughed this time around.

Negan gave a slight chuckle and nodded, but he was concerned with the dark joke Carl just tried to pass off as normal. Kid really had no care for his own life, did he? He hummed. “A cat, huh?” Walking over to the window, Negan peeked out himself, only sticking his head out. Not seeing anything, he pulled back in and closed and locked the window. “Perhaps it will show up later, but I don’t see anything now.” 

He stepped closer to the boy and reached out, meaning to place his hand on Carl’s lower back in order to guide him, but he stopped short and just hovered his hand behind the boy. “Come on, take a seat over here,” he said pointing at the large couch. He was about to make his way to it too when there was a knock on the door. He walked over to answer it, and came back with a cart filled with breakfast food. Pancakes, eggs, hash browns, scones, muffins, fruit, etc. A jug of water and pot of coffee rested on the lower shelf.

He wheeled it next to the coffee table in front of the couch. “Dig in, kid!” he said, pouring himself a cup of coffee and taking a huge scoop of the eggs. Negan plopped down on one end of the couch and began eating his food. He watched Carl expectantly.

Carl nodded a bit, making his way over to the couch smiling softly when the food came in. For some reason the thought of eating actually made him a bit sick. He followed Negan’s lead anyway, grabbing a plate for himself before piling up on fruit.   
He leaned back about the worn leather, sighing a bit. It was soft, very comfortable and relaxing.   
He didn’t use a fork when he ate the grapes, orange slices and melon chunks, he just popped them into his mouth via his fingers. He watched Negan eat too, making sure he, himself, was not eating to much of the tons of food laid before the two of them.   
“So where should we start? What do you want to know? I’m sure you have at least a few questions for me,” Carl said.

Negan took a sip of his coffee and watched the other eat some fruit. It was something at least. He nodded, turning towards Carl. “Alright, how about I ask you a question and then you ask me one, and we go on like that?” He took another sip of coffee before setting it down on the table along with his empty plate, having inhaled his eggs. He sure had some questions, but he wanted to start off basic. Didn’t want the boy to clam up or run out on him.

Carl nodded. “I’m an open book. Sounds like a good idea.” He said, licking the fruit juice off his fingers and lips before looking up to meet the man's eyes.

“Ok, how old are you?” Negan started with.

“I’m seventeen, I think, but I could be eighteen,” he said. “I lost track. I know my birthday is in June, but I don’t remember the day.” He laughed a little. It was June now so he would know by the end of the month he would definitely be eighteen.

Negan’s eyebrows knitted in slight confusion. The kid didn’t know his own birthday? Rick must not be the birthday party type. Negan had the sudden urge to get a cake delivered to the room. 

Carl took a few more fruit pieces and then a scone. His body was screaming for carbs in particular since he needed quick fuel and some body fat. He ripped it in half and started gnawing on it. 

“Why are you interested in helping me when I wanted you dead?” he asked. “Because no matter what the reason, if someone wanted me dead, I’d be fucking pissed.”

Negan shook his thoughts away and let a sardonic smile curl across his face. Sharp laughter bubbled from his chest. “Kid,” He reached for his coffee and took a sip. He set it down gently and locked eyes with Carl. “I’m fucking furious.” He stated this calmly like he was talking about the weather, smile still on his face, but fire in his eyes.

“Not because you tried to kill me. No, in my line of work if someone  _ doesn’t _ want me dead, I’m not doing something right. No.” He leaned forward towards Carl, smile fading. There was still a whole cushion of space between them, but with Negan’s height he knew he still looked imposing.

“I’m fucking pissed at the loss of good men, the loss of good money, the loss of good resources, that  _ you _ have cost me.” He jabbed a finger at the boy. “I’m pissed that a little brat could make his way to my personal floor with barely an injury.” His workout from earlier was helping him keep from full out lunging at the boy. God, he was also angry that for some reason he seemed to care about the kid. Curse his bleeding heart.

“So, why do I want to help you?” He leaned back, pausing to take a deep breath and calm down. “Because I’d be stupid not to. I’ve seen the security tapes. I saw you take down my men. You  _ almost _ took down me. You are a badass kid, and call me selfish, but I want that on my team. I want  _ you _ .” His eyes shone as his smile returned. “You will still answer for the grievances you’ve caused me, but like I said, that can wait until after we get your sister. Frankly, your old man has been a thorn in my side for a while now and it’ll be nice to hit him down a peg.” Negan shrugged.

Carl licked his lips nervously, listening to the mans words. He was gonna pay but he wasn’t sure how. He was pretty scared but he did his best to conceal it. The only punishments he has had took him months to recover from but he had to be ready. He couldn’t jump ship until he had Judy back in his arms.   
“I understand. If I were you I’d make me pay too. Punishment to pay for the losses,” he said, leaning back away from Negan, slumped on the couch.

“My turn then, right?” Negan said after a moment, leaning forward again, and pointing at Carl’s face. “What’s under the bandage, huh? Is it gross? Can I see it?”

Carl stiffened up when he was asked about his face. “Punishment by my dad...” he muttered. “Got it after Judy was born,” he said looking at his fingers as he picked at the skin around his thumbs. Picking until he saw blood. “It’s healed over now but I wear the bandage so I don’t have to see it in the mirror.”

The more Negan heard about Rick from his son, the more his blood boiled. He was afraid he wasn’t going to able to keep his promise about not killing him. All he wanted to do was wrap his hands around Rick’s neck until he stopped moving.

Negan sighed, frowning at the sight of Carl fidgeting with his hands. He wanted to reach out and stop him, but didn’t think physical contact would be the best solution. Instead he wondered how far he could push him. “Let me see.” He pointed towards Carl’s eye again. “Take that off.”

Carl froze, stopping his fidgeting when the man told him to remove the bandage. His mind was racing and before he could think he quickly said, “No.” He growled, glaring at him. “I don’t want to,” he said, his heart thumping hard against his ribcage as he stared angrily at the man. It was personal, it was embarrassing and it hurt, emotionally.

Negan leveled a glare back at him. On the inside he was gleeful that the kid still had his bravery, but sometimes bravery and stupidity went hand in hand. He was curious to see what the boy would do.

“That was an order. It’s not up for debate,” Negan stated, voice level but sharp. “Consider it part of  _ my _ punishment for you.” He leaned closer to the boy, elbows on his knees and hands clasped together, his chin resting on them. “Take. It. Off.” He growled.

Carl growled back but eventually was defeated. Scooting to the edge of the seat he slowly pulled back his hair and unraveled the long bandage. Once off, Negan could see it.

It was large, wrapping around his head, most of it was pink and raised from scarring while other pieces looked black, like they were rotting from the inside.

Carl sat straight, trying to be as calm as possible as he watched the man's reaction to his injury. It also wasn’t clean, the mark looked like it had been a lot more than just taking out his eye since his skull was a bit warped on the side.

Negan’s eyes widened as the wound was revealed to him. It was nasty but it was amazing all at once. He wondered what the fuck Rick did to him. How could he hurt his own child in such a permanent scarring way. As much as he was angry that it happened to Carl, he was also giddy about the fact that Carl had obeyed him. He couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face.

“Shit, kid. That’s wicked. Why would you cover that up? No one would fuck with you if had that showing.” He whistled in appreciation and scooted a small bit closer.

Carl was a bit relieved that Negan hadn’t said something worse. He sighed a bit and shrugged. “I don’t know. I just don’t like scaring people with my ugly ass face,” he said shrugging a bit.

“Hey now, it’s not ugly. It gives ya character, and the rest of your face is good looking enough to make up for it anyway,” Negan said, shrugging, like that was the most obvious thing in the world. He scooted a hair closer. “Can I touch it?” Negan asked, voice slightly softer. Negan wondered if it ever been looked at by a doctor though. He made a mental note to have the medic check over Carl soon.

“Um, I’d rather you not. Eh… something happened to it and the inside of it hurts now,” he explained vaguely, not wanting to think about it. The back inside part looked like the part that started to rot. “Why would you wanna touch it anyway?”

Negan frowned at that. It really probably shouldn’t be hurting. Now he  _ really  _ wanted to get a medic to look at it. “I don’t know, kid. I just want to feel it. It looks cool, probably feels cool too.” His fingers twitched where they rested on his knee. He wouldn’t push Carl to let him touch it. Negan had his morals, and he wasn’t about to touch someone without their consent.

“Will it lessen the punishment later on?” Carl asked, licking his lips, picking again, clearly nervous. “If so, then yeah. You can touch it, but nothing to deep, okay?” he said crossing his arms a bit, his heart racing again.

The outer rim of his eye, or the hole where it used to be, was hard and scarred, while the inner was soft and squishy, the back was almost black and liquified. He felt a bit sick to his stomach but he’d stomach the bad feelings if it meant not getting a few fingers chopped off.

Negan perked up at Carl’s words. He was actually going to let him? Negan felt honored, even though it was kind of a trade off situation. Negan licked his lips and scooted close enough to Carl so that he could reach him comfortably. Their knees were close to touching but not quite. 

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” He nodded, giddy at the situation. He took a breath and reached out slowly, letting his fingers start on the soft unmarked skin of Carl’s cheek. Ever so gently and slowly, Negan slid his fingers from Carl’s cheek to the side of his head, feeling the skin go from smooth to scarred. He gasped softly as he felt the puckered skin and ever so slowly ran his fingers forward to the actual eye socket.

Being so close, he could see the rot on the inside and he knew that was no good and definitely attributing to whatever pain Carl was feeling. He kept his fingers out from inside, but traced them slowly around the socket, marveling at the feel of the rough skin. He bit his bottom lip as he traced. He didn’t know why, but he loved the feeling of it. But was it just the wound, or was it Carl in general that he enjoyed having under his fingers? He wasn’t sure.

Carl hated that he loved this. It took all of his willpower to not nuzzle into the man's hand. He craved good touch like someone would crave heroin. It’s been proven kids die much faster when they aren’t touched in loving ways, and Carl was on that brink. His body melted into the man's touched, smiling softly as he was held.   
That all changed when he felt the man's fingers slowly migrate to his eye, he felt as if he was gonna throw up. It was weird since his body told him to pull away, thinking his eye was still there and the man was going to touch it.  His stomach was flipped when the man touched the perimeter. He was waiting for him to suddenly jam his fingers in but it never happened. 

Negan let his fingers glide from Carl’s socket down the bridge of his nose, tapping the tip of it, before leaning back but not scooting away. “Thank you.” He gave Carl a small smile. “I want to have a medic look at that, by the way. Get it cleaned up.”

Carl listened before shaking his head. “No, no medic. I don’t want anyone touching it. No one gets to touch it,” he said grabbing his bandage.

Negan noticed the way that Carl had leaned into his touch at first and locked that reaction away for later. When Carl refused a medic, Negan frowned. His socket  _ needed _ medical attention. Negan knew it was a sensitive area, and obviously an emotional wound as much as a physical one, but if it was too bad it could start hurting the boy in other ways.

He sighed. When Carl grabbed his bandage, Negan gently reached out and covered Carl’s hand in his, stopping him from putting the bandage back on. He locked his eyes with Carl’s one, noticing just how blue it was now that he was up close, and said in a soft voice, “No. If you won’t see a medic, you don’t get it wrapped.” Negan wasn’t doing this as part of the punishment. He wanted to see if it would help the wound if it was aired out and not continuously covered. He also used it as an excuse to touch Carl again and gauge his reaction.

Carl whined a bit, frowning. This wasn’t fair, he didn’t wanna do this right now. “What is the medic gonna do?” he asked. He hadn’t been to a doctor since he was in second grade and even then he didn’t fully remember. He held Negan’s gaze anxiously as the man held his hand. It was cold and twitchy. “What would happen if I went to see them?” He asked, nervous as any kid would be going to the doctors. 

Negan cocked his head, eyebrows furrowing slightly. “Well, the medic would inspect the wound, clean it probably, and give you some kind of medicine to help it heal, either a cream or a pill antibiotic,” Negan explained, wondering if Carl had ever been to the doctor to ask such a question. He was glad to notice that Carl didn’t pull away from his touch. 

“This isn’t even about me. We just need to get Judith and then it’s whatever. We only have today and tomorrow...” he huffed after some time, taking his hand away from Negan’s and crossing his arms softly in a pout. His lips were full for a boy, full pink and soft.

“This  _ is _ about you. I want you healthy. You have to be good to fight and you have to be good to look after your sister.” Negan’s eyes flicked to Carl’s lips as the boy pouted. He licked his own lips and gave him a small smile. “I’ll stay with you while the medic examines you, if you’d like. And don’t worry. I called in some help. They won’t be here till later this afternoon. We’re gonna get your sister. Trust me.” Negan reached up and chucked Carl under the chin softly. 

Carl blushed softly looking out at Negan, chewing his lip hard, chewing and chewing nervously until a bit of the skin broke. “Okay. I’ll see a medic, that's fine,” he said nervously. “Is it a man or a woman?” he asked as he continued to gnaw at his bottom lip, looking into Negan’s eyes as the man hooked his chin with his finger to force him to look up at him. “And thank you, for this...I promise not to die for at least a few years.”

Negan smiled. “Thanks for… not dying,” he snorted. He felt the urge to run his finger over Carl’s lip as the younger bit at it, but decided that was not the best idea. These feelings were not what he needed to be dealing with right now. Mentally shaking his head, he stood up and straightened his jacket. “The medic is a woman. Denise. She’s top of her class and has worked for me for years.” He gestured for Carl to stand. “Come, I can take you now and by time she’s done I’m sure my friends will be here, and then we can get to planning.”

Carl nodded before standing up, smiling a bit. He felt a little small compared to the other man but then again he felt that way with most people since he only stood up at 5’6” and 42 kg. He looked back out the window before looking to the door. “Dad said it would have healed by now,” he muttered to himself. “Think he was just trying to comfort me though.” He walked into the hallway, in front of Negan before waiting for him to take the lead and show him the way to this Denise woman.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl goes to see Denise and gets a check up. Things go as well as you might expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a RP written by myself and [matthew-the-neko-boy](https://matthew-the-neko-boy.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. In this chapter, I'm Negan and Matt is Carl and Denise and Dwight for a second.
> 
> This chapter includes a medical exam, forced drug use, and mentions of abuse/selfharm/skullfucking.
> 
> Thank you for all the comments! I am so glad you guys are enjoying this so far, and I hope you like this next chapter!

Negan led the way through the halls to the elevator. He held the door open for Carl, and once the boy was in, pressed the button for the correct floor. He shoved his hands in his jacket pockets and rocked on his feet as they traveled downwards. He looked over at the boy. His face was still unwrapped, and Negan liked seeing it unobscured by the bandage. Hopefully he could convince Carl to keep it that way permanently.

The elevator stopped and Negan led the way down a short hall. This hallway was different than the others they had been down. It was all white, walls and floors, no carpet, and smelled vaguely of antiseptic.

“You’ll like Denise. She’s great,” Negan said offhandedly as they walked. He finally stopped and knocked on a door. “Helllooo? Denise? I’ve got a new patient for ya!” Carl started to shake a bit when he smelt the antiseptic. He stood back, holding his arms nervously as his stomach turned and the stomach acid rose into his throat and his head felt dizzy. 

Denise quickly pulled away from Tara blushing, standing up straight, brushing herself off and walking to the door. She opened it as Tara came up from behind her. Tara winked at Denise, kissing her cheek before popping a lollipop back into her own mouth, walking past Negan and the kid. “Mornin’ boss,” she said, leaving with a smirk on her face. Negan nodded at Tara as she passed him, a knowing smirk on his own face.

Denise looked over and saw Carl looking like he was going to faint or vomit. “Okay, come in. Are you okay? What’s wrong?” she said quickly to Carl who made no move to go forward.

Looking back at Denise, Negan smiled, all teeth and debonair. “This is Carl. I’d like you to take a look at his… eye wound,” Negan looked down at Carl and realized the kid didn’t look so good. Maybe this was why he was so hesitant about visiting the medic in the first place. Negan placed a hand solidly on Carl’s mid-back, just resting it there to give the kid something to fall back on in case he passed out, and also reassuring him that Negan was there.

“Hey, Carl. I’m Denise. Will you come into my office for a second? I promise it’s all good,” she said. She could see the boy was showing major red flags of something. Being a psych major helped her put the pieces together a bit seeing that the boy was underweight, had faded bruises, and was clearly anxious.

Carl just looked at her, again not moving. He hated that smell so much he just couldn’t. All he could think off was how much it burned when the antiseptic was poured over his eye which was forcibly held open as he screamed. How his lungs burned and his voice broke from the screaming before the real trauma had even began.

The flash back was too much. His face paled more and he lurched over to the side, throwing up everything he had just eaten with Negan, choking on the food he hadn’t chewed so well.

“Oh, dear god. Sir, I-I um-,” Denise stammered staring at the boy. “He needs to lay down right away. Something is setting him off,” Denise said quickly.

Negan’s demeanor immediately steeled, and he didn’t hesitate in picking Carl up. God, the boy was light. Carl didn’t fight it, simply because he was still in shock. Negan stepped over the mess on the floor and pushed past Denise to get into the office and headed straight for the exam bed in the room. He deposited Carl on the bed as gently as he could, pushing the teen’s hair away from his face. “Kid? Carl? Are you ok?” He shot a look to Denise. “What’s wrong with him?” he snapped. He didn’t mean to sound harsh at Denise, it wasn’t her fault, but Carl’s reaction had quite frankly scared him and he needed answers.

As soon as he was laid out flat he tried sitting up, his head felt so god damn dizzy but everything in his body told him if he were to lay down something bad would happen to him. 

“I don’t know. I think he’s having a panic attack,” she said. “Where did you find him? Who is he? I need some background Negan!” She frantically started going through the medicine cabinet to look for a sedative for a last resort if the boy didn’t come down.

“Let go of me!” Carl yelled at Negan, pushing and shoving him away desperately trying to get off of the table and stand despite the room spinning around him. His heart was going so fast he started to sweat and shake.

Negan grabbed at the boy, keeping him on the table but only barely. He might’ve been skinny but he was still pretty strong. Adrenaline did that to a person. “He’s the kid who broke in last night,” Negan explained to Denise, voice raised as he struggled with Carl. “I tried to bring him in last night, but you were busy with Simon and Arat. I’m pretty sure his dad’s been treating him like trash, and I want him looked over, especially his eye!” Negan wrapped his arms around Carl’s middle, trapping his arms against his body in the process. “I don’t know why he’s freaking out!”

“Get off of me!” Carl screamed, his head thrashing as he tried biting and kicking his way out of Negan’s arms. “Let me go! Get off! No!” he yelled. He was like a mechanical bull.

Denise stared for a few moments. “How much does he weigh Negan?!” She asked frantically as she filled a syringe with a clear liquid. “A hundred pounds?!” She said nervously. If she didn’t give him enough he wouldn’t calm down but he she gave him to much she could kill him. She was terrified. She quickly made her way over, stabbing it into Carl’s neck, pushing down on the syringe. She only pushed a little more then a forth of the liquid in before she saw the effects and pulled the needle out.

The boys pupils dilated, growing huge, his body slowly slumping back down to his original small stature, feeling weightless again in Negan’s arms no longer fighting. She had given him the perfect amount. He was conscious still but sedated enough where they could move him easily without any struggle.

Negan felt the boy deflate in his arms. He held on for a moment longer, catching his breath and making sure Carl really was sedated enough. Lord, he was not prepared for that. 

Gently, he unwound himself from Carl and helped move him back in a laying down position on the bed. Negan looked at the poor boy and sighed, moving his long hair away from his face again. Negan found that his hands were shaking slightly. This boy had been through so much. Nobody should have had to deal with this abuse. Anger flickered inside of Negan at the thought of Rick doing horrible things to this beautiful boy. His eyebrows knitted together and he growled softly at the thought. He looked up at Denise. “I’m going to stay while you look him over. Let me know if I can help in anyway.”

Carl’s chest moved up and down, as he panted, sweat still glistening on his forehead. His eye looked like he was so high. Denise looked down at the boy and Negan, shaking herself. “Around eighty or ninety,” she said finally, putting the syringe done. “He’s around eighty to ninety pounds. Not a hundred,” she said catching her breath before turning to put some gloves on.

“Jesus,” Negan breathed out, shocked at Denise’s words. Eighty to ninety pounds. A teenager that was 80 to 90 pounds. What was wrong with the people in this world?

“Do you know how he got this injury? If I knew it’ll be much easier to know whats wrong.” She came over with some tools. “Actually it’d be really helpful if you held his head still in your lap or something,” she finally said.

Negan swallowed down a lump that was forming in his throat and climbed up onto the exam bed, softly repositioning Carl so that his head was in his lap. He cupped the boy’s uninjured side of his face in his hand and rubbed smooth circles with his thumb, hoping it was soothing to the boy. He looked over at Denise getting ready and nodded. “Just a little. I know his dad took his eye out, but I don’t know how. He didn’t tell me that…” He gazed back down at Carl. “Shh,” he shushed quietly.

Carl whined a bit when he was repositioned. The injection of the sedative was in his neck which was where Negan’s bruised in hand print was from the night prior to this so it was pretty sore. “His fingers, and he just dumped it all in, and like, just pop out with the fingers,” he said giggling after he made a pop sound with his mouth. “Pop,” he said again, giggling, smiling.

Negan shushed the boy again as he spoke, cringing at his words and the sardonic smile on his face. He moved his hand from the boy’s cheek to his hair, petting it and running his fingers through it.

Denise nodded a bit and got out another syringe, quickly injecting it into the side of Carl’s face where he couldn’t see it. It would numb out his eye so she could clean it without him being in too much pain. She got a medical tool that was a glorified spoon and started to scrape a bit on the inside. The black stuff came out easily. She dropped it out into the sink cleaning the spoon off a few times and repeating it until all the black stuff was gone. The back of his eye looked a bit ripped. Like something had forced its way inside of his eye socket.

Denise froze, trying to think of what could have happened. “I-It, um, the rot wasn’t his eye. It was, a foreign liquid...” She didn’t wanna actually say it.

“Fucking sadist…” Negan mumbled, watching Denise clean the socket. He crinkled his nose in disgust watching her scoop out the tar like material. It looked so much better once the gunk was out of it. Maybe now it could heal properly.   
Negan fantasized about getting Carl a fancy eyepatch for it. Granted, he’d want it uncovered at all times, but if it had to be covered, a badass eyepatch would look amazing on the teen.

He was shaken from his thoughts at Denise’s words. He narrowed his eyes at her. Was she insinuated what he thought she was? “What kind of foreign liquid?” he asked, trying to stay calm.

She got nervous when she watched the mans shift from day dreaming to anger. “I think it, um, it might be ejaculate...” She tried to make it sound medical but it wasn’t working. “I can’t be for sure but, putting two and two together, I think that it could be that. Since the back is scarred a bit and teared because something was forced inside, um....” she kept rambling out of nervousness.

“What?” Carl said trying to sit up again, this time very weakly, unable to do much without assistance so he was easily held back by the older man. “I need to see Judith,” he said. “Daddy’ll be mad about the crying.” He reached up to rub his face, hearing things because of the meds.

Negan felt his pulse rise drastically, and his jaw clenched tight. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath through his nose holding it for a moment. What. The. Fuck. Negan didn’t know what to think. He was furious, but also confused. How could anyone... He let out his breath.

He opened his eyes again, looking down at Carl. He stopped the boy from touching his own face, taking his hands and placing them lightly down at his sides for him. He ran a soft touch over his forehead and cheek. “It’s ok,” he spoke in a surprisingly soft and calm voice. “Judith is fine. You need to get some rest. You’ve had a long day.”

He ran his hands down the sides of Carl’s face and covered the boy’s ears gently with his hands before looking back up at Denise. Carl whined, but didn’t fight him when his hands were put down and his ears covered. He was acting like one of those people in those videos who just got their wisdom tooth taken out. He giggled up at Negan, the man looked weird at this kinda angle. Negan had a smile on his face and spoke softly, but the malice could be heard dripping from his lips as he asked her, “Are you telling me someone fucked his eye socket?”

“Yes, Sir,” she said biting her lip. “And, I assume he has a lot more of those type of injuries and others....um, how long has he lived with that guy?” she asked as Carl hallucinated smiling. “And who is Judith?” she asked confused.

“I assume he’s lived with him his whole life since he’s his fucking father,” Negan bit out without raising his voice. He looked back down at Carl, studying his face. He was cute when he smiled, even if it was because of drugs. He didn’t look away from Carl as he spoke to Denise, “And Judith is his little sister. He was sent here to kill me in order to save her.” Negan moved his hands from Carl’s ears, trailing them down to the boys’ neck where the bruises Negan had put there were bright as could be. He wanted to massage away the pain he knew Carl felt there, but trailed his hands back up to rest on his cheeks instead. He didn’t want to hurt him any more than he already had. “I promised him I’d help him save her from their father, and I intend to keep that promise.” He did not mention that he also promised not to kill Rick, but that promise was all but already broken. That man was going to die in the slowest, most painful way possible. Maybe he’d pop out one of Rick’s eyes and fuck the hole just to show him a taste of his own medicine.

The thought made his stomach turn. No, Negan couldn’t sink to Rick’s level of disgusting. Though, a man could survive for a while without arms or legs, and Negan wasn’t above a little limb chopping. “Is there anything you can do for him now? Any kind of medicine?” Negan asked, finally looking back up at Denise.

Carl giggled again, puffing up his cheeks, giggling. “I’m like those fishies that are all puffy you see on the books.” He smiled and puffed up more looking up at him, brightly. He was acting a hell of a lot more his age when he was on drugs.

“Yes, of course,” Denise said giving him a bottle of pills. “Cut them in half, he can have one every four to eight hours depending on his pain level. But, I would keep the bottle with you because from the panic attack he just had I think it’s not to smart of an idea to let him keep the bottle for himself.”

Negan actually snorted and laughed at Carl’s antics. Gosh, he was cute. He poked one of Carl’s puffy cheeks as he took the pill bottle from Denise. “Makes sense.” He slipped it into his pocket immediately, nodding at her.

Denise sighed. “Should we, I mean, should I do the rest of the exam like a full one? Or no?”

Looking back over the boy, Negan sighed. He wanted to do a full exam just to know if anything else was seriously wrong, but he was afraid that even in his drugged state Carl would fight it. He bit at his bottom lip for a minute before nodding at Denise again. “Yeah, I want a full exam, but if he starts getting too uncomfortable you stop, ok?”

Carl smiled and grabbed his hand. “I’m sorry, you’re, like, so handsome but, like, I, like, tried to shoot you in the face and I feel bad,” he said and sighed. “Oh my god, can I, like, have candy? I like slush. Oh my god... I want sugar!” he said, cheering.

Negan couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face. He actually giggled at Carl’s words. He couldn’t help it as the ‘handsome’ bit went straight to his head and stroked his ego. “Kid, you can have all the candy you want once you’re healed up.”

Denise nodded softly and looked at the boy. “I want him to get in a gown or at least get down to his boxers but I don’t think he’s gonna respond to well to that,” she said. “I could grab a tablespoon of Haven Dust and that could chill him out really quick,” she said. Haven Dust was another name for THC oil but without the high. “Without stripping, I can already tell you he had broken bones that haven’t healed right in his left ankle, his ribs and his left wrist,” she explained.

Negan squeezed the hand that Carl was now holding, looking at Denise, a stupid smile still on his face. It fell as her words sunk into him. God, he was getting hit with alternate emotions back and forth right now. “Yeah, that’s what I was afraid of as well,” he concurred. He didn’t know if even his silver tongue could convince Carl that they were just trying to help him if they started stripping him. Based on the new knowledge Negan had, he felt like giving him more drugs was probably the best solution besides just knocking him out completely.

“I think we’re gonna have to drug him,” he sighed. “Do the broken bones need to be broken again and reset?” he asked, afraid of the answer. “Because if so, can that wait? I want him well enough that he can help get his sister back.”

“Yes, they have to be rebroken and set, but I’m not sure I can do that on my own.” Denise looked at him before going to the counter and getting a spoon full of the liquid. “We’d have to take him somewhere else or bring someone in to break the bones.” She came around and looked at Carl. “Open your mouth please,” she said as calmly as she could but as soon as Carl saw she was trying to give him something his brain screamed no.

He stated to thrash again, yelling and fighting. “No! Get off!” he screamed, getting scared again.

“No, Carl its okay. This is gonna help you!” Denise said, but Carl knocked the spoon out of her hand, trying to get up.

“Get off of me, let go! I don’t wanna!” He turned and swung at Negan. He was shaky and weak but his swing was fast nevertheless.

“Fuck! Carl, calm down!” Negan kept hold of the boy as he thrashed. Denise quickly got another spoonful and shoved it in his mouth. This time it took a bit longer but it worked better. Carl sat back and looked tired.

“What....what was that. I can’t....” He held his head in shaking hands.

Negan was thankful that Denise was quick with getting the drug a second time. He held the boy as the drug ran through his system and calmed him down. “Shh, Carl. We’re just trying to help.” Negan tilted Carl’s head back to look up at him, taking his shaking hands in his and giving them a light squeeze. “Please, kid, you gotta trust me.”

“You drugged me...” He squeezed the man’s hands shaking his head. “I’m - I don’t wanna.” He groaned. “Don’t hurt me...” He laid down, sighing. The drugs made him conscious and aware but it slowed his reaction time and his motor skills.

“Carl it’s fine. You’re fine,” Denise said and looked at the kid. “We’re gonna take off your clothes but you can leave your boxers on, okay?”

“No, no.” Carl shook his head. “Not okay, do not touch me.” He glared. He was slurring his words.

Negan felt his heart break. Fuck. He shot Denise a quick look. “Do not touch him until he consents.” He didn’t think she would, but he wanted to make sure and let Carl know that at the same time. He looked back down at the boy, leaning forward slightly to get closer. “Carl, please. We just want to check you over for injuries. We want to help you heal. The drugs are just to help you be calm.” He squeezed Carl’s hands again. “You have to trust me, please. Have I done anything to harm you since I agreed to help you get your sister? Hmm?” He had the strongest urge to lean the rest of the way forward and place a soft kiss on Carl’s forehead, but he resisted. Carl was drugged and Denise was here and he wasn’t sure the feelings that were starting to course through his veins were strictly platonic or parental in nature. So, he ran his thumbs softly over Carl’s knuckles and gazed into that single blue eye, silently begging him.

Carl blushed harder staring up at Negan’s eyes with an almost innocent smile. “I knew you were good,” he said and poked Negan’s jaw a little hard. “You’re a good guy.” He smiled.

Denise watched this go down. She wasn’t sure at all how this man, who typically frightened newcomers, was so brightly shining in the boy’s eyes, well eye.

“Fine, but I-I don’t want my clothes off. I-I’m not ready my like, like chest and sides aren’t nice looking.”

Negan smiled down at the boy. He was glad he was coming around to him. Or.. at least the drugs were making him that way. Negan was curious to see how Carl acted once the drugs were flushed out of him. Negan set his hands on either side of Carl’s head and massaged the boy’s temples with his thumbs. “We will need to look at your body, Carl. We don’t have to completely remove your clothes if you don’t want, but examining your wounds, new and old, is the point of this. Is it alright if we just pull your shirt up but not off?”

Carl almost purred against the man’s hands rubbed against his temples. He felt so weird. He didn’t like it. It reminded him of when he was forced to take a similar drug a few months back. It made him a bit sick to think about. It was the same time he got his eye fucked. They didn’t want him thrashing too much. “I guess, yeah.” He nodded a bit, still pressing his head into the man’s hands liking the touch. His body craved good touch, gentle touch.

Denise very slowly took Carl’s shirt and picked it up. He had a few older bruises here and there. His bottom two ribs protruded past his muscle and stretched the skin so they were visible. The two on his left side looked disfigured and unsmooth unlike the right two ribs that looked fine.

Denise pulled up his sleeves too, even though he seemed a bit more upset about that with his non verbal protests. There was scars around the tops of his wrists as well as a few faded bruises. His right wrist had a thick messy jagged scar doing from palm to the crook of his elbow.

Negan hushed Carl softly when he got uncomfortable. “Shh, it’s alright.” He continued running his thumbs along his temples, letting Carl lean into his hands, but Negan’s eyes were glued on the skin that Denise was revealing. He sucked in a breath at the misshapen ribs and the nasty scar on his right arm. Negan was having second thoughts about letting Carl fight for him. All he wanted to do was lock the boy away from anything that could ever harm him again. “Fuck…” he whispered. “Can you tell what did that?” he asked quietly, nodding towards Carl’s arm.

Carl groaned a little and cuddled into the man's hands. He was just so tired and he didn’t wanna be here right now. “He wanted to see what it looked like. He numbed it first though,” he muttered and closed his eyes again.

Denise looked closer at it before nodding to Negan, to conform his story. The wound was stretched open before it scarred over.

“The other thing is... I stabbed me,” he muttered, pointing to his clothed leg. He hated this feeling he had right now. He hated feeling numb, slow, just drugged. “But like, not because that I was- it’s not like that.” Carl didn’t know how to explain himself.

Negan shushed Carl again. “It’s alright. You don’t have to explain right now. We’re just assessing and observing.” Negan flashed a look to Denise and then to Carl’s leg, silently telling her to look at that next. He felt his stomach flip at the thought of someone dissecting a live human, let alone their own son. He couldn’t imagine what they were going to find that Carl did to himself. And if it wasn’t self harm, then what?   
He ran one hand up to Carl’s forehead, running light touches along it and up and down the bridge of Carl’s nose. “Just relax, Carl. It’s ok.”

He sniffled a bit as he was touched. “Why are just so nice to me?” he asked. “I wanted to kill you, like, so bad, and you’re, like, the nicest person I’ve ever met,” he said, looking up at the man’s eyes.

Negan frowned slightly at Carl’s words. There were many words to describe Negan. Fair, loyal, scary, vengeful… but nice? He hadn’t been called nice in a very long time. It felt good. Why was he helping him? Because no one should have to go through what Carl had? Because Carl reminded him of his younger self? Because he was nice?

Negan blinked down at the boy, unable to answer him. He cared about the boy for some inexplicable reason. Call it fate, call it luck, but Negan could tell they were brought together for a reason. Even if that reason was going to get him killed in a day.

Denise nodded a bit to Negan before looking awkwardly at Carl’s pants. “Carl, um, could you...take off your pants? You can leave your boxers on, i just need to see your thigh,” she said and Carl glared at her.

“No.” He said strongly. Denise frowned.

“Please, Carl, it’s okay,” she said again and he huffed, resting his head back down with Negan as she undid his jeans and pulled them down.

He had a good inch and a half thigh gap. His thighs were thin, smooth but toned with muscle on them from running. He had three scars from what Denise could tell. One was jagged and strange looking, very faded on the outer edge of his leg. Another was near the dead center of his left leg, a healed gunshot. And on his right was a small half a centimeter big, perfect circle scar.

Negan kept his hands soothing over Carl, moving from his face to his hair, as he looked up to see the skin Denise was revealing. He grimaced at the gunshot scar. He knew how bad those hurt. His eyebrows knitted at the other ones. What could make such a perfect circle? “What’s your assessment?” he asked Denise.

“He’ll be fine. Just need those pills once a day and we need to do those re-breaks but everything else seems fine. He’s healed really nicely,” she said and moved her hand along the circle scar. “What’s this made from, Carl?” she asked.

“A pen,” he said and whined a bit, cuddling into the mans lap.

“A pen?” Negan asked. “What? How-,”

Dwight knocked on the door before coming in, cutting Negan off. “Negan, Sir, Miss Rhee and Ezekiel are here to see you,” he said stiffening up when he saw the boy’s head in Negan’s lap. Negan looked to the other man and noticed the shift in his stance at the sight in the room. Carl had his head in Negan’s lap, Negan’s hands all over his face, and Denise had the kid’s pants down. Yeah. This would require explaining later.

He nodded to Dwight. “Good. Wait for me in the meeting room. I’ll be there soon.” Negan turned back to Carl, brushing some of his hair away from his face.

“Yes, Sir. I’ll get them all refreshments as well.” Dwight said. Out of all of Negan’s men, Dwight had seemed the most compassionate towards others.

“I wanted him to be at this meeting,” Negan said to Denise without looking up. “How long will the drugs be in his system?”

“About forty minutes,” she said. “He won’t be fully up and aware, but he’ll be calm and conscious enough to answer questions,” she explained and Carl whined.

“No, all I want is some chicken nuggets.” He pouted up at Negan before giggling again. “You’re like super handsome. Did you know that?” he said. His words were already getting clearer, his motor functions unfreezing from the drugs while his filter stayed foggy from the drugs.

Negan was having such a hard time staying serious as Carl babbled unfiltered at him. He snorted a laugh and patted Carl’s cheek. “I can get you chicken nuggets soon, and yes, I did know that. Now, Carl, I’m gonna need you to focus here. We have to go to a meeting to discuss how to save your sister. We need your knowledge of your father’s place. Can you get it together for me?” he asked the boy in his lap.

This was a horrible idea, Negan knew that, but he didn’t want to leave them waiting for forty minutes, so this was how Carl was going, whether he liked it or not. Negan looked up at Denise. “Can he walk, or should we get him in a wheelchair?”

“He- he can walk, but he needs help,” she said and looked at the pair.

“No- I’m good we need to get my baby,” he whimpered, rubbing his face. “Please like if she dies. I’ll-I’ll have to kill us all.” He giggled a bit smiling. “And me and Rick and you and everyone has to go,” he said smiling up at him. “She’s like in the box. Our room is in the box room.” He continued to ramble as Denise tried helping him up on sturdy yet unbalanced legs that would quickly crumble without support.

“He might not be ready to speak with the others, Sir. Did you hear what he had just said? He isn’t ready,” Denise said.

Negan hopped off the table, wrapping a strong arm around Carl’s waist to keep him up. He glared at Denise. “Yeah, I fuckin’ heard him. What else do you want me to do? Have them wait?” he snapped at her, maneuvering Carl’s arm around his own shoulders to try and get the boy to grab onto him. Negan knew he was letting his anger go at the wrong person, but he needed time to think things through and he didn’t have that. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand. “We don’t the time to wait,” he explained softer. “We’re down to two days, and I’d rather be at Rick’s door earlier than later.”

He looked at the drugged up boy in his arms. Carl was a mess. God, maybe he should make them wait. He could have Dwight distract the others for 40 minutes right?

Carl’s left hand balled up into a first, clutching Negan’s jacket for support as they stood. “Who are they? Why do I have to speak to them?” he whined, trying to walk before Negan did, tugging at his side a little, wanting him to go forward.

“I think he’ll be okay, he just- maybe just try to ask him questions, be specific and he’ll answer them fine. Right, Carl?” she asked. He nodded his head a bit.

“Yea, well this is your fault! I-I didn’t want this.” He just waved a hand over his face. Denise started to scratch her arm nervously, knowing the boy would be upset about all of this.

Negan took a step forward to avoid falling down, pulling Carl closer to his side. “They are friends who are gonna help us get your sister. You need to talk to them so we know where she is and how to get to her,” he said, answering Carl’s question. “And don’t yell at Denise. We’re just trying to help you, kid. It’s just… bad timing is all. Now, come on, can you walk?” Negan started towards the door. Luckily, the meeting room wasn’t really that far, just a quick ride up the elevator and down a short hallway, but if Carl couldn’t walk it, Negan had no qualms picking the boy up.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A meeting ensues. A plan is begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a RP written by myself and [matthew-the-neko-boy](https://matthew-the-neko-boy.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. In this chapter, I'm Negan and Maggie and Matt is Carl and Ezekiel.
> 
> Mentioned in this chapter is animal abuse, fyi. Nothing too graphic...
> 
> Thank you all for reading and for your lovely comments! We love to read them and know that you guys are loving this story just as much as we do!

Carl huffed when he was told not to yell, much like any other bratty teenager would. He slowly, with Negan’s help, stumbled forward. “I’m good,” he stammered, walking with him to the elevator. He reached out clicking the button smiling. “I like the buttons. Like the lights.” He giggled smiling continuously poking at it liking the little beep it made when he pressed down on it. “But like, we can like, try, but like, she's probably better off dead.” He laughed. “Dead, dead, dead,” he repeated. He was saying a lot more dark things now that the drugs were leaving his system.

Negan batted Carl’s hand away from the elevator button. That was why Negan never had kids. Well, that was a lie. Negan loved kids, and there was one main reason he never had them, but Carl’s obnoxiousness was  _ definitely _ irking him. When the doors opened, he pulled Carl in and pressed the button for the floor they needed, keeping Carl away from the floor buttons. Carl whined as Negan pulled him away from the buttons.

“Don’t say that, Carl. Your sister will be better off alive and with you.” He grabbed Carl’s chin gently and tilted his head up to lock his eyes onto Carl’s one. “I made you a promise, and I plan on keeping it. We are getting her.”

Suddenly, a wave of chilling sobriety shook Carl as the man took a firm grip on his chin, making him look up at him. It was a hell of a lot more than a tingle down his spine when he held him. “She may be, but I’m not. I’m just here until she doesn’t need me anymore. Then, I wanna be with my mom,” he said, reaching up, grabbing Negan’s wrist, holding it on instinct, to protect himself. Much like he did the night before when he was choking him. Now he rested his hand on his wrist a lot more gently. Like he was just trying to feel his warmth and warm up his hands.

Negan felt himself shiver, whether at Carl’s words or his touch he wasn’t sure. “Carl, she will always need you. And one day, some very long and far away day, you will see your mother again.” He moved his hand slowly from Carl’s chin to cup his cheek instead. God, his skin was so soft and Negan couldn’t get enough of it. “But right now, that mentality isn’t going to help.  _ I _ need you to be ready to give your all for this, and  _ I _ need you to come out alive on the other side.” Negan found himself subconsciously leaning closer to Carl as he hovered over him and pulled himself back an inch. “Got it?”

Carl whined a little as the man gave him his speech and leaned closer to his body. “Yes, Sir,” he whispered up at him. “I promise to try,” he said looking into his eyes, shaking a bit in his arms.

That’s when the elevator doors opened.

“This is my fourth time in an elevator,” he said smiling up at him before turning around and trying to walk out of the elevator by himself without Negan, stumbling still not fully stable on his own.

Negan snorted and reached out, catching the boy before he fell on his face. He wrapped his arm around the younger’s waist again.

“Careful now,” he said. He helped Carl walk, whether he liked it or not, until they reached the large oak doors of the meeting room. “Alright, stand up straight. Let me do the talking unless you are asked a specific question, got it?” Negan didn’t wait for an answer as he pushed against the doors, swinging them wide open.

“Hello, hello! How is everyone doing?” The doors opened to a large meeting room with a long table going down the middle of it. Ezekiel sat on one side and Maggie across from him. The head of the table was open and had two chairs. Negan moved towards that spot with Carl in tow.

“Negan,” Maggie greeted with a nod, taking a sip from her mug of coffee Dwight had provided them with. She raised an eyebrow at the teen that had come in with him. Kid looked pretty worse for wear.

“Good afternoon, Negan.” Ezekiel smiled at the two as they came in, hiding his concern for the younger of the two men pretty well as the long haired boy made his way to the chair, basically plopping down on it inside of just sitting.

“What is your name, young soldier?” Ezekiel asked turning his attention to the boy, who could barely held himself up, his arms pushing against the table.

“Carl,” he said looking at him with his one eye, his hair falling away from his face to reveal the socket that wasn’t covered up.

“Nice to meet you. Hopefully my people and I can be of service to you,” Ezekiel said.

Maggie sucked in a sharp breath when Carl answered Ezekiel, and she caught sight of the mangled side of his face, flashing a look to Negan of ‘what is going on’.

Negan helped push Carl’s chair in closer to the table so he could lean on it easier, before taking his own seat. He caught Maggie’s look and gave her one of his own.

“Thank you for joining me today, friends. I have quite the proposition for you and I am glad you answered my call.” He grinned, his teeth gleaming.

“Of course it will depend on what it is you need,” Ezekiel said looking between the boy and Negan. 

Carl was sitting up now, looking a bit less out if it than before. “We need help with my sister,” Carl said firmly although very vaguely. Reaching up to push his hair behind his ear. Ezekiel looked confused now, looking up at Negan for more context, piecing together the boy was drugged.

“Why exactly were we called here, Negan?” Maggie asked, leaning forward, eyebrows furrowing. “And… who is this?” She gestured towards Carl, though not asking the obvious ‘why is he drugged’ question that was hanging out in the air.

Negan sighed and stood up, leaning back on his heels. “This is Rick’s son. You know, Rick Grimes?” He pointed at Carl, looking between the other two. Maggie raised an eyebrow at him. “This kid got this close,” he held up his thumb and pointer finger barely an inch apart from each other. “To putting a bullet in my head on his father’s orders.”

“I’m surprised he’s still alive,” Maggie mumbled as she took another drink from her coffee.

“I promised to help him rescue his little sister from his father.” Maggie almost spit her coffee out, looking at Negan like he was crazy. “And, I need your help to do so.” Ok, he was definitely crazy.

“Negan… not to be rude, but this man,” Ezekiel now used the word man because men kill, not children. “This man tried to kill you, why in the world are you trying to help him? His father killed two of my workers as well as sending me tapes of him torturing three of my zoo animals for hours on end. Why in the world would you think I’d want to help his son?!” Ezekiel started to get louder as he grew angrier, thinking of everything that the Grimes man had done to him.

Carl just looked at him. “And how do you think it was fucking living with him you bastard!” He blew up, hitting the table with his fist as he ground his teeth.

Negan placed a soft hand on the top of Carl’s head, shushing him quietly. He looked from Ezekiel to Maggie who glared at him with hot coals. Negan knew what Rick had put her and family through as well, but that was why he chose them. Well, that and because they both had the next top fighters compared to him and Rick. But, that history is what Negan needed. He needed that anger they held for Rick. He needed them to harness that and come together so they could take him down together. 

He looked at Ezekiel. “Carl is not like his father. He was acting on orders, just as many of us have done and will do again.” He looked to Maggie who looked into her coffee, scowl on her face. “I made him a promise, Ezekiel, and you know I don’t break my promises, but I can’t fulfill it alone. None of us could. If we want any chance of taking Rick down we need to band together and fight as one.”

Maggie scoffed. “That’s been done before, you know that. They barely got through the front gate.”

Negan smirked and ran his fingers through Carl’s hair, “That’s why we have  _ him _ .”

Ezekiel suddenly froze. “You’re the boy. You were the boy in the back of the tapes. You’re head was bleeding, your chest, how are you- your that kid!” Ezekiel gasped, jaw dropping, eyes wide in shock.

“Tapes? What ones? My dad makes a lot,” Carl said, pushing his head into Negan’s hand, he loved affection.

“The one with my otters,” Ezekiel said.

Carl lit up smiling. “Oh my god, Jasper and Casey? Oh my god, I loved them so much,” Carl said before his face fell. “Yeah...Dad, he took them away after a few days...” He pouted.

“He skinned my otters alive!” Ezekiel yelled.

“Well they were mine too!” Carl yelled back.

Negan ran his fingers through Carl’s hair, shushing him again and giving a look to Ezekiel that said ‘I want to talk to you about that later’. God, that man was a monster.

“Look,” Maggie spoke up, giving Ezekiel a look. “Rick has taken a lot from  _ all _ of us, and we’d all like to see him dead and his empire in shambles, but why now? Why is this so urgent?” She watched Negan play with Carl’s hair, and the way the kid leaned into his touch. Was there something more going on there or was the kid just high and not aware?

“We’ve only got two days before Rick kills Carl’s  _ baby _ sister,” Negan deadpanned. Maggie sucked in a breath, her grip tightening on her mug.

“Well, she’s like three.” Carl giggled and smiled up at Negan. He really was like a lost puppy, snuggling up to his human, craving a desperate internal desire for love and affection every human, animal and child on this planet had. He was just looking up at him smiling like a dork before saying one more thing. “Her name is Judy. Dad let me name her.” He smiled.

Ezekiel was taken back by what Negan had said about the child. “That truly is horrible Negan but how do we know this isn’t just some elaborate trap to get us to storm in there and then have all of us in one spot to kill us? What if this boy is a spy?” he said and looked at Carl’s sweatshirt that he had put back on after the examination. “What the hell is in the kid’s pocket?” Ezekiel asked, looking at it as Carl quickly put his hand over his pocket, beginning to sweat nervously. He let out a small whine that only Negan could hear, as he was called out by the other man.

Maggie tried to lean to the side and see if she could see what Ezekiel saw, but she was just not in the right spot, so instead she scooted away about a foot just in case.

Negan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “What?” He looked down at Carl, heartbreaking at the whine he let out. “Carl, what is it? What do you have?” He moved from behind Carl to next to him, kneeling down. He could see the shape of something in Carl’s pocket even though he was trying to cover it up. He frowned. “Carl, show me what you have,” he said very clear but not harshly. He had a suspicion of what it might be, but he wasn’t mad and he didn’t want to Carl to think he was.

Maggie watched Negan drop to his knee with no hesitation with wide eyes. The kid could and probably did have a weapon in his pocket, and Negan just put himself in the most vulnerable position. She flashed a look at Ezekiel like ‘are you seeing what I’m seeing’.

Ezekiel let his eyes wander to Maggie’s, just to see her staring back at him with the same unbelievable look at Negan’s actions.

Carl held onto it, his hand shaking and his knuckles turning white. His look was almost like last night, frightened but determined. “It’s mine, you don’t get to take it,” he said looking at him with a frown. Firstly, because he knew Negan would try and take it from him and secondly, because all he wanted was Negan to pet his head again. Rick used to do that sometimes if he was really good that day and he missed that. His hand weaved into his pocket, holding Negan’s grooming scissors tightly, not wanting to let go of what he viewed as his only protection right now.

Negan frowned. “Did I say I wanted you to give it to me, Carl?” he said, trying to keep his tone even. “I said show it to me. You can keep whatever it is, but I want to know what you’ve got. Please?” It was definitely a weapon of some sort. Something he must of picked up in the infirmary or perhaps even the guest bedroom. Negan couldn’t remember what was left in those drawers. Yet, even knowing this, he felt no fear being in his position. If Carl had wanted to hurt him, he’d have done it already. Negan lightly touched Carl’s leg with his a finger, drawing small circles, gazing up at the boy. “Please show me?”

Maggie wanted to scoot closer again to see what exactly was going on, but she was afraid one wrong move would set the boy off. She hadn’t known him long enough to know how he reacted to things and she was not about to get someone hurt for something as dumb as curiosity.

Carl whined just a little louder this time. He felt like he was going to be sick again. He wasn’t used to this. He wasn’t used to compassion and care. He was used to fear, force and violence. His mouth twitched a little before his grip loosened on the trimming scissors and he used his left hand to take them out of his pocket to show to Negan.

He held it there, trembling a bit, the sharp steel scissors had been broken into two pieces so he could use them like knives but he only held one of two pieces in his hand. He looked down watching Negan touch his leg.

Ezekiel gave Maggie a look saying, ‘There is definitely more between these two.’

Negan examined the half of the scissors that Carl held out to him. How he had not realized those were there the entire time was beyond him. He wasn’t stupid though, he knew the other half was still in Carl’s pocket, but Negan reached up and cupped Carl’s cheek in his hand, running his thumb under Carl’s eye.

Carl quickly leaned into the touch and practically purred when his cheek was caressed. He nodded softly at the mans words. It wasn’t that bad, he was fine, everything was fine. Everything would be fine. 

“See now. That wasn’t so hard. Thank you.” He smiled at Carl before standing and taking his position behind him again, placing his hands softly on the boy’s shoulders and massaging them gently. Negan knew Carl craved his touch, especially with the drugs still in his system, and he felt bad about exploiting that fact, but if kept him calm and happy, he’d be happy to touch Carl as much as he wanted. Carl melted into the man's touch as he massaged his shoulders. 

“To answer your question, he has scissors in his pocket,” Negan spoke to Ezekiel. “No different than the pocket knife that I carry on my person at all times, and I’m sure you’ve got your own too.”

Maggie subconsciously put her hand on the butterfly knife that she kept in her belt loop. She scooted her chair back to its original place and sighed. She wanted to trust this kid, but she was still on the fence. It was true, Negan never broke a promise, and because of that he didn’t make them lightly. What had made him trust this kid enough to give away his word?

“Again, I wanna help, but what if it's a trap? How do we now its not a trap?” Ezekiel said, watching the two interact. Usually Negan seemed like a predatory animal surrounded by prey but with Carl the dynamic was so different, and Ezekiel had never seen that side of Negan before.

Maggie felt her heart ache at the sight of Negan being so soft. She had no idea he had that in him. He was usually all teeth and hair and debonair. And Carl certainly hadn’t stabbed him with those scissors so the trust was going both ways, but she still nodded to Ezekiel’s question.

Negan sighed. “I guess I can’t tell you for sure that it’s not a trap,” he shrugged, never stopping his hands working on Carl’s shoulders. “But I trust Carl, and if you don’t trust him, then trust me, or tell me what I can do to convince you. We have two days. We could send in a few recon men to scope things out before we go. But know this, even if you don’t wish to help me, I will be going.”

Maggie hummed and looked at Ezekiel. “Thoughts?”

Ezekiel was looking at him, before looking at Maggie. “Well, there isn’t anything I guess. I’ll have my suspicions until it happens. I don’t think I could live with myself if I knowingly let a little girl die so....I’m in.”

Maggie nodded at Ezekiel’s words. There was no way she could risk the life of a child on the off chance that this wasn’t a trap. “I’m in too.”

“How many men do you need?” Ezekiel asked looking at the the kid as he spoke to Negan.

Carl leaned down and rubbed his cheek against Negan’s strong hands as they rubbed against his shoulders.

“We need the boy to draw us a map too.”

“I can do that,” he muttered out. “Just need a little time,” Carl promised.

Negan nodded to both of them. “I’m not sure what we’ll need. How many can you give me?” He looked down at Carl. “Carl, can you give us an estimate of what we’ll need?” Negan should really explain to the others  _ why _ Carl was out of it. He knew they could tell. He knew they were watching his every move. This really wasn’t a state he’d ever wanted to see Carl in, but it was what it was and he was dealing with it. “Or would you like to rest for a bit and come back to this?” He was less concerned about making the others wait now that they knew the situation.

“Negan,” Maggie leaned towards him, lowering her voice. “Why is the boy drugged?” she asked outright.

Negan sighed, trailing his hands up the back of Carl’s head and threading his fingers through his soft hair as he let them fall back down. “He had a bit of a panic attack in the infirmary right before you got here. We gave him something to calm his nerves, and it has yet to fully run its course.” God, his hair was soft. “He should be alright in about half an hour, if you would be ok waiting?”

Maggie hummed and leaned back in her chair, casting a glance to Ezekiel.

“I can wait until he’s sobered up a bit,” Ezekiel said, he didn’t mind giving the kid time if it meant he could give clear answers.

“Wha-,” Carl looked up at Negan as his hair was played with. He loved getting pet. “No, I’m fine.” He pouted a bit. “I’m just a bit sleepy. I don’t wanna leave unless you’ll not stop it,” he said, by ‘it’ he meant Negan playing with his hair. He did not want it to stop. It was keeping him calm and collected and just relaxed.

Ezekiel gave Maggie and Negan a look when the kid spoke. The kid was attached to Negan like a dog to its master and it was extremely unsettling. Ezekiel shifted in his chair watching what Negan would do next.

Negan sighed. He knew the drugs were heightening Carl’s sensations and lowering his inhibitions and Negan felt bad. He felt like he was taking advantage of a drunk person. But he didn’t know if Carl was still going to be this attached or trusting of him with the drugs finally left his system, so he had to use it as much as he could. Negan was just so afraid for Carl and wanted this all over with already.

But he couldn’t show that.

“Come on, Carl. I want you to take a nap and then we can come back, ok?” He bent down to wrap an arm around Carl and help him stand, leaning in so his mouth was by his ear. “I’ll be there the whole time.”

Maggie took another sip of her coffee. Perhaps when the kid was sober they’d see the Negan they were used to. It was possible he was just giving into the boy to keep him calm. Though she wanted to know what Ezekiel thought and was almost grateful Negan was leaving.

Carl nodded and smiled a bit as Negan helped him to stand. “And like, I still want nuggets,” he said, very hungry since he threw up all his food from breakfast before he was drugged. He got up on shifty legs and walked out into the hallway, still a bit stumbly and unbalanced but with Negan’s support he would be fine. “You know like I gotta go, like right now, Judith, she like would need the straw or something,” Carl said sounding worried.

Negan chuckled at Carl’s request but frowned at his other words. He just wanted to get him in a bed stat. “I’ll let you eat after you wake up, alright? And, you know what…” Negan turned and hooked an arm under Carl’s legs, picking him up bridal style. “This will be faster.” With that, he made his way down the hallway to the elevator, pressing the button for the top floor.

“Really? Yay!” Carl giggled but yelped when he was picked up. He felt exhausted. He wrapped his arms around Negan. “Am I a virgin?” He asked and rested his head on Negan’s chest, while he snuggled up to it, trying to listen to the mans breathing and heartbeat. He liked it.

Negan breathed a heavy sigh out of his nose. “I sure hope so, kid.” He answered softly, knowing that the truth was probably not what he wanted to hear.

“I do too,” Carl said and clung to him like a baby sloth. “But, I don’t know what counts. Mom and daddy said different things.”

Negan didn’t want to know what Carl’s father had told him about sex, but he knew it was nothing good. That was not a subject he was about to have with him drugged out though.

The elevator dinged as it reached the guest room floor and he made his way to the same room Carl was in last night. He walked in and shut the door behind him with his foot, heading straight for the bed. He detached Carl’s arms from around him as he laid him down gently on top of the blankets. He placed a hand on the boy’s cheek and rubbed the soft skin under his good eye with his thumb. This boy was beautiful and it sickened him that there were people who could even think to harm him. “Get some rest now.”

Carl sneezed a bit into Negan’s shoulder before he could pry him off. “But you have to stay and pet my head,” he said and looked up at him with puppy dog eyes, “And even if I sleep, you can’t leave.” He whimpered.

“I know, kid. I’m not leaving. Just, give me a second…” He had to do this before he talked himself out of it. He pulled away from Carl and toed his shoes off. Slipping out of his leather jacket, he hung it on the back of a nearby chair. He walked around to the other side of the bed and took a deep breath, letting it out slow. Climbing up onto the bed, he readjusted some of the pillows, laying down with his head propped up. He opened his arms, motioning for Carl. “C’mere, kid.”

Carl smiled a bit and scooted closer to him, putting his head on his chest. “Sometimes when I was really good, dad would pet my head. But, not after I killed mom,” he said, cuddling closer. “Pet my head and tell me I’m a good kid.” He sniffled, clearly getting upset. The drugs were starting to wear off and his giggly happy phase was the first to go. 

Negan wrapped his arms around him. God, he was so skinny. “Sshh, you’re a great kid, Carl. No doubt about it,” he said softly, bringing one hand up to pet along Carl’s head and thread his fingers through his long hair. “I’m so sorry that your father can’t see that. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to live through so much shit.” He nuzzled Carl’s head with his chin, pulling him closer. “You’re a good kid, Carl. A good, good kid.” He tilted his head down to place a soft kiss on the crown of Carl’s head before leaning back again, his hand never stopping it’s movements through his hair. God. What had he gotten himself involved in?

Carl just listened to the mans words as he felt his throat choke up. He felt the prick on the back of his eye and he couldn’t take it anymore. He began crying. He was quiet but his body shook his waves against Negan’s arms. He needed to hear this.

Negan just held Carl through his tears, stroking his hair gently. After a few minutes, he was done. He slowly stopped crying and fell asleep listening to the man's heartbeat and breathing. Negan only relaxed once he knew the boy was asleep. He wouldn’t have the heart to actually wake him up in half an hour if he was still asleep, but who knew how long he’d be out.

Carefully, Negan reached into his pocket and got his cell phone. He sent a quick text to Dwight. ‘Hey, if I’m not back in the meeting room in 45 mins, give guests rooms to stay in. I’m in 2B with Carl. Do not disturb.’

“Yes Sir.” Dwight texted back. 

 

...

Once Negan and Carl had left Ezekiel looked at Maggie. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” he asked watching as the door swung itself shut as the pair exited out of the conference room. He reached out and grabbed some water for himself. 

Maggie hummed. “That depends on what you’re thinking, Zeke. I’m thinking a lot of things, and I’m not sure what to believe. Like, was that really  _ Negan _ ?” She pointed towards the door they had just walked out of. “Because I have  _ never _ seen that man act like that.”

“I think he’s - going to have relations with that boy.” He paused mid sentence so he didn’t flat out say fuck the boy. “He’s grooming him, I can tell that. It’s definitely Negan, but he has a plan of something,” he explained. “Oh yeah, I haven’t seen you in a while, I’m sorry about your husband's passing, my condolences.” Ezekiel reached across the table to cup Maggie's hands in his.

Maggie smiled sadly and squeezed Ezekiel’s hands. “Thank you, Zeke. It’s been hard, but we’re all getting through it.” Her smile faded as she thought about his words though. “See, I thought that at first, but I think we need to see what the kid is like without drugs in him. It just… it seems like  _ so much _ for Negan to go through if all he wants is a new, pardon my langauge, fucktoy.” She cocked her head to the side, eyebrows furrowing. “Why would he put himself in the danger of an all out war over this boy and his sister?”

Ezekiel shrugged. “I think it’s more then fucking too, but I’m not sure for what yet. Maybe to be an apprentice? Maybe a secret fighter? Negan’s personal Trojan horse? But the kid is just so damn scrawny, I don’t think he could fight that well?” Ezekiel was thinking out loud at this point, trying to rationalize this odd behavior Negan was presenting.

Maggie shrugged. “He said the kid almost killed him. Do you know how many  _ grown adults _ have tried that and failed so quickly?” She shook her head, tapping her chin. He had to be important to Negan somehow. “Maybe we mistook  _ paternal _ feelings for lust? He could see him as his own child?” She offered the idea, not sure if she really believed it herself.

“Negan was a high school teacher for many years. He does have some parenting capabilities, but after Lucille I thought he was done thinking about kids for sure,” he said. “But that could be it. What do you think the kid’s deal is? What do you think happened to his eye?” he asked.

Maggie nodded. She knew of Negan’s past, and knew of Lucille and of the grief that had stricken them. She scoffed at Ezekiel’s question. “His  _ deal _ is that his father is fuckin’ Rick Grimes. I’m surprised the kid is alive and not a little serial killer.” She pinched the bridge of her nose, taking in a deep breath. “And I don’t even want to know what happened to his eye, but I have a feeling his father is to blame.” She dropped her hands. “What did you mean about him being the kid in the tapes? What was that?”

“No, I meant with Negan. He seemed like he really liked him,” he tried to explain before shaking his head. “Never mind that,” he sighed before going on to explain about the tapes.

“Rick had sent me tapes, like home movies. He filmed himself skinning or torturing all my animals and there was a kid in the background, and I think that kid was the boy, what's his name again?” He tried to think. “Carl, yes. I think it was Carl.”

Maggie realized her misunderstanding, but fell silent as Ezekiel explained. She nodded. “Yeah, Carl. But you said he was bleeding? Was he also being hurt in the videos?” She felt her stomach tie in knots. People who could hurt children and animals were not people. They were monsters. “Also, I am so sorry that he did that to you.” She reached out to pat his hand this time. She thought receiving a body part in the mail had been horrible, but she had been spared a video of the event.

“Thank you, but I’ve grown since. I know the animals are in heaven with Shiva and the others now,” he said looking down. “Yeah, but he was hurt before the video started. His face was covered in blood and so was his pants,” he said. He had tried really hard to forget those images but they still lasted in his unconscious mind. “He was hanging off the floor from his wrists. I think his dad wanted him to see him kill my otters.”

Maggie shook her head in disbelief. “What a monster.”

...

“Is Negan coming back? It’s been more than half an hour,” Maggie asked as soon as Dwight came through the double doors. The man shook his head.

“Negan is caught up. I’ve been told to offer you two guest rooms if you wish to stay until further planning can be done,” Dwight explained.

Maggie looked at Ezekiel and shrugged. “I’ve got nowhere to be. Might as well. I hear this place has amazing room service.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl wakes up to a surprise in his bed, gets his punishment, and eats nuggets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a roleplay written by myself and [matthew-the-neko-boy](https://matthew-the-neko-boy.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. In this chapter, I'm Negan and Matt is Carl.
> 
> Checkout this moodboard I made for this a while back when it was still just a roleplay: [[xxx](https://ranebowstitches.tumblr.com/post/171709991567/i-tried-to-kill-you-end-of-story-yeah-you)]
> 
> Thank you everyone for reading! I'm trying to get the chapters edited and uploaded pretty quickly, which I know y'all appreciate~ Thank you for all the comments too! We love seeing them. They brighten my inbox every time~

Carl was out for another two hours before slowly opening his eyes. Everything looked blurry through his thick lashes. His head hurt a bit. “Where the fuck-,” he coughed a little whining since his throat was still sore, “-am I?” He looked around. He saw Negan in bed with him and his stomach flipped. His breath caught in his throat and his heart began to race. “What the hell did you do to me!” he screamed, grabbing Negan’s shirt looking like he was going to kill someone.

Negan had found himself falling asleep not long after Carl. There wasn’t else much to do and the extra body heat was nice. Needless to say, he was awoken quite suddenly.

“Woah! Woah!” He threw his hands up in surrender, looking up at the frightened boy above him. God, he was in such a vulnerable position right now, and this Carl was a lot more dangerous than the one that he had fallen asleep with. “Kid! Carl! Calm down! I didn’t do anything to you! Think it through. What do you remember?”

“You fucking drugged me! That’s what I fucking remember!” he screamed. “What the hell happened?!” He shook Negan harder. He was trembling himself. “I fucking trusted you and you drugged me!” he yelled, his voice cracking near the end. His nose started to twitch up with his cheek uncontrollably. He was so angry he felt like he could rip a dictionary in half. “If you fucking touched me it better be counting as the other half my fucking punishment! You hear me!” he screamed. A little bit a blood dripped from his nose. He was so angry that he literally made a blood vessel burst in his own god damn head from his heart beating so fast.

Negan glared and sat up easily, despite Carl’s hands still balled in his shirt. He tried to loom over the boy as much as he could with them both sitting on the bed. “You think I’d fucking do that?” he said in a flat but icy voice. “You think I’d fucking drug you in order to take advantage of you? I don’t know who the fuck you think I am, but I am not a rapist.” He wanted to add ‘like your father’ on the end but thought better of it.

“Kid, I have done nothing but /help/ you since you got here. Yeah, maybe the drugs weren’t the best idea, but you were having a panic attack and I was trying to assess your fucking injuries.” His voice never rose in volume, staying the same serious tone the entire time. He was pissed, but he knew the boy was scared and yelling wouldn’t help, but he wasn’t afraid to put him in his place. “So, yeah, I did drug you, but I didn’t touch you. Sorry for trying to fucking help you. You still owe me the other half of the fucking punishment. You. Hear. Me?” he bit out, throwing Carl’s words back at him. He watched the blood drip down from Carl’s nose, fighting back the urge to reach out and wipe it off. Carl would bite his fingers off if he did.

Carl slowly let himself calm down, his breath beginning to level out. He knew for sure Negan didn’t hurt him. He still didn’t know why Negan would sleep with him though. That was the strangest part of all this.

He fell back on his heels, breathing out. “Sorry,” he barely muttered and his pulse went down he felt the blood hit his mouth and he quickly reached up to wipe it. He looked at the blood on his hand and fought back a smile as he wiped it off onto his jeans.

Negan held himself steady until Carl relaxed, letting the tension slide out of his own body too. Fuck, what a wake up. “It’s alright. I know you’re scared and stressed,” he sighed, watching Carl wipe at his nose. He had missed a little bit that had dripped to his chin. Negan’s eyes focused on it before flicking back up to Carl’s one.

“Can I know what the punishment is? I like to prepare myself before, get it straight in my head, so I don’t go into shock afterwards. That happens sometimes,” Carl said anxiously, not getting off the man, not knowing where to be or how to be or what to do at this point.

“Didn’t I tell _you_ to think of the punishment? What would you like it to be? And hell, you should be glad I’m not adding to it for you having those damn scissors in your pocket.” There was a split second of regret as Negan mentioned the scissors, but he shrugged it off. His gaze flickered to the little spot on blood on Carl’s chin again.

Carl tried to think. He hated this. Thinking about his own punishment. He didn’t wanna ruin his face more, or his hands because he needed those. “How about you get four of my toes? And you can stab me four times,” he said, not sure if it was enough. He had no idea Negan’s system of punishment. “Or four days without food?” he said not sure what to do. He began getting off the man's lap and sat on the opposite corner of the bed, avoiding the man's eyes. He didn’t really want to look at him. “But, it has to be done before we get Judith because she can’t see any of that. I don’t want her to be scared if she sees me and I’m like, messed up or whatever.” He laughed a bit awkwardly.

“Jesus,” Negan breathed out. Here he was thinking he was being merciful letting Carl chose his own punishment and the kid just goes straight for losing body parts. “No, kid. I don’t- I don’t want to physically hurt you in anyway.” He shifted, moving to sit cross legged on the bed and face Carl better. He racked his brain for something to make the kid do. He honestly figured he’d use the “punishment” to get some info out of him, but he was willing to help them get into Rick’s place, so he needed something else.

Carl shook his head no. No way. He couldn’t deal with psychological shit. The only thing he could think of was taking away Judith and that was not happening. “No, that’s not happening,” he said. “I don’t wanna do that shit. No more, I can’t do it anymore, fuck no!” He glared at him. He thought about being stuck in the white room. He still had nightmares about it and sometime he saw things. “Can’t we just do the four days no food, or a four day lock up, or four days no sleep?” he asked and scratched his fingers again to pick at them. “I don't know what you want from me,” he said looking up at him, his face was harder but his eyes still held that look they did like when he was drugged. “I mean, I already see a fucking monster whenever I look in the mirror so I don’t think you can really do anything that would scare me,” he said. He didn’t want to sound like he was chicken or something.

Negan ran his hands down his face. Fucking shit. What had Rick done to this poor kid? Well, Negan knew a little of what he’d done but, god, the rest is unimaginable. “No, that’s still not what I-,” he growled but it turned into a sigh. He needed to think of something simple. Something that was slightly demeaning but not harmful in anyway. He looked at the kid again, gaze caught by that drop of crimson on his chin. Then, it flickered up to his beautifully shaped mouth. Then, Negan had an idea.

“Alright, kid, I know what it’s gonna be,” he stated suddenly. A wolffish smirk spread over his face. Yes, this just might work. He patted the empty bed space in front of him. “I want you to come right up here, I want you to look at me, and I want you sing me a song.”

“A song?” Carl cocked his head to the side, eyebrow raised like a confused puppy. He made his way back over to Negan, feeling a bit better, his stomach settling down. He sat criss cross, at the foot of the bed in front of the older man. “Are you sure this is what you want? I don’t think I remember any,” he said looking up at him. “How many songs? I don’t really sing…” He brushed his hair out of his eye as he felt his stomach bubble a bit. His stomach was quiet but he could feel it growling.

Negan was honestly surprised that Carl had come closer to him just like that. He was glad to see that his trust in him wasn’t entirely broken. “Just one song is fine. Any song,” he waved his hand in the air nonchalantly. “Didn’t your mom sing you bedtime songs or anything?”

Having Carl closer also allowed for Negan to lick his thumb and reach out, swiping it along the blood on Carl’s chin, effectively cleaning it off. Finally. That had bugged him way too much. He looked at the blood on his thumb before wiping it on his own jeans. “Sorry, you still had blood on ya…” he explained.

Carl nodded a bit thinking of a song. He flinched back a bit when Negan first reached out his hand to get the blood of but afterwards he muttered a quiet thank you before going back to thinking.

“Are you sure, I’m not a very good singer...” he muttered nervously as he shifted his weight on his knees back and forth. He couldn’t remember a lot but he new the sunshine song because he sang it to Judy since mom wasn’t there to do it.

“How about ‘you are my sunshine’?” he asked.

Negan nodded. “That’ll be just fine,” he said, leaning towards Carl. He couldn’t stop the smirk from forming across his face, teeth gleaming in the low light of the room. Oh, this’ll be fun. He was excited about this! “You may start whenever.”

Carl cleared his voice, picking at his nails anxiously. He sighed, wetting his lips before beginning. “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away.” He sang the whole song and then looked back up at Negan when it was over. He felt uncomfortable. His voice was soft and angelic unlike his normal panicked strained voice.

Negan smiled as he listened and watched the boy sing. His voice was beautiful and Negan had the need to hear more of it. When Carl finished and looked up at him, Negan smirked at him. “That was good, kid. I really enjoyed that,” he reached out and hooked his finger under Carl’s chin, pulling him closer just a centimeter.

“But, I told you I wanted you to look at me while you sang.” Negan had let Carl finish the song while staring down at his hands, thinking maybe at some point he’d remember Negan’s second stipulation, but obviously he didn’t. “Sing me the first verse again, right here.” He tapped Carl’s chin with the finger that was hooked under it, making him look up.

Carl blushed a lot, his nose and cheeks turning a light pink. He didn’t try to pull away from Negan but he couldn't bring himself to pull himself closer to the man.

“ _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine._

_You make me happy when skies are gray._

_You’ll never know dear how much I love you._

_Please don’t take my sunshine away._ ”

Negan grinned, biting his bottom lip as his gaze flickered from Carl’s singing lips to Carl’s eye that was trained on _him_. God, that was so amazing. Negan pulled the boy a little closer and felt himself leaning in closer. “Fantastic,” he breathed when Carl had finished singing. The tip of his nose bumped Carl’s and he realized just how close they had gotten. Negan froze but didn’t pull away. “You have a beautiful voice,” he purred, his eyes locked on Carl’s one.

Carl let out a small whimper as he was pulled closer until his button nose bumped against Negan’s. He breathed out shakily. “Thank you, Sir.” He didn’t pull away either. Half because he liked the feeling of being this close to him and the other because he didn’t want to upset the man until he got Judith back.

Negan felt a shiver run up his spine. He wanted to lean in so much. He wanted so badly to capture those plump lips in his and bite on them till they turned red. God, he wanted it so much he could feel a slight tremble in his hand.

But he couldn’t. God, he couldn’t. Carl would never trust him again. He suddenly felt bad in his stomach. Carl had thought Negan had betrayed his trust already when he drugged him, and though it was true Negan hadn’t _touched_ him, the hand resting under the boy’s chin reminded him that he still did touch him.

Negan sighed, his breath blowing over Carl’s face, and backed up a couple inches. “I’m sorry, kid,” he said with a small grimace. He dropped his hand from under Carl’s chin, instead cupping his cheek softly. “I lied to you a little bit earlier, Carl. I said I didn’t touch you while you were drugged, and I did _not_ violate you, but I did touch you. Only things like this though,” he ran his thumb gently over Carl’s cheek, tracing under his eye. “You were… insistent. It calmed you.” Negan bit his bottom lip. He had the balls to look guilty because he was. He only hoped Carl understood.

Carl didn’t know why but he just melted into the man’s hand when it shifted to touched his cheek. For a few moments he nuzzled up against the hand before listening to the man’s words. His heart almost stopped when he said he lied and he did touch him. But once he explained himself he felt better.

He cleared his throat, “It-It’s fine. That’s different. Sorry about that,” he said, pulling away from the man’s hand. How stupid could he be. ‘I must have looked like a stupid dog.’ He thought to himself. “It won’t happen again,” he said, sitting up straight and firm. Clearly he did want it but his pride and self control told him no.

Negan almost groaned in disappointment when Carl pulled away, but he kept himself in check. He let his hand fall to his own lap and cocked his head at Carl. “It’s alright. You don’t need to be sorry about it,” he scoffed slightly. “It’s not your fault.”

Negan hummed and dug his phone out of his pocket to look at the time. Shit, they’d been asleep a while. He hoped Ezekiel and Maggie had chosen to stay here instead of go home. He should send word that they could meet up again soon. He opened a new text message to Dwight, planning on telling him to reconvene the meeting, when his stomach growled quietly. He suddenly remembered Carl’s doing the same earlier. ‘Send a lunch cart to 2B, make sure there’s extra chicken nuggets’ his text to Dwight said. He put his phone back in his pocket and looked at Carl. “Food’ll be here soon.”

Carl nodded softly, his own stomach making noise again. He wasn’t used to his stomach making noise because on the eighteenth hour of not having food it stops because the body knows its starving and food won't come soon so it needs to stop doing things that waste energy, like growling. “I don’t like when it does that,” Carl muttered, looking down at it as it did it again. It had a taste of food so now that it knows it can get food, it’s not gonna shut up.

“So, what did the doctor say about my eye? Is it better now?” he asked not really knowing how the doctors worked, thinking maybe there was a magic pill and then he’d be all better. “It feels a little better but I still have a headache,” he added.

Negan ran his tongue along his bottom lip and nodded. Oh shit. Should he tell Carl that they know what exactly happened with that wound? Did Carl know or was he drugged during it? Negan hummed. “Yeah, she said it’s healing just fine. I’ve got a pill that your supposed to take once a day to help with the healing and any pain you have. I’ll let you have it when you’ve got some food in you.” He felt the bottle in his pocket, making sure it was still there. “You’ve also got some bones that didn’t heal quite right,” he explained. “Those will need to be rebroken and rehealed at some point before they start causing problems for you.”

He nodded a bit, grateful for something to help with the pain. “Wait, you’re gonna break my elbows? No, no, no, not happening. I’m fucking fine okay. Thanks for everything else but I’m not letting you re-break everything,” he said. If they did it all at once that might be way to much for him to deal with. “I just wanna get Judith, okay? I don’t need more shit to be drugged up over,” he muttered out the complaint.

Negan nodded, understandingly. He wasn’t expecting Carl to _love_ the idea. “I know, I know. It doesn’t have to be anytime soon. Just, think about it, ok? We won’t do it without your sober permission. I promise.” Negan crossed his heart with his finger. He really regretted drugging Carl in the first place, and didn’t want to have to do it again unless it was extremely necessary.

He nodded. “Thanks. It’s appreciated,” he said. He only could think of his dad. “Father knows best,” he mumbled to himself, shaking his his head no.

There was a knock at the door that made Negan look over. “Come in.” A waiter slowly pushed the door open and wheeled in the same kind of shiny cart that all the food came on. He quickly ducked out once he had done his job.

Negan got off the bed and walked to the cart, lifting the cover on the two plates that rested on it. One plate was overflowing with chicken nuggets. The other held bowls of corn and carrots. The second level of the cart held ketchup and mustard and mayo and a pitcher of water along with glasses and extra plates. Negan picked up a nugget and popped it directly into his mouth. “Mmm,” he moaned. He hadn’t had these in ages. He looked at Carl and motioned for him to come over. “Come eat, Carl.”

Carl was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard his name being called and the smell of nuggets hit him. He looked over and smiled at the cart. He quickly scrambled over to it and grabbed one of the nuggets. He didn’t even ask or wait or watch Negan before he started to eat, unlike how he was at breakfast. He fucking loved nuggets.

“Oh my god, nuggets are my favorite food.” He laughed. “Besides candy. I like candy.” He smiled and ate three more nuggets in that little span of time.

Negan watched Carl inhale the chicken nuggets for a moment before full on belly laughing at the scene. Holy _shit_ that was the funniest thing Negan had seen in awhile. “Kid, kid,” he wheezed between his laughs. “Slow down. You’re gonna choke or throw up!” His laughter subsided into chuckles but the smile stayed on his face. “Jesus. You know, you kept asking me for these while you were drugged. I didn’t realize how much you actually liked them.” Negan popped another into his mouth, grabbing one of the extra plates and scooping some of the veggies onto it. He held it out to Carl. “And please, eat some of these too.”

Carl smiled a bit and sat up, wiping his mouth. “Oh sorry.” He laughed awkwardly with a smile. “Yea, whenever I was good boy dad got me nuggets. So I really, really love chicken nuggets.” He giggled and sat up before taking the veggie plate from him. “Thanks,” he said eating some corn but not eating the carrots. He dipped the nuggets into mayo smiling. “Fucking christ, I love nuggets,” he said sounding like he was talking about porn.

Negan couldn’t get rid of his grin. He was glad Carl was happy and eating. Oh! He needed to give him the medicine. Negan took the pill bottle out of his pocket and popped the lid off, shaking out a pill into his hand. Denise had told him to cut it in half, right? He looked around for something to cut it with. No knives had come with the meal, but there was an extra fork. Negan placed the pill down on the tray and used the edge of the fork in a sawing motion to get it to break in half. He handed one piece to Carl.

“Here, take this.” He poured him a glass of water and held that out to him.

Carl nodded a bit and took the water and the pill without question. “Thanks,” he said taking a sip of water before throwing the pill into his mouth, drinking.

Negan was kind of surprised how quick Carl took the medicine, but it felt nice that he trusted Negan that much despite everything that had happened. “No problem, Carl,” He scooped some carrots onto a plate for himself and started eating them. Mmm, they were his favorite.

“Thanks again,” Carl said motioning to the nuggets. Pieces of memories started to come back from when he was drugged. He stopped eating so fast and his face turned pink again. He told Negan he thought he was handsome, oh my fucking god.

“If you crave anything else, just let me know.” Negan looked up at the boy and noticed that he had stopped inhaling his food, perhaps he was getting full, but there was a light blush over his face. Negan found it cute, but had he said something weird? He didn’t think so. He tilted his head in question. “Is something wrong?”

“U-Uh no, I’m go-I’m fine.” He was clearly flustered, but nevertheless he shook his head trying to get over it. “I-I’m kinda remembering a few bits now, from like when I was drugged,” he said, not making eye contact. “Sorry I was like-like that,” he said awkwardly. He was so uncomfortable it was almost crazy. “I wasn’t thinking right, I’m sorry.” He tried laughing it off.

Negan chuckled, wondering which part he had remembered. There were a few moments that Negan hoped never to forget. “Oh, I don’t know,” He shrugged, chewing on his carrots. “You were kinda cute. Definitely a lot less serious and a lot more fun.” He winked at the boy. “What were you remembering?”

He got super nervous but also a bit hotter when Negan winked. “Really? You weren’t annoyed with me?” He asked blushing, starting to shift around again, feeling a bit embarrassed? He wasn’t sure what this new feeling was. “I called you handsome,” he said before his face dropped completely, remembering what Denise said after that about his eyes. What she had told Negan.

Negan snickered. “Yeah, you you sure did.” Negan glowed remembering that. Sure, he’d been called handsome many many times before, but when Carl had said it, it made something stir in him that he wasn’t sure should be stirring. “And I mean, there were sometimes it was a bit much, but for the most part you were fine.” He shrugged, grabbing another nugget from the pile. He smirked at Carl, but noticed the sudden sullen expression on his face. Negan’s eyebrows cinched. “What are you remembering now?”

“It wasn’t my dad, the thing- in my-,” Carl swallowed down the lump in his throat as his breathing became more erratic. He didn’t even want to say it. He felt sick, it didn’t help he had eaten like fifteen chicken nuggets in five minutes. “My Dad never touched me-like that,” he said a bit more smoothly. “It wasn’t him. He never actually did things. He only said shit.”

“Woah, woah, kid, calm down. I don’t want chicken nugget all over my carpet. Take a drink of water. Breathe.” Negan set his plate down and moved closer to Carl, slightly raising his arms. If the boy became unsteady on his feet, he wanted to be ready to catch him. “Ok, it wasn’t your dad. That only makes him a slightly better person.” Negan said rolling his eyes. “I’m just sorry you had to go through that. No one should have to go through that. If you know who it was, I will personally take it out on them.”

“No its okay, I-I- it wasn’t.” Carl didn’t know what to say, or how. He felt crazy, because he keeps seeing things, hearing it. He squeezed his eyes shut. “I didn’t mean-,” He still couldn’t talk. He took a deep breath. “It could be a lot worse. It’s fine. Everything turned out okay. I’ve seen a lot worse, and I’m glad it was them and not my dad because it’s fine, and I’m fine, and everyone's good. I wasn’t with them for to long anyway,” he said. He had his eyes closed still so he hadn’t realized how bad he was shaking. “My dad doesn’t make deals with them anymore, anyways so we’re good.” He rambled like he was talking himself down. “He came back for me and he bought me a happy meal and got me a puppy to make up for it so I forgive him,” he said breathing out a little slower.

Negan had put his hands up like he was going to grab Carl’s shoulders to try and quell the shaking, but as Carl calmed down he lowered them. He wasn’t too sure how much he liked this new knowledge. It sounded fishy to him. But he let Carl calm down before saying softly, “Kid, I know he’s your dad and all, but one good deed doesn’t erase a hundred bad ones.” _I would know_ , he thought. He cocked his head at the teen. “I’m just glad you’re ok,” his voice was low and he spoke slow. “If there is anything I can do, let me know.” He placed a hand on Carl’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. Inside, Negan was fuming at this new apparent group of people that all needed to be taken out, but he knew that he couldn’t do anything about that right now.

Carl sighed and shakily shrugged. “It wasn’t his fault, he probably didn’t know.” He said and flinched when his shoulder was touched. Once he felt the firm squeeze he felt more relaxed, leaning his head to his shoulder. His cheek resting on the back of the man's hand.

“I know, kid. I know,” Negan sighed. He’d been doing a lot of sighing lately. This kid was wearing him out. He flipped his hand around and cradled Carl’s cheek in it.

“When can we get Judith? I want her back...” Carl sniffled. “Need her,” he said looking at Negan’s chest, finding it hard to maintain eye contact with this feeling inside him.

“Why don’t you grab a few nuggets for the road and I can get our friends back together in the meeting room. Do you remember meeting them? We need you to draw us a map and tell us about your dad's place, but I’m sure they’re gonna have other questions for you as well.” Negan hoped he hadn’t freaked them out too much earlier. He knew he was acting weird and Carl being drugged just didn’t help. Maybe now they’d see why he trusted Carl.

He nodded. “Yes, Sir.” He swallowed thickly as he pushed his cheek into the man's hand, liking the feeling but not knowing why.  “I remember where it is,” he confirmed before reaching out and popping a nugget into his mouth.

Negan patted Carl’s cheek before dropping his hand and getting his phone out. He called Dwight and asked for the situation with the guests. They had chosen to stay there, thankfully, so Negan asked him to get them together in the meeting room again and he’d be there soon. Hanging up he turned back to Carl. “Alright, if you wanna take any of those with you put them on one of those plates. If not, then let’s go.”

Carl nodded and just grabbed two nuggets before scampering to the door, trotting out after the older man.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The meeting goes better and plans are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a roleplay written by myself and [matthew-the-neko-boy](https://matthew-the-neko-boy.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. In this chapter, I'm Negan and Maggie and Matt is Carl and Ezekiel.
> 
> Thanks as always for the lovely comments! Super happy people are enjoying this story, and I feel like we're slowly building an army to go fight Rick XD
> 
> Enjoy~

“So who are we meeting?” Carl asked, not remembering they had already met them. He followed Negan quickly to the elevator before chewing on some nuggets. Negan held the elevator open for the younger, pressing the floor button once he was in. “Four,” Carl whispered to himself about the elevator as they got in.

“Some friends who are going to help us get your sister,” Negan explained. “And… technically you already met them. You were just, you know.” He twirled his finger next to his head to indicate Carl on drugs. “So, if they give you weird looks or ask weird questions, I’m sorry. I really didn’t want to bring you to them like that, but Denise said you’d be fine and time was of the essence,” he huffed.

The elevator dinged as it reached the floor and the doors opened. Negan led the way out and to the room. Walking in, they were the first ones there. Negan brought Carl to the head of the table where they sat last time and waited.

Carl nodded in understanding to everything Negan said as they walked into the room. “Yeah, that's fine. Anything to get her back. We need guns and people and- I don’t know. I think I have to be the one to get Judith because I don’t think any of you can fit in the hole,” he muttered to himself as he sat there waiting for the others to arrive. Negan made a face at Carl’s words. He didn’t want to know what he meant by this ‘hole’ but he was sure he’d find out soon anyway.  
  
Soon Ezekiel came in, taking large strides to the chair next to Carl. “Hello, young soldier. It’s nice to meet again. I see you look a lot better.” He chuckled.

Negan waved at Ezekiel as he walked in, glad to see he was immediately friendly towards Carl. He chuckled at Ezekiel’s words. “Just needed some sleep. That’s all.”

Maggie made her way in a moment later, taking her spot next to Negan. She smiled at Carl. “Hello again. Feeling better?”

“Hello to you too, Sir,” Carl said to Ezekiel before nodding at Maggie’s words. “Yes, I feel a lot better. I just needed a little time to let it all flush from my system.” He chuckled a bit and flashed a smile. He was a lot more mature. The weird part though was he was acting normal so he clearly was a good actor.   
  
“I’m glad. Now shall we get to planning?” Ezekiel said before Dwight came in with a large poster board and markers to draw out the map of the place.

Negan grinned and had him set down the supplies on the table in front of Carl. “Woo hoo, arts and crafts!” Negan joked, feeling excited about making actual plans and getting shit done. “Alright, kid. How do we get in? Where’s your sister at? How many men do you think we need? How many of Rick’s men do I get to destroy?” Negan asked, standing up and leaning over the table in anticipation, oozing excitement. Maggie smirked from the side. This was the Negan she was used to seeing.

Carl ignored his questions and started to draw out the map of the three layered building in green. Once he finished the basic design he sat up to answer the questions. “I have no idea where we could get in,” he said honestly. “Dad usually has 30 men on staff at all times so however many you think we need. Don’t hurt Daryl, or Aaron. They’re like really good guys, and the rest I don’t really care I guess.” He shrugged. “And, Judith is here if she’s not in the auditorium or the black box with dad.” He pointed to a little room behind a room. It had no door and the only way to get to it was through the other room.

Maggie frowned, looking over the map. She knew there’d be a lot and that this wouldn’t be easy, but to even have Rick’s kid say he didn’t know how’d they get in didn’t instill her with confidence. Negan was looking over the map with intense concentration on his face, childish glee on hold for the moment. She cleared her throat. “What is the black box?” she asked.

“It’s a room that he keeps all his tools in. We’d go in there before plays and stuff for the auditorium,” Carl explained. “So, maybe we go from down here.” He pointed. “Go into the workers room, neutralize everyone but Aaron and Daryl, and then it’ll be easier to move around. But we need to find dad. I want to go to the black box, then get Judith,” he said. “Also our room is off of dad’s office, so we have to go through there to get here.” He pointed to the third floor map.  
  
Ezekiel just watched for a while before saying, “So, we should bring at least forty to fifty men.”

Maggie nodded, taking in Carl’s words and following his finger on the map. She nodded again at Ezekiel’s words. “I can offer that many as well. Do you suppose we need to go in teams? Some of us going to the black box while some go with you to his office?” she asked.

“Will Aaron and Daryl join us then and there, or will we need to knock them out but not kill them?” Negan asked, wanting to know if they were going to gain two more men with inside knowledge or be stuck with a babysitting job.

“Teams would be a good idea. We don’t need too many people going to the auditorium and black box just because dad doesn’t let people in there besides me or anybody he’s using to be in the show,” Carl explained, nodding to Negan for a moment. “Aaron will have to be knocked out and probably Daryl too. Daryl is a lot more...nice? I don’t know. He was basically my baby sitter and my buddy since I was born, so he’ll be okay once we fill him in and he sees I’m fine. Aaron’s husband just died so he’s having his own little meltdowns, so I don’t know about him.”

Negan nodded taking the info in. “Alright, well I know for sure I’m going with you,” he said, pointing to Carl. “So, we’ll take a team of what, ten or fifteen men, up to the third floor to get to the office and Judith, while Maggie and Ezekiel and the rest of my men check the auditorium and the black box?”

Carl looked up at Negan and smiled a little, nodding. “Okay.” He looked up at him. He agreed with him and wanted to stick close by the older man.

Maggie leaned forward. “What are these shows you keep talking about? Does this have to do with the videos your father takes?” Her eyes flicked to Ezekiel.

“Maybe we should bring a few tranquilizers, so like we don’t have to kill as many people,” Carl added before looking up at Maggie. “Yeah, he keeps all the tapes in the black box for when he does screenings. I- um- I want the tapes,” he said a bit awkwardly.  
  
Ezekiel swallowed the lump in his throat down with a bit of water. “Maybe I should come with you and Carl to the office or something. I’m sorry, but I don’t wish to see that room again,” he explained.

Negan hummed understandably at Ezekiel. “That’s reasonable. You can come with us then. Maggie, you’ll be in charge of the black box auditorium area then.” Maggie nodded in understanding.

“I’ve got a couple extra tranquilizer guns and ammo I’d be happy to donate as well,” she said, looking towards Carl. She appreciated the kid’s concern for life.

Negan nodded his thanks. “Is there anything else we need to hash out?”

“Dad- he... um- well, um- what's your name again? Maggie?” Carl said hoping he got it right. “There may be a few people still alive in the black box so just prepare yourself. It’s a lot. I learned it's better to just put them all down. They won't be able to be saved,” he said gulping. “And you may see people in pretty rough condition, to the rest of you guys. Sometimes like the little kids are hard to look at, but just push through it and it won’t be too bad,” he said licking his lips nervously. He grew up in this so it wasn’t as hard for him, but judging by Negan’s reaction to his eye he knew shit would really start hitting the fan when they saw everything in its entirety.

Maggie nodded at Carl, hardening her face. She didn’t think she could ever be prepared for what they were going to see in this place. She pitied Carl for having to grow up there and be surrounded it.

Negan breathed heavy out of his nose, turning from the table to pace a bit behind Carl. God, he was going to have control so much of himself to not kill Rick as soon as he saw him. Negan froze, mid stride. Shit. He turned back to the table. “I just remembered. No one is allowed to kill Rick.”

Maggie whipped her head around to Negan. “Excuse me?” Wasn’t that one of the main reasons they were doing this? To take him down once and for all.

Negan shook his head. “I promised Carl I wouldn’t kill his dad.” He set a hand on Carl’s shoulder gently. Maggie shot Ezekiel a ‘do you agree with this?’ look.

Carl smiled up at Negan a little bit. He was very grateful for this man.  
  
“No deal,” Ezekiel said almost immediately. “I won't be risking my peoples lives unless I get Rick’s head.” He growled. He sharply turned to Maggie, acknowledging her look. “He bashed in your husband's head. The man is a twisted sadist that deserves to die!” Ezekiel yelled.  
  
Carl whipped out his scissors and slammed them into the table in front of Ezekiel, not in a threatening way but in a warning way. They were stabbed into the table, now sticking up out of it. “He is sick! He needs help!” he yelled.  
  
“He’s brainwashed you child!” Ezekiel exclaimed, standing up, fisting his hands onto the table.

“Ezekiel! Sit down! Carl! Put the goddamn scissors away!” Negan yelled. He was not happy. A deep frown set on his face and he looked between the three others in the room, his hands clenching by his side. Oh, no. He was not happy at all.

“I know what that man has done to you,” he started in a sharp but even volume. “And you know what that man has done to me.” Maggie glanced away when Negan looked her in the eye. “I want his head on a spike just as much, if not _more_ , than you two combined.” He pointed at them with sharp movements. “But, I made a fucking promise, and I plan on upholding it whether you help me or not. Need I remind you, this mission is about rescuing a fucking _child_.” His volume raised at the end and he had to pause and take a breath. In through his nose and out through his mouth.

“If killing Rick is the only thing that will satisfy you, just get out now. If you’re that thirsty for blood, you’re no better than him.” He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back, staring the two adults in the room down.

Maggie fidgeted with the hem of her shirt, her jaw clenched as she debated Negan’s words. He was right about a lot of things, but was it enough? She looked to Ezekiel.

Ezekiel was about to argue more, ready to yell, but he stopped when he watched the little soldier, with a hard set, sad look on his face, reach over with a shaky hand, rip the scissors up out of the oak table and retreat back into his seat in front of Negan.  
  
Ezekiel groaned frustratingly. He hated that he was a good man sometimes. “Fine. We’re doing it for the child,” he said, slowly relaxing back down into the seat. Maggie felt her heart bleed watching Carl obey Negan’s command. Not because he looked like a dog obeying a master, but because he looked like a sad child who knew he had let down his mentor. Maggie watched Ezekiel sit back down, agreeing to help. She had already made up her mind, but she wanted to see where he stood first.  
  
Carl just looked at the older male before looking towards Maggie to see what she’d say. It was kind of weird to think about, but he hadn’t ever had contact with many women. Especially not living with his father with his mother gone for the past ten years. He’d see one here and there, but he never had any close contact with one.

Maggie looked back over and found Carl looking at her. She smiled at him. He looked like a sweet kid. Maybe she’d invite him over after all this was over. “Yeah, I’m still in. As much as I’d like Rick dead, it will be just as satisfying to see his empire fall,” she concluded, nodding at Negan.

Carl felt strange when Maggie smiled at him. Women were different than men. They were softer, more caring, and he wasn’t as afraid of them. Maybe it was because their stature was smaller, or maybe it was because of the way they were just more gentle than men. Yes, these all were stereotypes. He knew women who killed and bad women that had deserved to die, but the majority of women he had met were kinder gentler souls. He looked away from Maggie when she smiled at him after a moment.

Negan dropped his arms, letting out a breath. “Thank you,” he said making eye contact with Maggie and Ezekiel. He placed his hand softly on Carl’s head and ran his fingers down through his hair once, trying to say sorry for yelling at him. “So, is there anything else we need to discuss? If not, we need to collect our men. Friday is the day Rick expects Carl back with my head, so we can either move out tomorrow or Friday morning.” Negan said, placing his hands on the table and leaning forward.

“Tomorrow. We need to go by tomorrow. I need her back by tomorrow night,” he told Negan.  
  
“I agree with the boy. We need to get that little girl away from Rick as soon as possible. We can’t risk him hurting her,” Ezekiel said before looking at Carl and adding, “More than he already has.” He sighed thinking about it.  
  
“We might need gas masks. He likes to use gas and stuff,” Carl said trying to think of everything that could possibly go wrong so they could prepare.

“I’ve got masks,” Negan assured. “Enough for everyone.”

“Are we meeting up here before we leave?” Maggie asked. “Or are we meeting closer to Rick’s?”

“If we meet up here, I’ve got armored trucks we can get there in,” Negan said. He didn’t know exactly how it was going to go down. He hoped they’d be able to get in with little outside notice, but just in case he’d like to be covered.

Ezekiel nodded. “I can live with that,” he said looking up at Negan and giving over his hand to shake with Negan. “We come here tomorrow at five am. Get our guns and masks ready, and we make our way there before dawn breaks.” Ezekiel reiterated all the plans together into one executive fluid plan to shake on.    
  
“Agreed,” Carl said, sitting back, arms crossed not making eye contact. He was a bit sick thinking about the house of horrors he would be going back to in the morning.

“Agreed,” Negan reached forward and shook Ezekiel’s hand. Maggie stood and reached out to shake out his as well. Negan looked at Carl and nudged his shoulder, tilting his head towards the other adults, silently saying, ‘shake their hands’.

“We will see you at five.” Negan already had his phone out, ready to start calling his men to get everything together.

Carl had a kinda dazed look in his eyes as he was nudged. It wasn’t like he was drugged, just kinda looked like he wasn’t there. Carl quickly reached out and shook both their hands. He didn’t let go of Maggie’s hand though. He held it, tighter than a normal handshake and cocked his head to the hallway, wanting to speak to her alone but unable to find the words to say it, hoping she understood what he meant when he looked towards to door.

Maggie’s brows knitted together for a second before she nodded and released Carl’s hand. “We’ll be right back,” she said, leaning closer to Negan for a second before motioning for Carl to follow her outside. Negan raised an eyebrow at the exchange but nodded. He took Carl’s spot once he stood up in order to be closer to Ezekiel.

Maggie held the door open for Carl, shutting it softly once he was outside. Cocking her head to the side, she regarded him with curiosity. “What can I do for you?”

Carl stepped closer to the woman. “I know we just met, but I need you to make me a promise,” he said reaching out to hold her hand tightly, shaking again.

Maggie felt the boy trembling and she raised up her other hand to sandwich his and hold it tighter. She frowned. What could he possibly want from her specifically. “I can’t make you the promise before I know what it is,” she said softly. “What do you need?”

“When I die you’re gonna take care of my little sister. I know it’s a lot but I don’t have time or options, so I can’t be picky,” he said looking at her. “I’ve come to terms that I’m probably gonna die eventually and if she’s not grown enough to take care of herself will you please take her?” he asked. He felt bad he was putting this all on her but she seemed caring, compassionate and brave enough to be a good leader and a caregiver.

Maggie’s heart broke. The kid made it sound like he was dying soon. Nobody should be in the position he was in. “Sure, Carl. I’ll take her,” she told him, moving a hand to his cheek. “But you promise me something. Promise you’ll stick around for as long as possible. A girl needs her big brother.” Maggie drew him close and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. “Especially one as loving and strong as you.”

He was not used to this. It felt weird, but he knew he should like it, and he knew he probably would if he stuck around. “Yeah, I can do that I’m just making sure I have a- She... She has a back up plan.” He laughed a little, feeling his heart in his throat as she kissed his forehead. “I’m sorry you’re going into the black box,” he whispered.

She smiled at him, petting his hair before tucking it behind his ear. “It’s alright. Whatever I can do to help you and your sister, I’ll do it,” she matched his volume, her voice soft. “Thank you for caring though, and thank you for trusting your sister with me. It means a lot.” She took his hand in hers again, squeezing it. “I just had a baby myself, so I understand having a child that you’d do anything for and that you care for more than anything in the world.”

“I need you to get me the tapes,” he said suddenly, looking at their hands. He felt sick knowing he was sending her in there, but if not her then who else. “If you can’t get them all just get all the ones with my name on them. Or the names Lori, Daryl or Beth,” he said, gulping down his nervousness. “You’re a really good woman Maggie.”

Maggie nodded. “Don’t worry. I will.” She squeezed his hands. “You’re a good kid, Carl. And,” she bit her lips for a moment looking away before looking back. “I know sometimes he might not seem like it, but Negan really is a good man. I’m not sure how you got on his good side, but kudos to you for doing it. I know he’ll take good care of you. Don’t take his trust for granted.”

He looked at her chest as she spoke. He was staring at a heart shaped necklace on that had resting on her chest. On it were the initials ‘GR’. Carl looked up at her after a minute. “Okay, I will. I’ll trust him. Thank you Maggie.” He pulled away before reaching for the door to go back inside.

“My pleasure,” she said softly before turning and following him back into the room. Negan perked up immediately, watching the two walk back in. He gave Maggie a questioning look, but she just shook her head and smiled at him. “Alright boys, I think it’s time I take my leave. If there are no further questions, I’m going to round my men up and we’ll be back before dawn.”

“Thank you, Maggie,” Negan spoke sincerely, standing to shake her hand again, grasping her arm with his other hand and looking her in right in the eye. “Thank you.” Maggie nodded, reaching up and patting him on the cheek. He snorted and smiled softly at her. She turned, waving to Carl and Ezekiel, and stepped back out of the room.

Carl watched the woman leave with a smile. He was gonna make money somehow, and he was going to get a phone so he wasn’t so scared that every time someone left he’d never see them again.   
“I should take my leave as well. Warriors need rest before war.” Ezekiel got up. “It was nice to meet with you Carl. Negan, a pleasure.” He walked over and left as well.  
  
Carl looked up at Negan, smiling. He actually had hope for the future.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl and Negan have some time to talk and head over to the infirmary to visit Simon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a roleplay written by myself and [matthew-the-neko-boy](https://matthew-the-neko-boy.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.
> 
> In this chapter, I'm Negan and Matt is Carl.
> 
> A short little segue chapter, but we get to see some more of Negan's place and learn about Carl some~

Negan sighed. He had made his calls while Carl and Maggie were outside. Everyone was getting ready, weapons were being checked, trucks being fueled. All he could do now was wait. The waiting always stressed him out more than the actual fight. At least in the moment you knew what you had to do and you did it, but the wait before hand was agonizing. He never knew what to do besides bark orders, but his people were efficient and knew their jobs, so he didn’t even  _ need _ to do that.

He looked down at Carl and, seeing his smile, smiled back. He reached down and playfully booped Carl’s nose. “My people are getting ready as we speak. We’ll have your sister safe by this time tomorrow.”

Carl smiled. “Thank you Negan. I’ll pay you back someday. Judith is a tough cookie. She’ll do great as one of your people someday,” he said, thinking about Judith all grown up. “Maybe someone here could teach her to read and write too?” he asked, looking up at the man. “And, maybe one day, she’ll be pretty. I named her after my second grade teacher.” He giggled a bit.

Negan hopped up and sat on the table in front of Carl, his legs dangling. “I can find the best tutor, don’t you worry about that,” he assured him. Yes, he would find the best teachers for her, and maybe even Carl. He would even send them to a public school if they so wished. 

Negan suddenly realized he was essentially adopting some children. A few years ago, when Lucille was still in his life, the concept wouldn’t have been so far fetched. Now, it seemed wild even thinking about it. “If she’s got even an ounce of your looks, she’ll be beautiful,” Negan said with a smirk and an eyebrow quirk.

Carl smiled a bit giggling. “That’ll be great. I was only in school until the second grade but I loved it,” he said, smiling. “Ms. Kenny was super nice. She’d bring in an extra lunch for me. She’d let me stay late after class or stay with her during recess to color. She was like a super sweet lady. She let me call her Judith.” He laughed. “I read to Judith when I could, but it’s hard sometimes.”

“She sounds like a nice person,” Negan said smiling. He was crying on the inside at the lack of care that Carl received. He was amazed that he had made it this far in life. “I can get teachers for you too, if you want. You can have anything you wish really.” He shrugged. God, he sounded like a sugar daddy except he wasn’t getting any sugar out of it. “I want you and Judith to be happy here.”

Carl smiled a little. “Thank you, Sir, but I’m fine. I can do basics.” He shrugged. “I have life skills. Who cares if I can’t do, um, well I can’t think of any but stupid math stuff. I can add subtract, divide, and multiply. I can read okay, and I can write. I think I’m good, unless there's more that you learn in school?” he said smiling up at him. “I know how to use weapons, I know how to survive dangerous situations, and I know how to draw. I feel like I know everything I need.” He giggled.

Negan smiled sadly. “Yeah, I mean, those are the basics I suppose,” he said, “but if you want more advanced or specialty things like… science or baking or…” He twirled his hand in the air trying to think of something. “Painting or woodworking? I don’t know, kid. There’s a lot out there to learn. Don’t just limit yourself to the basics.”

Carl thought about it. He honestly never thought about his future like this. “Okay. I guess it could be fun,” he said with a small smile. “You’re a really good guy ya know,” he said looking down. “Didn’t think those existed, but I found one.” He laughed a little, smiling up at the man.

Negan chuckled, feeling the hint of a blush run up his neck. “Thanks, kid,” he said, reaching out ruffling Carl’s hair playfully. “Don’t spread that around though. I’ve got a reputation to protect.” He winked at him and smirked. 

Carl chuckled a little and nodded. “Okay, Sir,” he said looking down at his hands, toying with his thumbs. “I meant what I said by the way. He’s just sick and he needs help. He isn't always bad. He can be good too.”

Negan sighed. “We’ve all got our good and bad sides, kid. They’re not always equal to each other.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands together. “Carl, I really would prefer if you never saw your father again after this,” Negan said, point blank. “But, I know you’ll probably want to.”

He put his palms together and steepled his chin on the tips of his fingers, thinking for a moment. “Maybe… I can’t believe I’m saying this,” he said shaking his head and sighing. “Maybe, after all of this, I can do some calling around and see if anyone has connections with a hospital he could be put into.” He looked at Carl. “Maybe.”

Carl looked down. Unable to look the man in the eyes as he spoke about his father. He was probably right, he should never see Rick after this, but the thought of never seeing again made Carl sick. Carl new the hospital wouldn’t work. He knew his dad was a sociopath. He knew there would be no helping him.

“I-,“ he said. “He can’t be hospitalized. He knows people too well. He’ll get out in less then a year...” he said honestly, frowning. “He’ll hurt a lot more people.”

Negan frowned at that. How was Rick supposed to get help then? He could probably procure private treatment for Rick, some kind of solitary thing. Negan really wanted Rick either dead or locked up, and if locked up meant in a padded room, that was fine by him. Maybe he could do it without Carl’s knowledge. It all depended on how the fight went he guessed. 

“Well, if you’ve got a better idea for helping him, let me know,” Negan scoffed lightly. His phone suddenly buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out to look. It was Denise. Simon was awake.

“Hold that thought,” he said, putting a hand up to Carl. “One of my top men that you shot is awake.” He looked up at the boy. Simon really might not want to see Carl, but Negan didn’t want to leave him alone. Carl might also have another episode walking into the medical ward again. “Would you like to accompany me to the infirmary?” he asked anyway.

Carl shook his head no almost immediately. “No, I can’t,” he said. “I hate the smell, and he’s gonna try and kill me,” he whined nervously, wanting to avoid the man forever. “He doesn’t wanna see me… Oh Jesus, he’s gonna flip when you tell him we’re working together now.” He giggled a little bit.

“I understand,” Negan nodded. “Though I’m sure the only thing he’d be capable of doing right now is glare at you.” Just because he was awake didn’t mean he was fully healed. Negan was disappointed that he wouldn’t have Simon or Arat in this fight, but at least they’d be safe from it.

“And yeah,” Negan cracked a smile, “he’s probably gonna be pissed at that but he trusts my judgement and he’ll come around.” Negan hopped off the table. “Alright, well, let me escort you back to your room, and then I’ll go.”

“Well, actually, I wanted to know if maybe I could walk around for a while?” Carl asked, slowly making his way to his feet as Negan jumped off the table. “I kinda wanna get a feel for this place before Judith gets here,” he said. “Hard to contain a toddler to one room. I need to figure where and where not she should go,” he said, almost scampering after Negan to the door. He looked a little excited about it more so than scared. “Or I could come with you if you want that. I just don’t wanna go and just sit in that room until the fight. I’ll get too antsy.”

Negan hummed as he walked towards the elevator. “Well, the entire upper floor of guest rooms also holds my office, as you’ve seen, and the top most floor is all my penthouse. Below that, we have this floor,” he gestured to where they stood, “which is mainly the meeting room. Below that is the staff’s quarters, and then the infirmary, and then the gym and pool area, and then the kitchens, and then the lobby.” Negan held up a finger for every floor, ticking it off as he went and looking bored, as if he’s had to explain this to many people many times.

“The basement floors are all the weapons and such, but they’re locked down so it doesn’t really matter.” He shrugged looking at Carl. He pressed the elevator button to get it to come to them. “But, go ahead and explore. I won’t force you to the infirmary. Don’t want you throwing up again.” The elevator dinged and Negan stepped inside, holding the door open for Carl.

Carl bit his lips before hopping in the elevator with Negan. “Six,” he muttered to himself as he smiled. “Can I have nose plugs? Or something to put in my nose?” he asked. “Because I think it’s the smell that gets me,” he explained. “And you have a pool? I’ve never been swimming. I wanna try though.” He smiled and laughed. 

Negan chuckled. “Well, I’ll have to give you some swimming lessons,” he said with a wink. “Coincidentally, we’ve got nose clips in the pool area. We can stop by there and grab a pair for you if you think you’ll be ok with those?” Negan asked, but pressed the button for the pool floor anyway. 

Carl nodded softly, his smile still a mile wide thinking about it. He was honestly never excited about life nor happy he was going to be alive, but now he had something to look forward too it was great. “Yeah, it’ll help. I think it’s that doctor smell that makes me feel sick.”

The elevator doors opened to the hallway that led to the gym Carl had been in earlier when Negan was working out. Negan led the way down it, passing the doors to the gym and continuing until the air began to smell slightly like chlorine. It wasn’t overpowering because Negan himself hated the smell, so he worked to keep it down. 

They passed by a wall that had a huge window inlaid into it, behind it the pool. It was a huge indoor pool, practically Olympic sized, shallow end on one side deep end on the other. Two levels of diving boards and even a curly water slide.

“They’re just over here in the locker room,” Negan said, pointing towards a few doors on the wall adjacent to the window. One was marked “men”, one “women”, and one “in between or otherwise”. Negan went to the men’s door and held it open, waving Carl in.

Carl gawked at the pool for a few moments, letting it sink in just how massive this complex was. Rick’s place was large but it felt like a normal house compared to this place. He soon snapped himself out of it when Negan spoke and quickly scampered after the man. “What does in-between or otherwise mean, Sir?” he asked looking around the locker room before seeing a metal counter with towels, q-tips, ear plugs and nose clips laid out for people to use at the pool. “This place is super cool,” he said softly, smiling a bit.

Negan gestured to the table, indicating for Carl to go over and grab what he needed while he waited by the door. “It means people who don’t identify as a boy or a girl, or maybe they identify as both.” He shrugged. “I like for my people to feel accepted here no matter what.” He smiled at Carl’s comment. It was pretty cool. “Well, grab some nose clips and let’s head out.”

Carl nodded softly. “I never met anyone like that before.”

“Stick around here long enough, and you just might,” Negan said.

Carl smiled a bit and grabbed some nose clips, putting it on before grabbing some ear plugs. It’d be good to have in case there was a shoot out tomorrow. “Okay all ready!” He smiled.

Negan chuckled at Carl’s smile and led the way back to the elevator, pressing the button for infirmary floor. “Alright, we can go in together, but I want you to hang back a bit,” Negan explained. “Simon might not even be fully coherent. I’m sure he’s being pumped full of pain meds, but I still don’t want to give him a shock right away.” The elevator began to rise and Negan sighed. He hoped this went alright.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon is visited, as well as the roof.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a roleplay written by myself and [matthew-the-neko-boy](https://matthew-the-neko-boy.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.
> 
> In this chapter, I'm Negan and Dwight, and Matt is Carl and Simon.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

The elevator dinged and the doors opened. The familiar white halls greeted them. Negan watched Carl closely as they made their way to the correct door that Negan knocked softly on before entering. It was a large room with four hospital beds. Each divided by a curtain. Denise stood at the end of one of the beds looking at some charts. Negan made his way to her, gesturing for Carl to stay at the door. 

Denise looked up and smiled. “Negan, good you’re here. Simon is up and he is doing miraculously well. Two bullets went straight through his left side and missed all organs and arteries and the other just grazed his right arm.”

Carl felt a sudden surprising wave a shame come over him. Was he that bad of a shot? Granted, he had one eye, and he had been knocked around a bit, but still! 

Denise pulled open the curtains so Simon could see Negan. Negan threw a hand up in greeting at the other man. Simon lay in the hospital bed, IV and blood transfusion bags running to him and heart monitor cords running from him. He looked alright for someone who had gotten shot twice in the side, but he still wasn’t one hundred percent. 

Negan put a hand on Denise’s shoulder and thanked her before sitting in the chair next to Simon's bed. “Hey, how you feelin?” he asked Simon. 

“About as good as I can be. The little bastard got three shots off on me.” He laughed a little before groaning in pain and doing his best to settle back down, trying to get comfortable in the bed.

“I’m surprised he hit you at all,” Negan commented. He still didn’t know how Carl had gotten in either, but however he did, he had really gotten the jump on his people.

“So, did you get the little brat? God, I wish I was there to see it. What did you end up doing boss?” he asked with a cocky sly smile, not knowing Carl was in the doorway behind the curtain and could hear everything.

Negan looked away from Simon, dropping his shoulders and laughing awkwardly. “Yeah, I got him though,” he said. “And, I punished him well.” He rubbed at the back of his neck. “But, there’s something you need to know…” Negan sighed and looked back at Simon. How was he going to explain this to Simon without him getting overly heated? Negan bit at his bottom lip for a moment before sitting up straight and confident.

“Do you remember when Dwight found Lady?” He asked suddenly. “She was in that back alley, hurt and scared and she bit him like five times but he still brought her inside and nursed her back to health.” He knew he was basically comparing Carl to a dog right now, but it was the closest example he could think of.

Simon just looked at him, nodded a bit as he listened to Negan’s words, not yet understanding what Negan meant by all this. “Yeah, what does his dog have anything to do with that little twat?” he said confused before it hit him. “Oh hell no! Boss! He killed two people and almost killed Arat and I! He had no remorse in his eye! He tried to kill you! He isn’t some abused little animal. He’s a psychopathic killer!”

Negan crossed his arms over his chest. “I spoke to him after I subdued him. He’s Rick’s kid. He was just following orders.  _ You  _ should know how that is better than anyone,” he said, raising an eyebrow at Simon. “He’s been punished for the pain he’s caused here, and he is going to work for me for the rest of his life after we take down his father.” Negan dropped his voice, soft enough that Simon could hear him but that Carl would have trouble listening in, and narrowed his eyes at Simon. “And for your info, he  _ is _ an abused child.”

“We’re all abused children Negan. No one with a good childhood chooses this profession,” Simon said back quickly. Maybe it was the meds but he was biting back at Negan a lot more than ever before. “But you know what? The rest of us don’t shoot random people and then forgive that person.”

Carl’s heart kind of slammed into his gut as soon as he heard that. He felt scared and confused. For the rest of his life was a damn long time now that he wanted to live. He started to back away from the door before booking it down the hallway, rushing to try and find stairs before going to the elevator. He frantically pushed the button on the wall, waiting for it to open. He needed space and time before he got too freaked out, even though he was close to being there.

...

“And if he’s Rick’s kid he’s probably a spy faking it to get to you!”

Negan stood up sharply, his chair scraping backwards and almost falling over. The sound echoed through the room. “You think I don’t know this? You think I didn’t consider that? When did you lose faith in my judgement, Simon? Hmm?” He stepped closer to Simon, hovering over him. “I knew you wouldn’t be overjoyed at this turn of events, but I thought you still trusted me enough to let me make my own goddamn decisions!” He leaned his upper body back as he scoffed out the words. He briefly wondered how Carl was doing back by the door. Negan had planned on bringing him over here to show Simon, but at the rate things were going, that wouldn’t be happening.

Simon just looked back at Negan with a glare. He was trying to calm himself but it was pretty hard. He wanted to punch him in the face and shoot the kid, but he needed to take a breath and see that that was not a good option. “I think it’s not the best move, Sir, but I’ll ultimately accept and trust you’re decision.” 

“Thank you,” Negan stated. “I hope to see you come around to him.”

Simon sighed, and he looked down. His arms were full of IV’s. He grabbed a remote and squeezed the button to get more drugs since he was in so much pain. “Where is he now?” he asked sighing. 

…

Carl frantically pressed the button more. Why the fuck was the elevator not opening?

…

Negan pointed behind himself. “He’s waiting by the door. If you’re gonna be civil, I can get him. Do you want to talk to him?” Negan didn’t know how well that’d go down, but he’d give him a chance. Not like Simon could get up out of bed anyway.

“Yeah, I’ll be okay. I’m a grown man. I know how to bite my tongue,” he said to Negan reassuringly. He would be able to control himself, and even if he did have a sudden burst of rage, the most he could do was throw his clicker or water cup at the boy. “I can handle a little boy like him.”

Negan placed hand lightly on Simon’s shoulder and nodded. “Thank you for saving my life, by the way. I haven’t forgotten that.” He squeezed his shoulder before turning and peeking out from behind the privacy curtain. “Carl, you can-,” what the fuck? Where was he? Negan hummed and said a quick, “One second,” to Simon before heading towards the door.

…

Dwight rounded the corner of the medical hallway, a stack of papers in his hands. He was reading them, thumbing through the forms, and didn’t realize he had reached the med bay doors until he heard the frantic button clicking from Carl down the way. He looked up and noticed the frazzled boy. Frowning, he stepped closer, keeping his footsteps light, till he was about three feet away. “Hey, kid. You only gotta press it once.” 

“Why the fuck isn’t this opening?!” Carl snapped at Dwight shakily. He didn’t realize that the elevator had a delay of two and a half minutes unless he had an ID chip like Dwight, Arat, Simon and Negan had to speed it up. It was designed so people couldn’t break in or run, so they would get trapped in dead ends. The design was genius. “Open the elevator, please. Make it open!” Carl yelled at Dwight, gripping the scissors in his pocket.

“Hey, kid, calm down. Breathe.” Dwight set his papers down on floor, moving slowly, putting his hands up to show they were empty. He stayed low down to make himself seem less threatening. “Take a deep breath, in through your nose, out through your mouth. I’ll open it for you, but you gotta calm down. You won’t be able to go to any floor without me in there. You’ll just get stuck,” Dwight explained, voice gentle. He wasn’t about to get stuck in an elevator with a murderous kid.

Carl did his best to calm down. If he didn’t get out through the elevator he was not above trying to find a way out through the windows. He knew he could jump about fifteen feet without much damage since he knew how to fall but he would rather not do that. “Then just give me you’re ID, or your card, or your whatever. I just need to leave for a bit. I need to not be in here.,” he said, feeling claustrophobic, like the walls were closing in. “I need some fresh air, anything.” He tried backing down, tried not screaming, tried to not look so on edge like some sort of spring trap toy. 

…

“Is he gone? Did he take off, Sir? He could be anywhere,” Simon said, getting a little worked up at the kid getting away after all.

“Stay calm, he couldn’t have gotten far. He probably got freaked out over something we said. I’ll be back,” Negan replied. He opened the door slowly and looked out without exiting the room. He was surprised to see Dwight crouching down with his hands up trying to talk down a scared Carl, but he honestly wasn’t surprised.

Dwight bit his lip. “Kid, the ID is implanted in me. I  _ am _ the ID,” he explained. He could tell the kid was trying to relax, but he was spooked and just needed help. Taking a deep breath, Dwight stood up slowly.

“Now, I’m gonna let you in, and I’ll take you to the rooftop for some air. How does that sound?” Dwight asked, speaking slowly as he came forward. Once he was within a foot of the elevator doors, they dinged happily and opened. He gestured for Carl to go in, which he did quickly, before following and pressing the top most button. As the doors closed, he caught sight of Negan looking out the med bay door. Oh god, he hoped he didn’t get in trouble for this.

…

Negan hummed and shut the door. He made his way back to Simon, sitting back in his chair and putting his face in his hands. “Well, Dwight is taking him somewhere. Kid looked panicked. He threw up the first time I brought him to the medical wing, so this isn’t much of a surprise.” Negan sighed. He dropped his hands and looked at the curtain across the way. He nodded towards it and looked to Simon. “How’s Arat doing?” 

“Why the hell did he puke? Is he sick or something?” He asked before answering the man’s questions. “She’s been conscious until the past hour. She was so on edge because she was worried he’d get to the guest rooms where her mother is staying,” he explained. “I finally convinced her to get some shut eye a little while ago and she’s been out cold ever since.”

Negan nodded. “I’m glad she’s recovering well. Tell she she can rest easy. Carl would never hurt her mother,” he said, shaking his head. Negan’s shoulders fell as he thought about Carl’s first trip to the infirmary. “He’s not sick, he’s just… triggered. The kid is covered in physical injuries from his dad or whoever else he’s been fucking passed around to, and he’s probably got an array of mental things screwed up after growing up with that bastard.” Negan rubbed his neck. 

“But, he’s still a good kid. Cares about his sister,” Negan sighed. “I just want to help him.” Negan knew he was acting soft, but Simon had seen this side of him a couple of times, and he didn’t feel shame letting his true feelings show around him.

Simon sighed knowing he couldn’t fight with Negan when he was like this, soft and sweet with the boy. God damn it. If Negan had his heart on this kid already, then there was no chance of Simon getting a chance to go at Carl. “Yeah, when he came in, he already had a split lip and looked like he had baby deer legs or some shit. I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised.” He sighed. “Is that what happened to his eye? And by passed around...what do you mean, exactly?” Simon had an idea but he wanted to know for sure.

Negan shook his head. “I… I  _ think _ it was his dad who popped his eye out, but apparently Carl was with another group of people and they,” he growled, “skull-fucked the poor kid along with who knows what else.” Negan threw his hands up in anger and annoyance. “God, Simon, I thought that I’d seen some shit before this, but nothing will top this.”

Simon bursted out a deep gutted laugh. Negan leveled a look at Simon when he laughed. Like he’d lie about something like that. Simon met Negan’s eyes and stopped abruptly. “Wait, you’re serious?” He looked away, breathing out a breath he didn’t remember holding in. “Shit, that’s something right there,” he said looking back up at Negan. “Now I kinda feel bad for the little brat.” He crossed his arms.

Negan copied his arm crossing and leaned back in his chair. “Yeah, he’s been through hell and now I’ve promised to help him,” he sighed.

...

Once they were in the elevator and heading up, Carl looked Dwight up and down, shocked, trying to see where the chip was. “Where is it? Your hand, your neck, your chest?” he asked, just looking at all sorts of places on the man’s body before looking at his eyes. “My dad has retina scanners in entrances.” He looked at the mans seemingly anxious pale blue eyes. He sighed.

“If you come within ten feet of me while were up there, you’ll regret it,” he finished saying before the doors opened to reveal a nice roof top, not what Carl was expecting. It had lounge chairs, a bar and a hot tub. It was gated in so you couldn’t jump, or be pushed off which was what Carl was afraid of originally.

Dwight walked out on to the rooftop, pointing towards his hip. “It’s in my upper thigh. It’s harder to get that shot off unlike a hand or foot,” he finally answered, not perturbed by Carl’s threat. He walked towards the bar and sat down on one of the stools that lined the front of it. He waved his hand in the air. “Well, go explore or whatever. Calm down. Relax. I’ll be here.” Dwight waited for a moment before pulling his phone out of his pocket and sending a quick text to Negan letting him know where they were.

Carl relaxed a bit listening to the soft steady wind blowing through his hair. It was a soft worm breeze. It was a nice night for June. It was cool and sweet. The sky was a pretty orange and pink ombre the top of the sky was a darker blue while the ends of the sky near the city lining was bright yellow with the sun still out. Carl walked over to the fenced off side of the building, his hands gripping the black bars as he pulled himself closer. 

“It’s really pretty up here!” he yelled over to Dwight over the breeze. Dwight took a deep breath of the crisp air. It  _ was _ pretty nice out here. Maybe he’d bring Lady up here sometime and let her run around. Carl smiled before hearing the cat again. “Hey, can we go down to the street?” He rushed back over. 

Dwight sadly shook his head at Carl’s request. “I’m not sure I’m allowed to take you outside the premises. Sorry.” He shrugged. He wasn’t sure if Negan was going to have his head for bringing the kid up here, so he wasn’t about to push it. Though, Negan hadn’t burst through the elevator doors yet, so that was a good sign. “Why do you want to go down there?” he asked Carl.

“There’s a cat down there. I heard it crying earlier today. Please, bring me down. I have no reason to run. I just want that cat. Please, it’s for my sister when she gets here. She always wanted a cat. Please!” He begged Dwight. Judith would love it. He wasn’t above threatening the man if he said no. He wouldn’t actually hurt the man, he had been super nice to him so far, but the man didn’t know that.

Dwight frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. “Kid, I really don’t know…” The kid seemed genuine enough, but Dwight still wasn’t sure that he wouldn’t book it as soon he could.  It wasn’t that he didn’t believe Carl, but he needed to be sure. “Show me where you heard the cat, let me hear it, and then I’ll call Negan and ask him. Does that sound ok?” Negan hadn’t answered his text yet. Dwight hoped he answered his call.

He stood from his stool, ready to follow Carl to wherever he had heard this cat. Carl pointed down to the east wings alley way. There was no sound for a few minutes before the crying started up again, loud yet soft meows began. “See? I need her.” He said excitedly. He was pretty sure the cat was having kittens from the way it was crying.

Dwight sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Damn him and his tender heart for kids and animals. “Alright, alright. Let me call Negan,” he said, pulling his phone out and hitting the speed dial for his boss.

…

“We’re taking down Rick’s empire tomorrow morning. Maggie and Ezekiel are helping.”

Simon just looked at him. “Without me?” He smirked, laughing. 

Negan laughed at that. “Sorry you have to miss the fun. Next time don’t get shot by a kid,” he said with a wink.

“You think you guys can pull it off if that bastard is that sick. What if he just blows the place up?”

Shrugging at Simon’s question, Negan said, “Hey, if he blows it up, it’s still destroyed.” Negan thought for a moment before looking Simon in the eye. “If I don’t make it out, you know what to do, but if I don’t and Carl does, I want him taken care of. Got it?” Negan pointed at Simon and opened his mouth to say something else when his phone started ringing. He pulled it from his pocket. “Dwight.” He answered the phone with a, “Yeah?”

“Hey, Sir. Uh,” Dwight looked to Carl as he tried to formulate how he should phrase his question. “Did you get my text?”

“No, I’ve been talking to Simon. Why? What’s going on?”

“I took Carl to the roof to get some air. He was freaking out a bit down in the med wing. Anyway, he wants to know if he can go to alley off the east side of the building-,”

“What? Why?”

Dwight sighed. “There’s a cat, Sir. I heard it. He wants to… save it.” He looked to Carl. “He says it’s for his sister.” Dwight heard Negan sigh on the other end and could only imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose. There was a pause for a moment before Negan finally answered.

“Fine. You have ten minutes from when you leave the building. Do not let him out of your sight.”

“Thank you, Sir.” Dwight hung up and put his phone back in his pocket, shooting Carl a thumbs up. “We’ve got ten minutes once we’re out the front doors. Let’s go,” he said, already walking back to the elevator.

Carl smiled happily, but kept himself from bouncing up and down. He didn’t want to look to childish. “Okay, okay, let’s go!” He smiled and ran to the elevator doors pressing the button. “Come on!” He smiled, bouncing on his heels as he made a follow me gesture. “I want it before it runs off.” He smiled excitedly. 

Dwight actually laughed at the kids enthusiasm. He stepped up to the elevator and the doors slid open, letting them in. He pressed the button for the lobby floor and tapped his foot as they literally went from the very top of the building down to the ground level.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl's found some kittens who, like him, just need a safe home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a roleplay written by myself and [matthew-the-neko-boy](https://matthew-the-neko-boy.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.
> 
> In this chapter, I'm Negan and Dwight, and Matt is Carl and Simon.
> 
> We are so close to seeing Rick's place huhuhu~ Who's excited?

The doors dinged as they opened into what looked like a hotel lobby. There was a check-in counter and a small waiting room off to the side. Everything was clean and bright. Turnstiles stopped the two from exiting the building, running between the counter and a wall.

Dwight went up to the woman who sat behind the counter. “Hey, I’m taking a guest out for ten minutes,” he said, gesturing with his head back to Carl. The woman looked at him and raised her eyebrow, snapping the gum that was in her mouth.

“Yeah, alright.” She pressed a button on her desk and the turnstiles buzzed. Dwight gestured for Carl to follow him, and once through it was an open runway to the door.

Carl ran ahead of the man excitedly, pushing through the doors. The alley was pretty filthy, it was filled with garbage, needles, dirty clothes and rotten food. He climbed over the garbage quickly and got to the back were the meowing had stopped.

“Woah, kid, hold up!” Dwight ran after Carl, keeping up with him until he had to maneuver around the garbage. Ugh, they needed to clean this alley up.

In the back, behind a dumpster was a cardboard box with a large orange and tan tabby cat with five newborn kittens drinking from her. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” he said excitedly. It was the first time he had animals away from his dad, so he knew they couldn’t be taken away or killed as a punishment. He could keep them forever. He was so excited, he barely could contain himself.

Dwight finally stopped behind Carl and gasped. “Oh, wow,” he whispered seeing the kittens. He crouched down to look at them closer. Their eyes were still sealed shut and they made little mews as the suckled on their mother. Dwight felt his heart bleed at the sight.

How were they going to get them inside? Could they lift the whole box? Would that hurt them? He looked up at Carl. “Kid, I don’t know anything about kittens, but we don’t have long. Do you think we can tilt the box back to get them all in there and then lift it up and carry it without hurting them?”

“Yeah, but I think we should just lift the box and carry them in, so it won’t upset the mom. If we touch them the mom will totally scratch us.” He said, leaning down impulsively and just lifting the box up smiling. “They’re so cute, oh my god. I love them. Her name is Olivia,” he said, smiling at the mama cat. 

Dwight jumped as Carl just picked up the box. “Woah, ok! Be careful now. That box isn’t in great shape.” He held his arms out to spot Carl and the box as they maneuvered their way back out of the alley, being careful of the garbage laying about. The kittens mewed in distress as their home was being shook and carried away, but they just curled closer to their mom who was giving Carl the cat equivalent of a glare, but wasn’t trying to escape.

Dwight directed Carl back inside the building, calling for the woman behind the counter to let them through. She looked up and gasped as she saw them coming back with a mewing box and quickly unlocked the turnstiles. She watched them curiously as they passed through and made their way back to the elevator. “Ok, let’s take them to your room?” Dwight said, unsure but already pressing the button for that floor.

Carl smiled although he nearly tripped twice. “I got em, I wouldn’t let them fall, they’re way way to cute.” He smiled as he rushed into the elevator, ignoring those around him, just to focused in on the kittens. He got into the elevator before reaching into the box and picking up one of the kittens who cried. 

“No, don’t cry, it’s okay, baby,” he said, kissing his back smiling as he mewled in his boney hands. 

“Hey, hey, two hands on the box. Leave them in there with their mom,” Dwight chastised lightly. He wasn’t sure they should be handling the kittens just yet, but he wasn’t an expert so he’d rather be safe than sorry. He dug his phone out of his pocket when the elevator doors opened and dialed Negan as he walked Carl to his room, opening the door for him.

…

“Okay, boss.” Simon sighed and looked at the window. “May I ask why this kid has grown on you so much?” he asked, giving him a chance to tell him everything since Dwight had previously told him what he saw, which was the kid only in his boxers, all over him while in Negan’s lap.

Negan looked at Simon with confusion on his face, putting his phone back in his pocket. Negan was now half worrying about what was happening with Dwight and not completely focused on Simon’s words. “What do you mean? I just told you his horrible life story. Who wouldn’t he grow on?” He didn’t think Carl would run, but what if it really had all been a rouse? He’d have to commend Carl on being an incredible actor if it was. He bit at his bottom lip as he looked at Simon.

“Dwight told me about what he saw with you two. The boy was in his boxers in your lap, Negan. I know you swing both ways but I didn’t know you liked ‘em young and fucked.” He almost snorted at his own words.

Negan narrowed his eyes at Simon, clenching his fists.  _ Excuse me? _ “Simon, if your fuckin’ ass wasn’t in that hospital bed you’d have a black eye right now. You watch your fuckin’ tongue.” Negan took a deep breath and let it out slowly, glare still set on Simon’s face. Negan couldn’t lie to himself that he certainly was feeling  _ something _ for the boy that he didn’t have a name for, or maybe didn’t want a name for, but he didn’t have to tell Simon that.

“Yeah, Dwight came in when Denise and I were examining Carl’s wounds. Carl was drugged, which I admit, might not have been the best idea. It made him... clingy.” He let his fist relax, thinking about how Carl had loved his touch. “You want me to get Denise in here to vouch for me? Cause I fuckin’ can.”

“Hey, hey, boss I wasn’t trying to be like that. It’s just some peoples thing. It’s called a Savior complex. They’re attracted to broken things, to try and piece it back together. I didn’t mean anything by it,” Simon swore to Negan, putting his hand up to show he meant no offense. “Just like Dwight with every animal he ever had or just his goddamn wife. Her ex was abusive and Dwight needed that boost in his confidence that he helped “save her”. The same with Lady, the same with the turtle in the road, and just pointing it out, you’ve literally named us the Saviors.” Simon laughed.

Negan chuckled, relaxing, running his hand through his hair. “Yeah, I’m a real Florence Nightingale, huh?” He grinned at his own joke, ignoring the fact that it basically admitted the fact that he had more than platonic feelings for Carl.

“Yeah, Negan, you’re getting there.” Simon laughed with a grin on his face.

Pointing at his pocket where his phone was, Negan suddenly said, “Speaking of Dwight and animals though, that is where he and Carl are right now. Saving a cat in the alleyway.” He threw his hands up, scoffing softly. “This place is turning into a zoo.”

Simon laughed and shook his head, not surprised at all. “So, want to go check on your new boy, or you staying here to go over the battle plans with me?”

“As much as I would love to stay here and tell you how we’re gonna kick Rick’s ass, I should really let you rest and heal up. I need to check in on those two-,” Negan stopped as his phone rang again. He barely looked at it before answering. “Yeah?”

“Sir, we are back in 2B. We’ve got a box of newborn kittens and the mother,” Dwight said over the phone.

“Jesus,” he sighed. He turned to Simon, covering the bottom of his phone. “They’ve got the mom and a litter of kittens. Can you believe this?” he shook his head in disbelief, uncovering his phone and telling Dwight, “Alright, just… stay there. I’ll be up soon.” He hung up and looked around. “Where did Denise go? Does she know anything about animals?” Negan could hire a vet no problem, but it would have to wait until after the fight and he’d at least like someone to look at them now. He was sure they probably weren’t in the best health if they were found in a dirty alley.

“She’s busy with some punks that got into a drunken brawl last night.” Simon rolled his eyes sighing a bit.

Negan rolled his eyes. “Alright, well,” he stood from his chair and placed a hand on Simon’s shoulder, squeezing it companionably. “Heal up quickly. Hopefully, I’ll be back tomorrow with some good damn news. Thank you again, Simon.”

“Okay, Sir, will do.” Simon said with a short nod, nestling back into the bed and trying to rest his eyes. Negan smiled at the other man before dropping his hand and making his way out and to the elevator.

…

Dwight tucked his phone away and turned to Carl. “Negan’ll be here soon,” he explained. Looking into the box he watched the kittens crawl over their mother and drink her milk. They seemed content. “So, the mom is Olivia, huh? What should the others be?”

Carl smiled as he went to the middle of the floor, putting the box down on the carpet. They looked so cute. “These two will be Jadas and Kevin and Judith will name the other two.” He touched their little heads with his fingers. They looked thin but not too roughed up. 

Dwight smiled at the boy’s actions. It was amazing to Dwight how such a gentle kid had shot up the place barely a day ago. He took a seat in the chair at the nearby desk and watched Carl and the cats. “If you’re gonna be sticking around, I should introduce you to Lady,” Dwight said off handedly. “She’s my dog. A little Boston Terrier. I found her the same way we just found these guys.” He pointed to the cats. “Since I work a lot, she’d love the company.”

“Yeah I’d love to meet her.” He giggled a bit, rubbed one kittens head which was clearly his favorite. It was white with tan and black spots. “I love animals so much. They’re so sweet and amazing, and oh my god, they’re so cute.” He smiled more. Carl was still petting the kitten before taking out a chicken nugget from his pocket, breaking it up and feeding it to the Mom as a peace offering.

Dwight watched Carl as he fed the mother cat. She seemed to like him already. “Yeah, they’re pretty great.” Dwight wondered if Negan was going to allow Carl to keep all the cats. Maybe one or two, the mom and one baby perhaps, but certainly he wouldn’t allow five cats to run amuk in this place.

There was a knock at the door before it opened and Negan stepped inside. Dwight sat up straighter in the chair.

“Well, well, well. What have we here?” Negan said with a smirk, crouching down next to Carl to look into the box. He let out an impressed whistle at the sight of the cats. 

Carl laid with the cats in the box before taking out his favorite kitten, laying him on the ground giggling happily. “He is amazing. I love him so, so much Negan. He is so cute, and I love him. His name is Ronny,” he said giggling as he cuddled the kitten on his chest. The mother hopped out of the box and went to Carl, trying to get her head into his pocket to get another and the last chicken nugget.

Dwight cleared his throat when Carl picked the kitten up. “Um, Carl, those kittens are  _ minutes _ old. I really don’t think you should be picking them up so much. Their eyes aren’t even open yet.”

Negan nodded at Dwight’s words. “Yeah, put him back in the box, Carl,” Negan said, pointing at it. “I’ll get a vet in here as soon as I can, but until then, just leave them in the care of their mother.” Negan looked to Dwight. “Call down to the kitchen and order a bowl of water and a can of plain tuna. I’m not sure how nutritious chicken nuggets are for cats.” Negan raised an eyebrow at Carl. Dwight nodded and did as he was told.

Carl pouted when he was told to place the kitten back. “Come on what harm could it do?” he asked pouting. “I’ve held human babies this young. I’m gentle,” he said cuddling his cheek into the kitten before putting the kitten back into the box. 

It only took a few minutes before the food and water arrived. Negan took both, opening the can of tuna, and setting them both down in front of the mother cat. He reached out and let his hand softly rub down her back. “What’s her name, then?” he asked Carl.

“The mom’s name is Olivia,” he said. “Isn’t she cute?” He smiled looking up at Negan smiling, still on his knees next to the box. Yesterday, they were in the same position only Negan’s hand were around his neck.

Negan placed his hand softly on the top of Carl’s head. “Yeah, she sure is a cute one,” he said, smiling down at Carl.  _ Just like someone else I know _ , he thought but did not say out loud.

Olivia sniffed at the open can of tuna and promptly started chowing down on it. Negan hoped she wouldn’t eat too much too fast and throw it up. He’d dealt with enough vomit already. He looked back up to Dwight. The other man was looking curiously at Negan’s hand on Carl, but he didn’t say anything about it.

“Thank you, Dwight, for helping Carl out,” Negan said to him.

Dwight nodded and stood up. That was his cue that he was done. “Of course, Sir. I’m going to go help get everyone ready for the fight. See you in the morning, Carl,” he said, giving the boy a small wave and and exited the room. Negan sighed and let his hand fall down the back of Carl’s head, fingers threading through his hair. He watched as Olivia finished half the can of tuna before returning to the box, calling for her kittens who all piled up on her.

Carl smiled at the man, rubbing his head back against the man’s hand. He loved it, the touch. “Why are you petting me?” he asked, not wanting the man to stop but wanting to know why he was touching him so affectionately. “And, I wouldn’t have hurt her. I was taking care of Judith from the second I took her out of my mom,” he said. “I know how to be gentle.”

Negan flinched his hand back, afraid he had upset Carl. “Oh, I- sorry. I just…” he knew why he liked to touch Carl, but he wasn’t about to admit it. “I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to.” Carl hated that he almost instantly let out a pitiful whine when Negan’s hand was pulled away, he did his best to control himself and not beg the man to touch him again.

Negan sighed. “And, I know you can be gentle. I didn’t think you were going to try and hurt it, but I don’t know anything about kittens, Carl, and it would really just make me feel better if we just let them be until I can get a vet in here, ok?” He wanted to reach out and pet him again, his hand even going towards the boy, but he stopped it and pulled back.

“No!” Carl yelled slightly before realizing how loud he was. “No, I mean, I like it,” he said again, softer, looking up at Negan. He scooted on his knees closer to the front of the man. “I won't touch the kittens, but I like that, I like it when you touch my head.”

Negan felt a shiver run down his spine. Carl on his knees, looking up at him, and basically asking Negan to touch him was  _ such _ a turn on. Oh god. Negan bit his lip as he reached his hand out again, unable to stop the slight quiver in it. Placing it lightly on Carl’s head, he pet the boy’s head, reveling in the feeling of his soft hair. He smoothed it down the side till he was cupping Carl’s cheek in his hand. He ran his thumb under the smooth skin under Carl’s good eye.

Carl felt a bit embarrassed but hell at least he was safe and he was getting what he wanted. He nuzzled his cheek into the mans rough hand and sighed as he felt the hand pulling throw his loose brown waves of hair. “I’m sorry Negan. About tomorrow,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry for Maggie,” he whispered a little.

Negan crouched down in front of Carl, bringing up a second hand and copying the other side. He lightly caressed the scarred skin under Carl’s bad eye that was still uncovered. Carl blushed pink across his cheeks and nose as his face was held so lovingly. He actually felt a tingle run down his back and a burning feeling begin in his chest.

Negan shushed Carl lightly. “Don’t be sorry. It is what it is, and we’re going to make things better for a lot of people,” he said, cocking his head to the side. “And Maggie is a strong lady. She’ll be just fine. You just worry about yourself and your sister, alright?”

Negan let his hands trail back and down till they hovered over Carl’s neck. The bruises from Negan’s hands were there, bright and fresh. Negan frowned, ghosting his fingers over the bruises. “I’m… not sorry that I saved myself, but I am sorry that I had to hurt you to do it,” he said, his gaze flicking back up to Carl’s.

Carl gave him a confused look before remembering. “Oh, yea, it’s okay,” he said. “I deserve it.” He laughed a little. “It didn’t hurt too bad, just got a little dizzy and it was only for a few minutes. I still love my dad after everything, so you’re forgiven, I guess?” He laughed again, not knowing if the man wanted forgiveness or what.

Negan smiled sadly. “You don’t have to forgive me, but thank you.” He moved his hands back up, holding Carl’s blushing cheeks. God, he looked so good with the pink in his cheeks. Negan just wanted to touch more of him. He wanted to deepen that blush. He wanted to make him feel good. 

Carl nodded a bit at Negan’s words. In his own head he thought, ‘way more than just forgiven.’ He let out another breath melting more into the man’s touch the further on it went. 

Moving his hands back, Negan ran his blunt nails from behind Carl’s ears, up along the back of his head. Carl’s soft hair felt amazing as he moved his fingers back and forth, massaging the back of his head and upper neck. “Is this ok?” he asked softly.

Carl felt so warm and safe which he wasn’t used too. “Yes, it’s okay,” he said, absorbing the affection as if it was water and he had been a dying plant. “I really hope this isn’t a trap. Please, don’t be a trap,” he whispered before turning his head and kissing the side of Negan’s hand.

Negan sucked in a breath at the kiss, his hands stuttering in their movements. A blush was creeping up his own neck. He swallowed down the lump that formed in his throat and dropped down to his knees instead of his crouch. His knees fell on either side of Carl’s, bracketing the boy in. Negan took a deep breath and hoped he wasn’t overstepping anything. Leaning forward and pulling Carl towards him slightly, Negan placed a soft kiss to his forehead, leaning back after to assess Carl’s reaction. 

Carl was taken back by the initial movement off falling to his knees but quickly adjusted as he was pulled into the other man, breathing in the sent of his cologne, or maybe his clothes, or maybe it was just him but he liked it. He felt weird for a second when the man’s lips touched his forehead but soon he smiled into it, just looking at Negan’s chest, not looking him in the eyes. His chin and cheeks were prickly with hair, something that Carl had never grown before.

Negan gave Carl a small smile. He trailed his fingers back to his face. “Was that ok?” he asked. Carl hadn’t pulled away and he wasn’t running away from him now, so he assumed it was alright, but he wanted to make sure. He still wasn’t sure where exactly Carl’s feelings were with him, but he’d move as slow as need be.

Carl did squirm a little. Not because he was uncomfortable, but just because he never could sit still. “Yes, it’s okay,” he said. He liked that Negan kept asking. Like he was making sure. “But, we should both rest up before tomorrow,” he said, looking down nervously.

Negan nodded. “Yes, that we should. Everything should be ready for us so we can just get up and go.” Negan explained, dropping his hands from Carl. He stood up, holding out his hand to the boy to help him up as well. Carl took the hand and pulled himself up, shaking a bit as he thought about tomorrow. “This is your room, of course, so I’ll leave you here. If you need me dial “11” on that phone.” Negan pointed to said phone on the stand. “Is there anything you need before I go?”

“No, I’m good.” He blushed up at him nervously. “Just, lets not die.” He laughed a little.

Negan laughed at that, a full hearty thing. He grinned at the kid, reaching out and giving him one last pat on the head. “I can’t promise it, but we’re gonna give it our fucking best, kid. If I go out, I’m going out swinging.” He winked at Carl before moving towards the door. “Alright. Try to sleep now, ok?”

Carl nodded and went over to his bed, sitting down, sighing. “Okay, I’ll try. You get sleep too,” he said, watching Negan open the door. “Wait!” He swallowed thickly. “Negan.” He licked his lips. “Do you, like, believe in heaven?”

Negan backtracked into the room at Carl’s words. He looked at the boy quizzically. Shit. Asking him philosophical questions. What could Negan say?

He sighed and closed the door, walking over and sitting next to Carl on the bed. Negan pondered the question for a moment before running a hand down his face. “I don’t know, kid,” he said, “I’d like to believe in it. This world is so shitty, I’d love to believe there’s a better place we go when we die. But I just… I don’t know.”

He shook his head, looking down at his feet. The only thing he could think of was Lucille. He took a deep breath and let it out slow. “But, my wife did,” he started softly, “so I believe that she’s there, or at least somewhere, and she’s watching me. Making sure I don't royally fuck up.” He huffed a laugh. 

Carl smiled a little. He really hoped that about everyone too. He hoped his mom was there. He hoped all the animals he ever owned was there. He hoped every person he ever cared for was there. “Do you like believe all that stuff?” Carl asked nervously. “Like about having to be a virgin, and be pure and shit? Like about not sinning?” He asked, thinking about all those times, all the lives he had taken, and going back to earlier that day, did he even count as a virgin? “I just wanna know. I heard so many things,” he muttered nervously as his heart thumped in his chest like bass drums. “I feel mad just thinking about it.”

Negan scoffed and shook his head, looking over at Carl. “Nah, kid, that stuff is a load of crap. No one can be ‘perfectly pure’,” he said with air quotes, “and there ain’t no one who hasn’t ‘sinned’.” That was one of the reasons why Negan couldn’t get behind the idea of heaven or hell or God or what have you. Who was an omnipresent being to judge him for his choices? He knew he’d done some bad things in his life, but he also did a lot of good for his friends, and that was good enough for him.

“No, it’s not about your actions. It’s about your heart,” Negan said as he reached over and squeezed Carl’s shoulder. “And trust me, you’ve got a good one.”

Carl smiled and nodded slowly, nuzzling the back of the man's hands. “Thank you. I think that's the way it is.” He smiled and looked up at him, only his eye looked sad. “Tomorrow will be good. When we come back, Judy can name the rest of the kittens, and it’ll all be great.”

Negan smiled and gave him a firm nod. “Yes. I look forward to meeting her.” He pat Carl on the cheek before standing from the bed. “Alright, you get some rest now, ok?”

He smiled and nodded. “Yes, Sir,” he said and watched him walk to the door. “Good night, Negan.”

“Good night, Carl.”

...

Negan lay awake in his bed staring at the ceiling. The calm before the storm always made him anxious. He wish he could see the future. See if this plan was going to work. See how many people were going to die. Would the lives saved out weight the deaths? Would they bring Rick down for good? Would Carl and Judith like living with Negan?

He turned to his side and pulled the blanket over his shoulder. Shutting his eyes, he tried to turn his mind off. Regardless, morning would come whether he got sleep or not, and regardless, he’d be ready for a fight. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to roll out to Rick's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a roleplay written by myself and [matthew-the-neko-boy](https://matthew-the-neko-boy.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.
> 
> In this chapter, I'm Negan and Dwight and Gina (OC), and Matt is Carl.
> 
> Just wanted to let you guys know that I am going to be gone this next week. I'm going to visit my mom for Thanksgiving and won't have my laptop with me, BUT I'm still gonna try and get you the next chapter while I'm there. So, sorry for the cliffhanger, but thank for reading! Things are gonna get real wild soon!

Soon, beaming light shined through the window. Carl’s large bambi eye was only opened a crack so the little light shining through looked like golden ribbons flowing across the room. It was almost five am.

Carl pushed himself up with his little arms. He looked almost like a fawn, small in the large queen sized bed. He got up and crawled to the end, off the bed and went to the bathroom. He splashed some water on his face before taking a hair brush out. He wet it before brushing his hair back, tying it in a loose bun so it wasn’t in his face.  

He looked at himself in the mirror and didn’t know how to feel. He didn’t like his face. It was thin, his cheek bones were high and his nose was small. He felt like he looked too girlish. His jawline was sharp, but that was due to being so skinny. 

He shook the feeling off, brushed his teeth and used the bathroom before going out to put on some fresh clothes. He then went out to see who was up. They were to meet up at five so he assumed everyone else was already there. Wherever ‘there’ was.

When the elevator doors opened, Dwight was surprised to see Carl already standing in the hallway. “Oh! Carl, c’mon.” He waved the boy towards him. “I was just coming to wake you. It’s time to meet up downstairs.” His voice was level, but there was a hint of urgency in it.

When Carl stepped into the elevator, he pressed the very bottom button on the panel. The doors slid shut and they began a long decent. Dwight glanced over at Carl. The boy looked so small, but Dwight knew he had fight in him. “You ready for this?”

Carl nodded. “Yeah, I’m really ready. I’ve been ready for so, so long,” he said looking at the buttons. “So, is everyone else ready?” he asked, running up his sleeves. His wrists were thin and looks like he had wrist bands on because of the bruising.

“They’re getting there,” Dwight answered with a nod.

“I’m so excited to see my sister. Do you have family?” Carl asked Dwight.

Dwight nodded. “A wife.” He said no more. He couldn’t think about her right now or else he’d start thinking about what would happen to her if he didn’t come back. 

The doors opened and he gestured for Carl to follow him. “C’mon, everyone is gathered in the garage.” Dwight led Carl through a dimly lit concrete tunnel system. They were definitely underground, and even though the tunnels weren’t marked, Dwight was confident in his steps.

It wasn’t long before they came upon a large open room, packed with people, weapons, and armoured trucks. One side of the room was Maggie’s people, the other Ezekiel’s, and in the middle, Negan’s. Everyone had their vision trained to the front of the room where Negan stood atop the front truck, bathed in flickering yellow light.

When Negan saw Dwight and Carl appear, he grinned.  _ Finally. _ He twirled his barbed wire bat in his hand. It felt good to hold her in his grip again. It had been too long since he bashed some heads in. “Alright, alright, people. Listen up!” Negan said, clearing his throat and raising a hand in the air. The murmur from the crowd stopped.

“We have joined forces today to take down a common enemy. The stories you’ve heard of Rick Grimes? The sickening, inhumane, monstrous stories?” He leaned back, pausing for a moment. “Well, I am here to tell you that all those stories you've heard... aren't even the worst of it." A few hushed voices in the crowd gasped.

“We have gathered here today to take the prick named Rick DOWN! We have gathered here today to save innocent lives that he has trapped in his hell hole. We have gathered here today to bash some  _ fucking _ heads in!” Negan raised Lucille into the air and a roar of agreement rang out through the crowd.

Carl watched what was happening. The air of rage and excitement was nearly intoxicating. The way Negan spoke was fluid, clear, and clean like he was built for these kind of speeches. Everyone was so eager to fight it was almost nauseating. Carl was still in the naive mind set that killing was always, no matter what, inherently bad, but the men and women here today were almost celebrating before the fight had even begun.

"We are going to take that bastard down so that he can not harm a single man, woman, child, or animal EVER again!" Another cheer of agreement. “What say you?” A louder cheer echoed through the garage and Negan grinned wolfishly, his white teeth shining in the dim light. “That’s what I fucking thought! Let’s go!” Everyone scrambled to get into their vehicle as Negan pointed at Carl across the room. He motioned for him to come to him before jumping down from the top of the truck.

Carl made his way through the crowds quickly pushing past everyone to get to Negan. He got to him and instantly grabbed the elbow of his leather jacket as to not lose him as he too climbed into a truck.

“So, are we just gonna kill everyone there?” He laughed a bit out of nervousness, trying to play it off like it was nothing. Daryl couldn’t die. He wouldn’t let anyone hurt Carl, so Carl had to so the same for him.

“Don’t worry,” Negan said, sliding into the seat next to Carl. They were in the back of the truck with a few other men and a couple women, all decked out in riot gear. One was the woman from the front desk that had let Carl and Dwight outside. The doors to the truck shut and Negan hit Lucille against the roof a couple of times, signalling that they were ready to go. “The plan has already been explained to everyone. We know who to hurt and who not to. Plus, we’ve got more tranquilizers than actual bullets.” Negan laughed, giddy with excitement. “The speech is just to rile people up, kid. Get them pumped and make them forget that their own lives are on the line.”

The truck jerked as it started up and began rolling out. The woman from the front desk waved her hand in front of Carl to get his attention. “Hey, I’m Gina,” she said, “I saw you bring in a box yesterday. Were there kittens in there?” Her eyes lit up. “I was just wondering if you’d be willing to part with one once it was old enough to leave its mom. I’ve got a little boy who’s been begging me for a pet, and I think a kitten would be perfect!” She giggled, a strange sound for a woman holding a large gun and with a gas mask hanging around her neck.

Carl smiled at the women. “My name is Carl,” he said. “My sisters name Judith.” He thought of Judy in his head. “Judith just turned four,” he said excitedly. “And of course you can! I’m sure he will appreciate the kitten.”

Gina grinned. “Oh, thank you! My son, Noah, is five! Perhaps they could play together sometime.”

Carl looked up at Negan with a smile. Negan smiled back at Carl, glad that he was willing to part with one of his precious kittens for another kid in need. The truck vibrated beneath their feet as it sped up. They must be on the main road by now.

Carl looked back to Gina. “Will you be coming with us up to dad- Rick’s office?” he asked trying to be a little serious.

Gina cocked her head to the side at his question. “No, I am headed for the auditorium with Maggie and the others assigned there.” Her eyes lit up at Maggie’s name. “I am so excited to be able to fight with her! She’s amazing!”

“Aww, come on, Gina,” Negan laughed. “You’re gonna make me jealous.”

Gina snorted a laugh. “Oh, please, Negan. You’ll get over it.” The others in the truck laughed as Negan fake pouted.

Carl’s smile fell when she mentioned going to the auditorium. “Are you sure?” he asked. He hated sending people there who had children. It was just messed up, but maybe they would be able to better understand how to help survivors if they saw what it was there.

“Course I’m sure,” she said. “Anywhere I’m needed, I’ll go. Especially if Maggie is there!” Negan rolled his eyes but smiled.

“So, black box too then? Or just the theatre?” Carl asked raising his feet off the ground and leaning in to take hold, hugging his knees nervously as he rested his head on top of his knee caps. He definitely noticed how she talked about Maggie. It sounded like she liked her a lot more than just as a good fighter. Maybe even romantically.

“No, I’m just the auditorium,” Gina said, shaking her head.

“I’m black box!” said the man next to her, waving. His tone suggested he was trying to one up her, but Gina just rolled her eyes and shoved an elbow into his side.

Carl looked back over at Negan and said, “Negan, I don’t want anyone to come into me and Judy’s room. I’m going there alone while you guys secure the office with my dad.”

Negan snickered at his employees but then looked to Carl as he spoke. He nodded. “Alright. You’ll be fine in there on your own?”

“Well, I think I’m the only one that's going to fit,” Carl said looking at all the men and women in bulky swat gear and full on military armor. “The room is wedged between the walls, so it can only be accessed through his office. Maybe you could if you took off all your armor,” he said. “Once we have everyone secure.”

In all honesty, he didn’t want anyone to see that shit, it was embarrassing. He felt ashamed, and he wanted them to see the strong powerful killer that sat before them, not the weak and helpless kid that his father had groomed.

“If you can get in, get Judith, and get out, that’s all we need,” Negan stated. Suddenly, the truck came to a halt. Negan threw his arm out in front of Carl to keep him from flying off the seat and looked up towards the driver.

“We’re here, boss,” he said. Negan grinned, wrapping his fingers around Lucille’s handle almost seductively. He licked his bottom lip and looked towards his men. They were all just as antsy as he was, shifting in their seats and waiting for the signal to get out.

Carl put on his vest and his mask.  His hands were shaking as he looked down at the large AK in his hands with two more magazines in his back pocket. He was going to have to kill. He hated how fucking easy this was getting.

Negan held for a moment, waiting for the rest of the trucks to catch up, and everyone seemed to hold their breath. 

“Alright. Let’s go.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fight begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a roleplay written by myself and [matthew-the-neko-boy](https://matthew-the-neko-boy.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.
> 
> In this chapter, I'm Negan and Matt is Carl.
> 
> Heya guys! I’m uploading this chapter from sunny Florida where I’m on vacation right now ;3 I hope you enjoy!

It was still cool out. The morning air was fresh, and it seemed like the best weather ever, but Carl couldn’t be too excited about it with the feeling of inescapable death looming over his head. 

Everyone got out, moving swift and careful as they grew nearer to the tall brick building. Carl felt like his body was moving but not himself. His mind was frozen in place it seemed, like he was watching someone else control his body from above, completely removing himself from the situation.

The first place they broke into were the workers quarters. Most were men, a couple were women, and the vast majority of them were sleeping in their thin military style like cots all lined up and stacked on top of one another. 

When Negan’s crew broke in, Rick’s people jumped up with alertness and ten of the fifty people started to pull out weapons. Carl knew the faces of those who were loyal to Rick, those who would and would now die for their god. Those so consumed and brainwashed by Rick’s evil that they would never be able to be saved. 

Carl pointed and fired the first shot. Getting one of the men between the eyes. He got more after him without a single misfire. It was honestly a goddamn miracle he’d missed Negan in the hallway.

Negan was right behind Carl as they busted into the building, the rest of their people swarming in after. They easily outnumbered this room, and Negan hoped it stayed that way as they moved through.

Negan whistled in astonishment from under his mask as he watched Carl take down four men like it was nothing. How on Earth had he missed Negan himself? Divine intervention? Negan held his treasured bat up and softly said, “Lucille, give me strength,” before he ran headlong into the first one of Rick’s men he could reach. Cocking his arm back, he brought it forward too fast for the man to even flinch. The vibration caused by flesh connecting with wood and wire sent a sadistic pleasure through Negan and he laughed. “Now we’re having a good time! Drinks on me tonight!”

The room was being quickly taken over by Negan’s people. Negan took down a few more men, keeping a look out for the ones they weren’t supposed to hurt. He only had descriptions from Carl to go off of, so it wasn’t very easy. There was a lot of blood and yelling going on as well, which made it that much harder. Negan took everyone in his path down, but left a few men barely alive, ones that might fit the description, but that he wasn’t sure on. 

Around the room, men and women fell left to right. Most put up their hands, trying not to get shot by those of the invaders that were holding guns. Under one of the beds, which were just rusty old frames, was a scared little girl around ten years old. She was keeping quiet trying to hide in with the clothes and bags. She covered her mouth to keep from sound coming out as people began falling all around her. She clutched her small knife tightly.  

Carl got into the hallway and starting going up to north wing. The workers quarters had been the easy part. They didn’t know they were coming. They weren’t ready. But the regular patrollers were, and they’d need to be on their toes for the rest of the raid. A few men hung back in the worker’s quarters to watch over the people who surrendered or who weren’t quite dead yet. 

“Dad’s on the fourth floor. Black box and theatre are on the second,” Carl said to the groups. He looked stable on his feet. The adrenaline made a hell of a difference in his body. He had no pain, no fear, nothing but the feeling of his muscles tightening, screaming at him to not just stand still. He hated to admit it but he missing this feeling, he missed the feeling of nothing on the inside but strong on the outside. 

Negan followed Carl, allowing him to lead since he actually knew where the fuck to go. When he called out the floors Negan turned towards the groups. “Y’all hear that? Black box and auditorium, second floor! Everyone else with us to the fourth!” His voice boomed out, even with the gas mask covering his mouth. People in the groups gave their confirmation.

Negan was vibrating from the fight already. Blood was splattered over his jacket and mask. Bits of people were stuck in the barbed wire of Lucille. He really needed to bust her out more. Not even to hurt people with, but just to practice his swing. He readjusted her in his hand as he followed Carl, waiting to see the next person who would meet her.

Negan watched half the group leave when they got to the second floor. Maggie saluted him and he nodded back to her. He wished her good luck. Who knows what she’d find. Who knows what they were about to find?


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan’s group encounters the first of Rick’s puzzles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a roleplay written by myself and matthew-the-neko-boy on tumblr.
> 
> In this chapter, I'm Negan and Ezekiel a bit, and Matt is Carl, Benjamin (oc), and Jaz (oc).
> 
> I’m still on vacation but I’ll be back by Saturday! Enjoy the chapter!

Negan stuck close to Carl as he started leading them down a hall on the second floor. Apparently the staircase they'd been on didn't go directly to the fourth floor where Rick was, a design feature to keep himself safe, so they had to move to the next one. Negan held Lucille tight as they moved, keeping his eyes open and wits about him.

As soon as they got to the staircase, they found it boarded up so they couldn’t go further. Carl turned to find any path there was besides back downstairs. There was a door on the second floor platform that he went to, pushing it open to find a sheet hung up across the hall. Written on it was, “A virgin's heart will be shattered day after day if a beast is let in. A smart doe should know its place rather than wondering into a wolves den.”

Negan read the sheet over Carl’s shoulder and frowned. He didn’t like that one bit. “It kinda sounds like he knew we’d be coming, huh?” he comments, nodding towards the note.

Carl looked down, feeling like he was going to be sick. “This is just fucking bullshit,” he said going over to the sheet ripping it down and jumping back waiting for it. Five large spikes came down from the ceiling. 

“I think I just shit myself,” Benjamin, a young soldier who came with Ezekiel, whispered to his friend and fellow soldier Jaz. She nodded, staring at the spikes.

“I’m fucking done, dad! I don’t want to play anymore!” Carl screamed at the walls.

“Holy shit,” Negan said under his breath, looking at the spikes. “Are there more of those around here?” he asked Carl, pointing to them. He looked back at Ezekiel and all his men, giving them a silent look to watch out.

“Well, no shit?” Carl said to Negan. “He wants to impress you guys,” he said, prying one of the spikes out of the ground and using it as a blind person would use a cane, tapping it on the ground in front of him as he walked.

Negan scoffed and followed Carl, keeping behind him as he obviously knew what was going on here. “Impress us or kill us?”

“No. If he wanted you dead, you’d be dead,” Carl said. Negan rolled his eyes. Getting to the end of the hallway, they reached another staircase. This time there was a pin-pad lock on the door. The note above it said, “Behind every door is a hint for life. Beware that I already know the answers for those who step foot in my halls. You will open up about your pasts and your intent. Do not fear my little lambs. No one will be served to me if they are truthful.”

“This is so much bullshit,” Carl said again sitting down against the door. “I’m feeling kinda tired,” he said a bit more quietly.

Negan examined the note and frowned. He looked down at Carl and hummed. “Come on, kid. We can’t give up now. I promised to save your sister and that’s what I’m gonna do,” Negan said, looking at the pin-pad. “What’s the code, hm?”

“I’m feeling a bit tired too...” A young woman from Ezekiel's team said softly sitting down on the floor. 

“I don't know the pin. You gotta open the doors to find it,” Carl said.

Negan looked back at the girl on the floor and hummed. Both her and Carl had lost their gas masks in the scuffle downstairs, and Negan started putting two and two together. “Zeke, you got extra gas masks on you? I think there might be something in the air…” Negan pat Carl’s head before going to a door and examining it.

“If I open this door, am I gonna get spikes to the head?” he asked, looking up at the ceiling.

“Not if you put the right code in,” Carl said softly as he reached out and took the gas mask from one of Ezekiel's people. He felt dizzy. “Fuck, I think I'm gonna pass out.” He coughed a bit.

“Put the mask on and take some deep breaths,” Negan said. “And, look where I’m standing. I’m not at the locked door, I’m over here.” Negan waved from where he stood across the hall. “You said we gotta open the doors to find the pin, right? I think we split into teams and see what’s behind these.”

“You’re gonna have to-,“ Carl took a deep breath, “Fucking balls.” He coughed again as the drugs started numbing out his system. “The numbers are you guys, and like inside the rooms... read the thingy....”

“Yeah, I read the thing, kid, and I don’t like it,” Negan huffed. He knelt down besides Carl, helping hold the mask to his face. “Fuck. Carl, come on. Don’t you give in to this. Don’t you let him win.”

“I’m not. I’m just tired,” Carl said looking around to see two other people now down and the first woman out cold. “I’m so fucking tired...help me up?” he asked.

“Of course, kid,” Negan said, hooking his arm around Carl’s frail body and helping him stand. He helped secure the gas mask on his face so it wouldn’t fall off.

Jaz was the first to open a door. In the room she found nothing but a small picture of a bunny rabbit being held by two hands. Negan came over, helping Carl walk to it, and looked in. He hummed, not understanding. “Zeke, this isn’t one of your rabbits, is it?” he called over.

“No, she’s not one of mine,” Zeke said, peering into the room apprehensively.

“She’s mine, my little baby Lucy.” Carl smiled a bit.

“Her name’s Lucy? Lucy has four letter. Maybe four is one of the digits?” Jaz shrugged.

Negan hummed. “Could be… Let’s open the other doors and see what’s in those, yeah?” He helped Carl over to the next door, opening it up. They were greeted with a growling, naked man inside. He was covered in wounds and dirt. In the corner was a child, about two or three, tied up with ace bandages.

“Woah!” Negan cried, immediately pushing Carl behind him and pointing Lucille at the man. “What fucking number is this, huh?” he bit out, going into the room, keeping his eye on the man. He wanted to get to the child, but didn’t know if the man was going to attack or not.

The man just continued to cry at him like a dog, moving on his knuckles and the pads of his feet strangely. When Negan got closer, he got louder and more aggressive, getting closer to him in return.

“Yo, does someone have a tranquilizer gun? Hit this guy for me before I bash his head in,” Negan called to his team, inching around the perimeter of the room, keeping his eye and bat trained on the man.

The man suddenly jumped onto Negan right as the pop of a tranquilizer sounded. “Fuck!” Negan yelled. The man moved to try and take a piece of Negan’s neck, but before he could get a chunk worth of him, Carl tackled the man to the ground. He wasn’t at his full strength, and he was so tired, but adrenaline helped. The man roared as Carl shoved his forearm into the man’s mouth causing him to bite down on Carl’s arm as the trank set in.

Negan quickly tucked Lucille under his arm and went to pull the man off of Carl, tossing him to the other side of the room. “Carl, are you ok?” he asked, kneeling down and examining Carl’s arm.

“Yeah. I’m fine, I’m fine. He didn’t get me too bad. My arm will be fine,” Carl said looking at the bite.

“We’ll get you all patched up when we get out of here,” Negan said with a nod. He sighed and stood up, looking to the child in the corner of the room. He went to them, kneeling again and looking them over.

“Hey,” Negan said softly to the child. “It’s gonna be alright.” The little one was crying at this point, looking at the drugged man, squirming in their bounds. Between their small little thighs was a piece of paper. Negan reached out and took the paper before he picked up the child and went back outside. He handed them off to one of his men with instructions to unbind them and get them out before he glanced at the paper and read, “Age is an important number. How old were you went L and N met?”

Negan dropped the paper, pursed his lips, and took in a deep breath, closing his eyes. “It says, ‘how old were you when Lucille and Negan met’,” Negan told the group. “Is it directed at me? Is it my age? It can’t be you, Carl, you wouldn’t have been born yet.” He rubs his face. “If it’s me, the answer is twenty-one.”

“Twenty one, okay...” Benjamin hummed and wrote down all the numbers everyone was getting from the rooms.

Carl looked up at Negan. “What do you mean? What does this number have to do with me being born?”

“It’s just worded funny,” Negan says. “It says ‘how old were  _ you _ ’. Rick couldn’t have known who’d pick up the paper. ‘You’ could be anyone.” He looked around at everyone and then back to Carl. “Right?”

Carl nodded a bit but shrugged. “He’s my dad. He always will know...always,” he said sighing. “If it was me it would be zero, if it was you, twenty-one? Split the difference? I have no idea.”

“Let’s wait till we have all the numbers and see if one makes more sense than the other,” Negan said. He looked to the next door and steeled himself, rolling his shoulders back and adjusting his grip on Lucille. “Come on. Let’s go.”

All the rooms were unlocked but the one with the pin-pad lock. All of them that Negan and Carl didn’t open had solid questions. “How many people are dead?”, “How many bones are in a newborn's body before I meet them?”, “How long can the average human last without their limbs?”, “How many sins did N commit by the time J was born?”

Negan groaned looking at all the papers and all the numbers they had written down. God, he hated this. Why couldn’t it be normal riddles? Why’d it have to be anything at all. “I’ll hand it to him,” Negan said, going to the pin-pad lock and examining it. “Your dad sure knows how to make a fucking distraction.”

Benjamin smiled and ran over. “I think I have the answer! It has to do with the way we opened the doors not the actual answers to the questions. It’s 9 5 6 2 8 4!”

“Kid, if this works, you get a raise,” Negan said with a wink to Ezekiel who rolled his eyes. He just wanted to be out of here as well. He signed up to take down Rick, not play games.

Negan took the pin-pad in hand and punched in the numbers just the way Benjamin had said them, holding his breath when he hit the last one. As soon as he did, there was a bit of a rumbling before suddenly the ceiling came crashing down on top of them. Negan yelling, “Shit!” was the last thing most of them heard before the world went dark.

It was a fake ceiling meant to crash down when they got the answer wrong. It wasn’t made out of solid heavy cement, but instead a dried clay based rock that was crumbly. It was light for its volume, but still heavy enough to knock out nearly everyone. It wasn’t meant to kill them. Just scare them enough into doing better. 

Carl started to wake up and felt sick. His head was pounding. His hair and face were covered in fine dust from the crumbled clay. Carl coughed out the dust, doing his best to push off the larger chunks so he could sit up. His vision was blurry and his ears were ringing but he didn't think he had any broken bones. Just- well, he wasn’t really sure yet.

Negan busted out from under his pile of rubble with a gasp. His mask had luckily stayed in place, but the dust had clogged the filters and he was having trouble getting air in. He ripped the mask off and coughed as he looked around, squinting. “Carl? Zeke? Y’all ok?” he called, pushing more of the ceiling off of him and picking up Lucille from where she stuck out of the mess.

Zeke was already on top of Benjamin, “Ben, buddy, wake up.” Ezekiel pet the boy’s hair as well as roughly pat the boys cheek.

It took a moment but the boy did respond, whining a bit. “I’m tired. I’ll do it later,” Benjamin said groaning tiredly.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s time to wake up, young warrior. We got a lot to do.” The king helped the young man sit up. Carl was still wobbly, sitting up on his hands, confused looking.

Negan looked up to the now open ceiling and then down at the rubble they were covered in. “Jesus…” he mumbled. He looked over everyone groaning and sitting up. “Alright, show of hands. Who’s alive?” he barked out, getting a couple hands in the air and a few shouts. Those who could get out started digging their teammates out and helping them up. All in all, everyone seemed okay, just shaken.

Negan sighed and looked back to the locked door. “Benji, I don’t think those numbers were right,” he said, coughing a little and dusting himself off. “Anyone else got any bright ideas?”

“Can we like climb out into the stairwell now that the ceiling is gone?” Jaz asked.

Carl shook his head. “Dad doesn’t like when people cheat at the game.” Carl rubbed his head. “I feel so sick…” He coughed a bit more, just holding his now broken gas mark in his hands. 

Negan frowned and made his way to Carl, placing his hand softly on his head. “C’mon, kid. You gotta hold it together just a little longer,” he said, kneeling down next to Carl. “Can you think of what the numbers would be? We have all the ones from the puzzles, but that’s too many for the pin-pad, you know? Is there anything else you can think of?” He softly cupped Carl’s cheek and gave him a sideways smile, coughing slightly from the dust still.

Carl leaned into the hand. “I don’t know. How many numbers can fit on the pin pad?” he asked sitting up a bit with a small sigh.

“Six,” Negan said. “That’s why I thought Ben’s idea would work, but obviously, it didn’t.”

“3, 0, 0, 9, 2, 1,” Carl said after a moment. “Three hundred bones in a newborn. The average person lasts two minutes without limbs. Zero people died.” He sighed. “The ceiling was gonna fall because he didn’t do anything for us to answer the death question thingy. I was nine years old when he got me that rabbit. You were twenty-one when you met your wife, so you must have committed ninety-two sins since Judith was born,” he said. “Those are the right numbers but I don't know the right order and my head is fucking pounding.”

Negan pulled his water bottle from his hip pack and handed it to Carl. “Here, drink this,” he said, stroking Carl’s forehead with his thumb. He sighed and cocked his head, mulling over the numbers. “Ninety-two sins, huh? I wonder what his basis is for that.”

“There are so many sins that we all commit. We probably committed ten while here today,” he muttered sipping the water tiredly.

“Alright, kid. Calm down,” Negan said with a sigh.

He turned to the rest of the team still gathering themselves and told them the new numbers, asking if anyone had ideas for an order. “I mean, we can always just try the order you told me them in,” he said to Carl. “What happens if we guess wrong again?”

“Something bad again,” Carl said rubbing his head.

“How about I try again? I’ll try and see if there is an order to the numbers?” Jaz said.

Negan nodded to Jaz. “I mean… we can always just try them from low to high or high to low, but god, I don’t want to be wrong again,” he said. “Try to find some kinda meaning in the order. Rick is apparently all about meaning. Maybe we can make the numbers spell something?” He was just spitballing at that point, racking his brain for what they could do.

“I think Carl had it right because it answers them in order. Any other order we would need more numbers...300921,” she said.

Negan nodded and stood up, his fingers lingering on Carl’s cheek. “Alright, well… I’m gonna type it in. If something comes out that door, I don’t want you to be first in line.” He moved over the rubble back to the door and looked at the pinpad again. He took a deep breath, gripped Lucille hard, and typed in the new numbers.

“I’ll be fine. I ain’t dying until I see Judith.” Carl chuckled a bit to hide the fear he had when Negan wrote it all in.

Negan took a breath before pressing the last number.

There were two beeps, and then a click.

The door opened.

Negan sighed in relief and pushed the door open slowly with the tip of Lucille. A set of stairs lay beyond it. Carl smiled a bit and got up. “Finally. Lets fucking do this!”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Say hello to Rick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a roleplay written by myself and [matthew-the-neko-boy](https://matthew-the-neko-boy.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.
> 
> In this chapter, I'm Negan and Matt is Carl, Rick, Ezekiel, Ben, and Jaz.
> 
> Here he is! The one and only! Enjoy!

Carl brought them all up to the fourth floor. It was well furnished with nice, paisley patterned and marooned colored carpet. It matched the matte cream walls lined with strange items that had been framed in polished maple stained frames. There were watches, necklaces, hats, teeth and hair… to name a few.

They soon came up on a frame all by itself, not near any of the others. Carl paused and looked at it, examining the velvet black drawstring bag framed inside. He quickly used the butt of his gun to break the glass and reached in to take the baggie. He was doing his little crazy twitch again.

Negan hummed as he examined the objects framed on the wall. He didn’t like that at all. He shot a look to Ezekiel like, ‘You see this weird ass shit?’ but before he could get a response the shooting started. “Fuck!”

Two men in riot gear appeared down the hall and began shooting at Negan and Ezekiel’s people. Carl was behind three other men, so he was fine and unhit, but two of the men in front of him went down. There wasn’t anything for Negan to hide behind, being in the middle of the hallway, so he took direct action and unholstered the glock that was on his thigh, leaning back and shooting at the men. He got one right through the face shield of his helmet, the bullet shattering the plastic as it drove into his face. He hit the floor with a yell and wasn’t going to get up soon.

The other was taking heavy fire from Negan and Ezekiel’s men as he was obviously outnumbered. Carl got up and started to fire as well. He needed to get to Rick. He just held down the trigger, mowing him down. Even his riot gear couldn’t stop the onslaught of bullets. Negan wooped as he fell next to his partner, crumpled on the floor.

Carl walked down the hall to the last door on the left and looked at it, shaking. His dad knew he was here. He wasn’t stupid. He’d left the puzzles and traps, but in the end, he wanted them to find him.

The door made Carl sick to look at. The large oval shaped embroidered, handle. The carved mahogany. Carl opened the door, gently, almost submissively.

Negan motioned for the rest of the men to stay behind him as he watched Carl softly open the door. He didn’t seem afraid that anyone was going to jump him so Negan saw no use in barreling in. Though, he was still on his guard. Just because they had found Rick didn’t mean all his tricks were finished.

“Hey, baby boy. Long time no see. Haven’t been away from your daddy this long since you- well, you remember.” Rick chuckled sadistically with a big grin spreading across his lips. He was at his desk, behind it, his hands were up in an ‘I surrender’ position. He was well groomed, well dressed and looked one hundred percent sane. He was not the deranged wild brute that the stories of him made him out to be.

At the sound of Rick’s voice, Negan stepped forward, right behind Carl, so Rick could see him. Lucille was at his side, dripping with blood and flesh. The glock was still in his other hand but he knew he couldn’t shoot Rick… not fatally anyway. A wide grin spread over Negan’s face, white teeth gleaming. “Heya,  _ Prick _ .”

He looked around the room, noting the closet door at the back of it. If Negan remembered from Carl’s map correctly, that door was their goal.

“Now what are you doing, Carl?” Rick asked shifting in his chair, his hands remaining up. “You’d betray your own daddy for someone like this? What could he offer you which I couldn’t?”

“We just want Judith, dad. I- please,” Carl stammered on his words shaking. He felt like he was trapped here again. Alone with the man. Powerless. He didn’t say anything, just went forward and grabbed a set of keys off the red mahogany desk. It had around fifteen of them.

As Carl’s fingers wrapped around the keys, Rick slammed his knee up against the inside of the desk and watched as Carl and six other young people, Benjamin and Jaz included, fell to their knees screaming, holding their heads in agony.

“Make it stop!” Jaz sobbed, covering her ears. Benjamin threw up from the pain as he screamed bloody murder.

“Daddy, please!” Carl said, sobbing, doing his best to block his ears.

Ezekiel ran to Benjamin, panicked. He didn’t see or hear anything. “Whats wrong?!” Ezekiel asked, confused and scared.

“He’s got a fucking high frequency transmitter!” Negan shouted to Ezekiel over the screaming. Holy  _ shit _ . Who even thinks to install one of those unless you’re purposely subduing young people?

Negan felt his rage ignite and he stomped over to Rick’s desk, pointing his gun right at his face. He knew he couldn’t kill him for Carl’s sake, but he could damn well threaten to. “Turn it off, you prick.” Negan raised his foot and gave a solid kick to Rick’s desk, pushing it towards him about an inch. “ _ Now _ !”

Rick smiled at Negan. “You’re a smart one,” he said and chuckled. “But I can’t turn it off just yet. Not until he behaves. You’ll behave Bambi, won’t you?” He turned to Carl and once the boy nodded Rick hit his knee up twice. Ben and Jaz panted on the ground, shaking, as the noise stopped. Ben wiped his mouth of the vomit. 

Carl was shaking. He put the gun down shaking his head, covering his ears. “No, no don’t talk to me! Fuck!” he said. He felt like his brain was pulling a muscle and it was about to snap.

Rick smiled at him. “No, it’s okay, Bambi. Shh,” Rick said and looked at the trembling boy. “You want to behave, Carl. I know you want to be good. Now, pick up the gun, baby.”

Negan took a step closer to Rick, the desk still in between them but his reach with the gun only about a foot away. “Do NOT talk to him,” he growled at Rick. “You don’t deserve to.”

Without looking away from the other man, Negan called out, “Carl, don’t you fucking listen to him. Get up. Go get your sister. Remember why we’re here.”

“And you,” he indicated to Rick with his gun. “Stand up. Keep your hands up, don’t fucking touch anything, and get away from your desk.” He gestured with Lucille for Rick to step to the opposite side of the room that Carl was currently on. He was so tempted to just hit the man somewhere safe with Lucille. Like the shoulder or arm, but he kept it cool to see if he’d follow his orders.

Carl wasn’t getting up or doing anything. He felt sick. Like some fucked up abused animal.

Rick smoothly stood from his chair, hands still up and smile still on his face. He looked from Negan to Carl, who was starting to slowly stand up.

Before anyone could do anything, Carl aimed and shot Rick, hitting him in the leg and watching him go down. Negan jumped in surprise, but smiled a little, watching Rick hit the floor.

“You little brat!” Rick screamed, holding his leg. “You’re fucking dead!” He glared.

Carl ignored him and booked it to the closet. He ripped the door open and started to throw its contents out to get to the back. Rick watched him while blood seeped out of his leg and between his fingers. He started to laugh coldly, the sound sending a shiver up Negan’s spine. He glared at the man on the floor and growled. Rick looked up at him with shiny, unfeeling eyes, and grinned sardonically.

“The little hole haver isn’t in there.” 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's check on Maggie, shall we?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a roleplay written by myself and [matthew-the-neko-boy](https://matthew-the-neko-boy.tumblr.com) on tumblr.
> 
> In this chapter, I'm Maggie and Matt is everyone else.
> 
> Trigger warnings: Depictions of dead and dying children, minor character graphic death
> 
> After reading this, you'll think Negan and his crew had it easy.

Maggie held her gun at the ready as her and her group entered into the new section of Rick's compound. She tried to stay alert and ever ready, unsure what they'd be faced with, but prepared for the worst. Her people followed closely, everyone keeping their eyes open.

As they walked, a horrible smell in the air began to get stronger. It wasn't overpowering, but it was something bad. As soon as they came to a cross roads and were about to look side to side, they could see what was making the grotesque smell. 

There were six children down the hall all tied to crosses except only one arm was extended which included their index finger, pointing down the hall. Only six were visible but there would undoubtedly be more. Most ranged from the age of three to eight, nearly all were dead, some longer than others. The third child in the line up was so decomposed their skull was showing, while the fifth child was barely breathing, but they were indeed alive.

Maggie gasped and quickly covered her nose and mouth with her gas mask, trying to block out the smell. Her people followed suit, a few gagging. Maggie swallowed thickly and examined the children, trying to keep her rage and tears in check. She tried not to think about the pain the kids had suffered, or were still suffering. She tried not to imagine them all as her own children. It was obviously set up to point them on their way, though that meant it could be a trap. Rick was known to like games.

They didn’t have any other indication of where to go, nor map to look at, so Maggie steeled herself and nodded, starting on the path the children pointed down. She turned back to her group. “I want some of you to stay here and get any child still alive off of these crosses and out of this building,” she called, voice muffled by her mask. “The rest of you follow me and watch out. I don’t like the look of this.”

The trail of children ended up going down two more halls, totaling over thirty children. Maggie couldn’t bare to look at them after one hallway. She kept her eyes down and tried not to listen to their cries and moans, just reminding herself that they were going to get help. Her people would get them down. It’d be ok.

Finally, after the line of children stopped, there was a door with a peephole cut into it, round and glass. Maggie stepped to it carefully and peered through it, holding her breath at what she might find.

There was a pop, and Maggie’s helmet cracked.

The peephole was not a peephole. Instead, she had peered down a barrel of a BB gun.

“Maggie, are you okay?!” One of her men ran to her side to see the dented helmet.

Maggie had instantly dropped to the floor, the force of the shot shocking her. She blinked, her vision fuzzy, and reached out to her teammate. “I… I’m fine! Don’t look into there. It’s a gun of some sort.” She reached up to feel her helmet, finding the dented crack easily. Her head hurt from the impact, but otherwise she felt ok. “Am I bleeding?” she asked, getting helped up and moved from the peephole.

“No, you aren’t. You’re okay,” one of them said rubbing her shoulder. “What’s the plan? Break down the door or try to go to a different room?” he asked, not sure of what to do.

Maggie sniffed and got her bearings for a moment before she looked back at the door. “I say we break it down,” she said. “It’s obviously being guarded for a reason. We have to do it quick though, and stay out of the firing range.”

“Okay, on the count of three?” he asked, stepping back looking at the others waiting for the woman to count down.

“Yeah,” Maggie said. “I want bigger guys up front. More force on the door. Tony, Greg, that’s you guys. Everyone else get ready to support them and have your weapons ready.” She watched as her team quickly got into position and then took a deep breath. “Alright, one… two… three!”

Tony and Greg did the best they could to sync up and hit the door together. The door broke open easily, revealing a room with a man strapped to a table inside. He looked like an addict, covered in needle marks, and it was clear he was crying. He had IVs going into his neck and thighs. He was shaking a bit but looked semi-conscious.

Maggie came in after Tony and Greg, doing a quick look around the room. “See if he’s alright,” she said to Tony, nodding at the man. She made her way around the door, looking to see where the gun that shot her was, or the man who’d shot it. Could it have been the crying man? She didn’t think so, but she was wary of this place now. Things were not as they seemed.

Suddenly, another shot went off, hitting Tony in the leg and causing him to fall before he got to the man. The person wielding the gun stepped out just a bit from behind the door to reveal themself as an eight year old girl.

Maggie gasped.  _ What?! _ She faced the girl, holding her gun up in surrender, though not letting it go. “Hey, hey. It’s ok. We’re here to help,” she said, her tone growing soft. “What’s your name, hun?”

The girl was almost naked except for a t-shirt that was clearly an adults. Her hair was a bit matted. She raised her BB gun again and shot another man that tried to touch the man on the table. Before Maggie could get close she hid back behind the door again, shaking a bit.

Maggie sighed. “Nobody touch him,” she called back to her people. “Just… give me a second.” She got closer to the door before crouching down and pulling out a water bottle from one of her hip pouches. She rolled it behind the door to the girl, waiting to see what would happen.

The girl very quickly drank all of the water before rolling it back, sniffling a little, not moving from her spot behind the door. Maggie smiled and pulled down her mask from her face. She took out a granola bar next, unwrapping it and breaking a piece off, holding it out towards the girl. “Hey, you want some food? It’s ok,” she said quietly, scooting closer.

The girl grabbed Maggie’s wrist firmly in her hand and put her BB gun close to it with the other. She scooted on her knees close enough to the woman’s hand to bend down and eat the granola bar from her hand. Once she was done, she let go of her hand, looking out to see another person touching the equipment attached to the man on the table. Again, they got shot, this time a non-serious wound in the ass.

Maggie jumped a little at the shot and looked back. “Hey, I said to wait,” she whispered harshly before turning back to the girl. She took the rest of the granola from the wrapper and held it to her. “What’s your name, hun? It’s ok. We’re friends. We wanna help you.”

The girl took the bar and started eating it sitting silently watching to make sure no one moved. She finished the bar after a moment or two and just looked at Maggie not sure what to do. Soon, a clicking noise started and the girl looked panicked. She quickly ran to the man taking off the shirt she had and draping it over his face before hiding under the table he was on.

Maggie tensed and stood up, quickly pulling her mask back over her face and looking around. “What is that?” she called out, stepping closer to the man and the girl. About ten seconds later a substance that looked like water began falling from the sprinklers on the ceiling. As soon as it touched the man’s body he started to scream, but he had no ability to get up to protect himself. His skin started to bubble at where it hit him. Luckily, Maggie’s crew had on the outfits to protect themselves. 

“Fuck,” Maggie said softly and waved people over. “Come here! Cover him! Get together and make a shield. Greg, give my your hands.” Together, her team lined up on both sides of the table and grabbed a partner’s hands, covering the man as well they could with their arms.

After about two minutes, the sprinklers stopped and the man’s screaming had softened into soft sniffles. Under the table, the girl was sniffling too, looking at the boots of those surrounding them. Maggie sighed, dropping her arms carefully, shaking off the liquid behind her. She looked back to the man, peeling the girl’s shirt away from his face. “Sir, are you alright? We’re gonna get you out of here, don’t worry.”

Using her walkie-talkie she called one of her team that had stayed behind to get the kids off the crosses and told them to come to the room. Everyone with her was all covered in the liquid, and Maggie didn’t want to touch the man or the girl because of it.

Soon, the other team was by the room. They weren't wearing their gloves since it was hard to undo rope with such bulky gloves on. “What is it, Ma’am?” one man- Matthew- said before slipping in the mixture, falling. He caught himself on his hands, keeping from landing on his face but his hands were now covered in the watery substance. 

“You okay?” The man behind him asked as Matt got up. 

“Yeah, but the floor is damn slippery be careful.”

“It’s not just slippery, it’ll burn you!” Maggie said quickly, eyeing Matt’s hands. “Wash that off quickly! Anyone else who’s dry, we’re gonna need help getting this man and this girl out.” Maggie crouched down to look at the girl, taking her mask off again.

“Hey, it’s ok. We’re gonna get you and your friend here out of here, ok? Does that sound good?” she said softly to the girl. The girl didn’t budge. She was shaking a bit nervously.

“Maggie, I think this stuff is just peroxide?” Matthew said looking at it bubble up a bit as it touched his injured cuticles he had from picking at them.

Maggie looked up at him. “What? It was making this man scream…” She looked to the man on the table again and hummed, wondering if it was something in the IVs reacting to the peroxide. She frowned, not liking being played with like this. “Someone check him over.”

She sighed and looked to the girl again. “Honey, do you want more food? Water? You have to come out and let one of my people help you.” She shook her head a bit and looked around at the feet, scared. She was so tired. She just wanted to rest, but it was hard when your adrenaline was always through the roof.

“I think he’s allergic to it, Maggie, because I think it’s just blood in the IV’s,” one man said.

“Allergic? You can be allergic to peroxide?” Maggie said with a scoff. She shook her head. “Well, fine. In any case, get him out, someone give me another bottle of water and food, and if anyone has a shock blanket on them that too.”

They quickly got the girl out, but as soon as they moved to undo the man's bindings, the sound of gears turning and clanking started to echo throughout the room. Maggie looked around, confused. There wasn’t anything else in the room…

Then she looked up.

A huge six hundred pound weight was dropping down right over top of them. Maggie gasped and screamed in shock, grabbing the person closest to her and yelling,” Get back!” as she jumped away from the table. The weight fell and crushed the man on the table. His eyes popped out first, blood and organs coming out of his mouth, nose, and ears, essentially popping him like a balloon.

Maggie shook slightly as she held onto her man’s arm and stared at the gorey mess for a moment, trying to take in what just happened. She swallowed and shook her head, closing her eyes and breathing deep. Well… they couldn’t do anything for him now. “Alright… come on. Let’s keep moving,” she said to her people. “And let’s keep a look out for traps like this. Be careful getting close to anything. When scoping a room, look up. Keep your masks on and skin covered. Does everyone understand?”

A few souls mumbled, “Yes, Ma’am,” while the rest just nodded silently in shock, still staring at the crushed man. Sighing, Maggie looked around. There was a door that was thin, about twenty inches wide, at the edge of the room that caught her eye. She tugged on the man still in her grasp.

“Look at this,” she said, going over to it. She eyed it carefully, unsure now about opening anything. “Do we need to open this door? What are our other options?”

“We could turn around and go back the way we came, or go in that door. I think only a third of us could fit though.”

Maggie nodded and hummed. “Alright, anyone small enough to fit through through this door, come over here. We’re gonna give it a try. Be prepared for  _ anything  _  to happen when it opens.” A few men and women stepped forward. There were only eleven who believed they could fit. “Ok, get ready,” Maggie said before turning to the door and quickly landing a kick to it.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie reaches the black box, and what does she find?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a roleplay written by myself and matthew-the-neko-boy on tumblr.
> 
> In this chapter, I'm Maggie and Matt is everyone else.
> 
> Trigger warning: Gore, blood and guts, torture. You know, typical Rick stuff.

The door opened into a huge, fantastic looking theatre. It was furnished with amazing filming equipment and rows upon rows of seating, all facing a well lit stage. On the stage, there were three different sections. They were separated by deep red curtains. On the right, closest to them was a woman. Her breasts and seven fingers had been removed, and her stomach had clearly been slashed in. Some skin on her left leg had been removed, and she was missing most of her teeth.

In the middle was a boy. He couldn’t have been older then four. He was singing to himself, hugging his knees, rocking back and forth. The metal cage he was trapped in sat above a hole in the stage. A hole filled with a large fire. The boy’s bum and feet were badly burned from sitting over the fire for so long with no way to escape it.

Lastly, on the furthest left side, was a man. He was strung up like a marionette, his head hanging low on his shoulders, eyes closed tiredly. He was most likely dead. Upon closer inspection, the strings holding him up could be seen to be his entrails positioned to move him like the puppet Rick thought him to be.

Some of Maggie’s men turned back to puke, unable to look at the horrific sadistic scene. Maggie couldn’t even gasp in shock as she looked at the horrible displays on the stage in front of her. Lord, she had heard the stories, she had been a victim herself, she’d seen the children in the halls, but she still wanted to believe no one could be that evil. She had been wrong.

She took a deep breath and turned to the group with her. “Alright, those assigned to the auditorium, check this place out. Help those people and any more you find.” She hoped they could be helped. “Those with black box duty, follow me. Everyone else who couldn’t fit through the door, keep getting those kids down back there.”

“Good luck, Maggie,” Gina spoke up from next to her. Maggie nodded to her before heading towards where she remembered seeing Carl draw the black box on the map back at Negan’s. She avoided looking at the stage as they passed it, knowing she would break if she looked to long at the child in the middle.

“Remember, we’re looking for tapes with Carl’s name on them, and the names Lori, Daryl, and Beth,” Maggie called back to her group.

The black box was upstairs in the on the second level of the theatre. When they broke in, they saw it all.

In the center of the room there was a chair with straps that looked like a gynecology chair. There was torture devices, as well as many sexual ones around, lining the walls. Hammers, ice picks, ball gags, etc.

Near one of the walls was a little girl. She was small and young, fair with thin blonde hair and huge, exhausted, blue eyes. Her cheeks were puffy red and tear stained from crying. There was a screen in front of her. It was playing a clip but it was turned away from the door, so no one but the little girl could see it. Maggie quickly made her way to the girl, becoming enraptured by what was on the screen as soon as she saw it.

On the TV was Carl. He looked young, maybe fourteen. He looked like he had been extremely beaten. His lips were cracked and split. He was naked from the waist up, which was all the frame showed. He was freaking out, but a soothing, deep voice soon spoke.

“It’s okay. Shh, Bambi, it’s okay. Daddy’s got you. He loves you. You’re okay now,” Rick said as Carl’s head was placed in his lap. The man was petting his head and playing with his har. The video panned to the side to show the side of Carl’s head. His eye and around the eye was very badly swollen. “You have a little infection, baby, and daddy has to take care of it.” Before Carl could really react the man got out velcro and strapped the boys head down, forcing him to stay on his lap.  

Hands reached down to hold open the swollen eye and started pouring clear liquid into it. Carl started screaming bloody murder as the liquid got in his eye, mouth and nose. “Daddy! Please, please no! No, I’m sorry!” he screamed. 

“You said it hurt, so now I’m going to make it stop hurting, baby.” Rick dug his fingers into the boys eye until he felt it rest in his fingers before slowly, pulling it out of his skull, feeling the fibers holding the eye in place snap between his fingers. Carl screamed all the while. Rick plopped the eye into a jar which he then put into a black baggie. “It’s gonna go into the frame hall. You should be glad Carl, I’m very proud of you,” he said over the boy’s sobbing and hysteria.

Then the clip began to repeat. The girl just watched it, unfazed, as it had been the thousandth time she’d seen the clip. She had chains on her little wrists keeping her on the floor in front of the screen. Maggie felt the tears streaming down her face as the video replayed. If she even saw Rick, she’d kill him on the spot, promise to Negan be damned.

She gave orders for the others to search the room for the tapes as she moved in front of the girl and kicked the screen with her heel. It shattered, and where the movie had been was now only static. The little girl flinched away when Maggie broke the TV.  She didn’t know who this person was, and seeing as she looked pretty bulky and scary in the riot gear and gas mask, she was not happy. 

Maggie knelt in front of the girl. “Hello, I’m Maggie. I’m going to get you out of here,” she spoke, softly and kindly. “Can you tell me your name?” She reached over and began to examine a cuff, trying to figure out the best way to get the girl out of them. 

The girl shook her head.  “Wan Bubba,” she whimpered up at her, pulling at the cuffs.  She looked so fucking tired.

Maggie frowned at the girl’s reaction, still trying to figure out the cuffs. There was definitely a key involved, but perhaps there was a tool in the room she could use to cut the chain. “Shh, it’s ok, hey, look.” Maggie pulled off her mask and shook her hair out. She smiled at the little girl. “I’m here to help. I’ll get you somewhere safe, ok?”

“Boss,” a voice said from behind Maggie. She turned and addressed the man standing behind her. “I think we found the tapes, but they’re in a safe. What do you want us to do?”

“Watch for traps, and if you can’t find keys, can you lift the entire safe?” she asked. “We could potentially take the whole thing, but search everywhere before trying it just in case that’s not what’s in there.” God, she didn’t want to imagine what else  _ could _ be in there. “Also, find me some bolt cutters would you? There’s gotta be some around here.”

They soon found the keys to the safe but not the cuffs. In the safe was easily over a thousand tapes with all sorts of names on them. There was so many, it was stupidly excessive.

Maggie turned back to the girl, softening her voice. “Hey, don’t worry. Can you tell me your name? How old are you?” When she leaned forward slightly, her golden heart necklace slipped past her collar a bit, shining in the light.

The girl sniffled. “Udy,” she said, having a hard time talking because she didn’t do it much since it wasn’t something that was encouraged. “I ust turn four.” She couldn’t pronounce J’s yet and her F’s weren’t too perfect either. “I want Bubba,” she said to Maggie, not looking her in the eyes since that was trained into her. She looked at the woman’s chest where the golden necklace dangled. If her fingers weren’t trapped in the heavy ball cuffs she’d reach out to play with it.

“Udy?” Maggie repeated, her eyebrows furrowing. “Ud… Judy? Judith?!” Maggie gasped. Was this the little girl they were searching for? She was here and not upstairs like they had thought? She quickly whipped her walkie talkie off her hip.

“Zeke! Judy is in the black box! I repeat, Judith is in the black box. She’s safe, but chained to the floor and we don’t have the key.” As she waited for a response she told Judith, “Don’t worry. We’re gonna get you to your bother safe and sound.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn a bit about Negan’s past and how Rick is involved in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a roleplay written by myself and matthew-the-neko-boy on tumblr.
> 
> In this chapter, I'm Negan and Matt is everyone else.
> 
> Thank you for the lovely comments everyone! So many of you are ready to fight Rick, it’s great. Negan would definitely recruit you ;)

Negan wooped as Carl shot Rick. “Fuck yeah, kid,” he praised. He had been worried for a minute when Carl hadn’t moved, but he was constantly surprising Negan. He watched Carl start digging through the closet before growling at Rick’s words.

Holstering his gun, Negan placed his free hand on Rick’s desk. In one swift movement, he leapt over it, landing next to the fallen man. He reached down and grabbed Rick by the neck, pulling him to a kneeling position and hovering Lucille next to his face. Blood dripped onto the man’s expensive looking suit. Negan’s mind flashed back to when he had Carl in this same position. What a weird deja vu. “Where is she then?” he growled at the man in his grip, shaking him slightly. Negan wondered if Rick would even tell them the truth if he did tell them. Probably not.

“Bambi, what will you do for daddy?” Rick asked. He didn’t need to look over to see the kid was scrambling already, but before Rick knew it, Carl had him by the hair, pulling his head back and putting his gun to the man’s cheek.

“Just tell me where she is!” he yelled, shaking. 

“Now, Bambi, I know you’re not gonna hurt daddy.” He smiled at him. “Now, what are you doing to do?” he said to the boy who had now began crying.

“Please, tell me,” Carl begged as tears fell from his eye and hit Rick’s cheeks. “She’s just a little girl,” he said, his voice beginning to waver. Ezekiel quietly told one of his men to go into the closet room anyway to make sure she wasn’t in there. 

“What are you gonna give me, baby?” Rick said looking at Carl.

“Anything! Okay! I’ll do anything!” Carl screamed in his face. 

“Carl!” Negan barked loudly, glaring up at the boy. He still had his grip around Rick’s neck despite Carl pulling his head back. “Don’t fucking listen to him! Don’t fucking promise him anything! He doesn’t fucking own you, and we don’t even need him to find your sister.” Negan looked back down into Rick’s soulless eyes. “No, we don’t need him at all. We will tear this place apart, brick by brick till we find her, with or without his ‘help’.” If Negan had a free hand to air quote he would have.

Rick just smiled up at Negan. “You won’t kill me.” He laughed staring him in the eyes. He had a lack of any sort of  _ human _ in his tone.

Negan shook Rick out of Carl’s grasp, bringing his face closer to his. With a growl, he said, “You think I won’t kill you?” Negan’s grip around Rick’s throat tightened a hair. “You know, the only reason you’re not dead already is because she convinced me that if I killed you, I’d be a monster. Just. Like. You.” He punctuated his words with a slight tighten of his hand each time he paused.

Rage and bile built up in the back of Negan’s throat. He had fought so long and hard to keep it down, to keep this about Carl and his sister and not about his own history with Rick, but now, with the man’s throat under his grasp, his emotions got the better of him.

“You think I won’t kill you? You kidnapped my wife, and  _ you _ think I won’t kill you? You  _ cut _ her open and  _ sterilized _ her. You sent her back to me in a fucking  _ coffin _ ,” Negan yelled, practically manic. Hot tears built at the corners of his eyes. He did not hear the gasps coming from the other side of the room where Ezekiel’s men stood.

It was common knowledge that Negan and Rick were sworn enemies, but most assumed it was because the two bosses shared sections of the city. It was also common knowledge that, before she had gotten sick, Lucille and Negan had tried for kids but it never worked. The fact that that was because of Rick was knowledge shared only by Negan and a couple close friends. Until now.

“If you think for one  _ goddamn _ second that I won’t  _ fucking _ kill you, you’re more crazy than everyone thinks.” Negan’s grip on Rick’s neck tightened even more. His promise to Carl flashed through his mind, but he ignored it, too filled with rage to care about promises.

Rick smiled up at him and laughed. “Yeah, Lucille fucking screamed for you every second I cut into her. Begging for me to stop. Begging you to save her, but you never came for her,” he said with a slight wheeze.

Carl just stared at them. “Lucille?” Carl was shaking. “Your wife was Lucille?” He was shocked. “No, that can’t be?” Carl just stared, gawking at him.

“And, you won't do shit because you want my son, and he’ll never forgive you if you kill me.” Rick laughed again. “Isn’t that right Bambi?” he asked. 

“Just stop talking Dad! Please!” Carl screamed at him.

“And, you want to know how I did it, don’t you Negan? And I can’t be dead for that,” Rick said.

Negan growled deep in his throat. “ _ FUCK _ .  _ YOU _ .” No, he hadn’t come for her. He had followed the ransom letter he received to a T, thinking it would be enough. Thinking Rick was an evil, but at least sane, individual. But he’d been wrong. So wrong.

Opening the coffin that had been delivered to his doorstep was the most blood chilling thing Negan had ever had to do. Finding his wife, bloody and mutilated, but still somehow alive, was such a bittersweet reunion. Finding out what exactly Rick had done to her from the medic who saved her life was soul crushing. Their chance for children gone just like that. And it was only a short while later that she got sick.

Negan sucked in deep breath, scowl set on his face. He dug his blunt nails into Rick’s throat as he squeezed harder, cutting off most of his air, but not all. He looked up at Carl, his dark eyes hard set and gleaming with unshed tears. He adjusted his grip on Lucille in his other hand. “Carl,” he said, voice gravely. “Let me kill him. Please.”

Carl shook his head. “You can’t kill him now. Maybe later,” he said looking at Negan, shaking. He could tell how upset he was. “I knew her for the month she was here and she wouldn’t want you to kill him. Please,” he said, sniffling.

“How about you pick up that gun and help daddy?” Rick smiled and Carl shook his head.

“No, dad. Just shut up! Does anyone have a trank?” Carl practically begged the crowd. Ezekiel came forward and shot Rick in the neck with a tranquilizer. Within a few seconds, Rick was down, eyes closed and out cold, limp, being held up by only Negan’s hand.

Negan let go, letting Rick fall to the floor like a piece of trash. He closed his eyes and sighed, suddenly exhausted. This is why he had to keep his personal business to himself. It took so much out of him to think about her. He resisted the urge to raise his bat over his head and slam it down into the unconscious body at his feet. Instead, he opened his eyes and looked towards Ezekiel.

“She really wasn’t in there then?” He asked, nodding towards the closet. Ezekiel shook his head.

“Negan...” Carl looked at him and shook his head. “He doesn’t mean any of it,” he said, getting down on his knees and resting his head in Rick’s lap. “He’s just sick,” Carl told himself out loud, petting his hair out if his face to get a better look at him. Rick looked more at peace when he was sleeping. Carl clearly loved him, or maybe, and most likely, it was stockholm syndrome.

“He really fucked you up kid,” Ezekiel said shaking his head.

“Everyone just go!” Carl said. “Except you.” He looked up at Negan. “You stay.”

Suddenly, Maggie’s voice came excitedly into Ezekiel’s ear through his walkie. He smiled, ecstatic. “They found the girl!” he announced. “She’s in the black box, and she’s safe.” He smiled.

“I knew he wouldn’t hurt her,” Carl said and leaned down to kiss Rick’s forehead.

“Ezekiel, go. Take your men and get Judith.” Negan waved them away, watching Carl with a look of poorly concealed disgust on his face.

“Hey, Carl, I think we need those keys,” Ezekiel said. Carl wasted no time in tossing them to him. Soon, all the people left, storming off to get Judith from Maggie. 

“Carl, get up. Get away from him. Come on.” Negan sighed, swinging Lucille up and resting her in his shoulder. “I don’t care if he’s sick, Carl, his actions are inexcusable.”

Carl looked up at Negan, tears in his eyes. “He’s my dad, Negan. I don’t want him dead,” he said, petting the man’s hair. “He wasn’t always bad. He used to be normal.” He sniffled. 

Negan scoffed and shook his head. “You know, I tried to keep Lucille out of this, but I just…” He looked away, staring at the wall. His heart hurt and a lot of the fight had been drained from him, his adrenaline fading. “What do you want from me, Carl?”

“I need you to find peace,” Carl whispered. “That’s the only way you’ll be able to live with yourself.”

Negan grit his teeth, still staring at the wall. He could not look at Carl all over that man. “I found my peace, Carl. Two years ago when I put my wife in the ground. I didn’t exact revenge when she came back to me, and I didn’t exact revenge when she died. She didn’t want that to eat me up. So, I  _ fucking _ let it go.”

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly through his nose. “Live with myself?” Negan barked a sarcastic laugh. “ _ I’m _ the one who has to change in order to  _ live with myself _ ?” How dare this child pretend he knows him well enough to try and give Negan life advice. Negan had been living with himself perfectly fine until Carl showed up. He groaned and sat in Rick’s chair, holding his head. “Fuck you, Carl. You don’t know me.”

He finally looked up at the boy, glare on his face. “Who cares if he’s your dad? He’s a monster. Just because you’re blood related doesn’t mean shit. Family isn’t who you’re related to. It’s who you love and cherish and would do anything for and who would  _ never _ hurt you. If you can’t see that, you really are brainwashed.”

“Fuck you, you fucking cunt!” Carl glared at him. “He loves me and he just fucking did what he had to. I know that he’s more of a monster then you will ever know! He made me fucking kill my own fucking mother! He made me help fucking remove your wife’s parts. He took out my fucking eye! Don’t fucking tell me I don’t fucking know, you fucking bastard!”

“He does  _ not _ love you, Carl!” Negan yelled back. “He’s been using you just like he uses everyone! You’re just another fucking pawn in his sadistic little game! ‘Did what he had to’? Did he  _ have _ to kill and torture those people, Carl? Did he  _ have _ to take out your eye? I don’t fucking think so. I think he  _ wanted _ to, and so he  _ did _ .” God, there was no way he was going to convince Carl that his father was an evil beast. The kid was too tied up in him.

“I think  _ you _ need to find your peace, Carl,” Negan said, lowering his volume. “Remember your dad as the nice man you say he used to be. Forget  _ this _ .” He gestured to Rick on the ground.

Carl looked down at him and began crying. “Shut up,” he said holding Rick. “Shut up! He’s my dad he does love me. He was toughening me up,” he said trying to convince himself more than anything. “Please, can we- can we just drop it?”

“Fine,” Negan scoffed.

Carl slowly got to his feet looking down at Rick. He suddenly started to kick the man as hard as he could in the ribs. “Fuck you! You were suppose to love me!” he screamed at unconscious Rick. Either the boy was really bipolar or Negan struck a chord. Negan watched Carl kick at his downed father. He debated about stopping him, but honestly, it was probably really cathartic for Carl. And... Negan just liked seeing Rick get kicked.

Carl moved to the mans crotch, even slamming his foot down and stepping on him for a few times before he wore himself down and his anger simmered out. Negan’s eyebrows raised at Carl’s actions. He covered the small smirk that curled onto his face with his free hand.

“Let’s go,” Carl mumbled. “I need to see Judith.” Negan nodded and stood, stepping over Rick’s body to stand by Carl. He’d love to be there when Rick woke up in pain, but he also wanted to hurry up and get out of this damn place.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie tries to free Judith and her team finds something interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a roleplay written by myself and matthew-the-neko-boy on tumblr.
> 
> In this chapter, I'm Maggie and her team, and Matt is Judith and Ezekiel.
> 
> Enjoy!

Judith was freaked out by how excited Maggie was to find her. She started to panic and she pulled and jerked her little arms trying to get out of the cuffs to get away from Maggie. 

She shushed Judith softly, holding her hands up in an ‘I surrender’ pose. “Hey, hey Judith, shh. It’s ok. We’re going to get you to your brother. We’re going to get you to Carl,” she spoke in a gentle voice. She was trying to come off as non-threatening, but there wasn’t much else she could do. She wished she had some food or water on her. “Your brother has been fighting very hard to get you back, Judith. You’ll see him very soon.” At least she hoped so.

Behind her, the team searched through the tapes looking for the names they had been told and putting them into a bag. One man noticed a couple tapes that caught his attention but weren’t on the list. Grabbing them, he brought them to Maggie. “M’am, Negan’s wife’s name was Lucille, right?”

“Yes, why?” she asked, taking the tapes. One was marked “Glenn” and the other “Lucille”. She sucked in a sharp breath, the tapes shaking in her hands. She carefully put them into a pocket and thanked the man.

“Bubba?” Judith said when hearing Carl’s name. She wanted him now. “Bubba?” She started looking around trying to find him.

Maggie nodded at Judith. “He’ll be here soon, darling.”

One of her men came over and handed her the bag full of the tapes they had found. “We got all the ones on the list. What should we do with the rest?” Maggie turned and looked at the pile of tapes still on the floor. All those people. All those lives. Her eyes burned with unshed tears just looking at them.

“Burn them.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” they said, beginning to gather the tapes.

“Judith, can I sing you a song? I don’t know the words but I know the melody.” She hummed it to her baby every night, so she figured Judith might enjoy it too. She hummed the tune softly. The melancholy but beautiful notes hung in the air.

Judith slowly relaxed, well, tired herself out more than anything. She was exhausted. 

Maggie worried her bottom lip. Where were Ezekiel and Negan and Carl? She watched her people gathering the tapes and called out, asking if anyone had any food or water on them. One handed her a water bottle. She turned back to Judith, twisting the cap off. “Judith, are you thirsty? Do you want some water?” She held it up to the girl’s face a couple inches away, but within reach for her to lean forward and drink if she wished. Maggie was afraid to get too close less she scare her again.

Judith looked at the water bottle. “Click?” she asked wanting to know if she heard the click of a new bottle being opened. Carl told her never drink unless you hear the click, but she was too thirsty. She leaned in and started to sip desperately. She hadn’t any water or food for two days.

Maggie tilted the bottle for her to drink. “Slowly now. Not too fast. You’ll get the hiccups.” Maggie was so worried she’d have to adhere to the promise she made Carl and take in this little girl the longer it took for them to arrive. Not that she was worried she wouldn’t be able to take care of her, but she was worried about her having to tell her bad news about her brother. She sighed and continued to help her drink.

Judith stopped drinking after a long moment, panting a little, her little chest rising and falling as she pulled away from the drinking. 

“Maggie!” Ezekiel called making his way triumphantly up the stairs.

Maggie could have cried when she heard her name called out in that deep, familiar voice. “Zeke! Oh, thank god!”

“I have the keys, where’s the-.” He saw the little girl on the floor and made his way over to the two of them. He handed Maggie the keys. She took them and started fumbling through them, trying each one in the locks.

“Hello, little one.” Ezekiel got down. “My name is King Ezekiel.” He smiled crouching down a few feet away from her.

“Where’s Negan? Carl?” Maggie looked up at Ezekiel and mouthed the word ‘Rick?’.

“They should be down soon enough. ‘He’ is out cold so he’s no longer a problem.” Ezekiel explained.

Soon, Maggie got to the right key and the cuffs fell off Judith’s hands and she looked down at her bruised little wrists and her white and clammy hands. She reached up and started rubbing her nose whimpering as the two adults spoke.

Maggie set the bottle of water down in front of Judith so that she could grab it whenever she wanted it. She looked at Ezekiel. “Ok, good. I’m glad to hear they’re ok. I’m glad you’re ok.” She put her hand on his arm and gave him a thankful smile. “Do you have any food on you?”

“Yeah, I think I have some chex mix,” Ezekiel said, digging through one of his bags. He pulled out a small bag of chex mix and handed it over to Judith. She opened it and began stuffing her face. She looked too thin, not as thin as Carl was, but she couldn’t be over twenty-five pounds.

“Are there any tapes you want, Zeke?” Maggie asked, watching Judith eat. “We haven’t burned them yet. You could go through them if you’d like.” She motioned with her head back to her people who were trying to figure out the best way to destroy the tapes.

“No, thank you, Maggie. I’ve seen enough for a lifetime. I’m at peace,” Ezekiel said reassuringly.

Suddenly, the door to the black box burst open.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunited at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a roleplay written by myself and matthew-the-neko-boy on tumblr.
> 
> In this chapter, I'm Negan and Maggie, and Matt is Carl, Judith, and Ezekiel.
> 
> Ah, together at last! Thank you for all the wonderful comments! I'm glad everyone is liking everything so far. We've made it past the brunt of the gross stuff for now, but keep an eye on the tags and the warnings that I put in these notes just in case. Enjoy~

“Come on. Pick him up with me. We need to get him out of here and into a cell or something. Do you have cuffs on you?” Carl asked, trying to grab Rick by his armpits, pulling him as much as he could to the door… which wasn’t much, seeing as Rick was literally double Carl’s own weight and mass.

“Yeah,” Negan said, pulling the cuffs out of one of the pockets on his vest. He motioned for Carl to step back and he pulled Rick’s arms behind his back and cuffed his wrists together, being none to kind about it. “Here, hold Lucille,” Negan said, handing his bat to Carl. With both hands free, he reached down and, with a grunt of effort, hoisted the unconscious man up and over his shoulder like he was a sack of potatoes. “Alright. Lead the way. And be careful with her.”

Carl was shocked by Negan handing over the bat but he was even more shocked by Negan picking up Rick so easily. “Can I ask why you named your bat Lucille?” he said, walking back to the hallway and towards the black box slowly.

Negan grunted, shifting Rick on his shoulder. This wasn’t as easy as it looked. “It started as kinda a joke while she was alive, but now whenever I hold that bat, I can feel Lucille helping me swing it.”

“I see… Hey, wanna look for Lucille's necklace? I know dad took it,” he said looking at all the frames on the walls. Negan looked too and wondered about the one Carl had smashed earlier. He also wondered why Rick didn’t seem to have more guards on this level. Capturing him was almost  _ too  _ easy. A feeling of unease roiled in Negan’s stomach and he shifted Rick on his shoulder again.

Negan stopped in front of the case on the wall that held a familiar necklace Negan hadn't seen in years. The red teardrop shaped jewel shining back at him was like a long lost friend.  _ So, that’s where it’s been this whole time. _

“Yeah, grab it for me, kid. My hands are kinda full.”

Carl nodded and used the butt of his gun to break the case. The glass shattered and fell to the floor. He reached in, grabbed the necklace, and put it next to the baggie in his pocket.

They soon got to the auditorium, Carl leading the way through a pair of double doors and not the small one Maggie had gone through earlier. On the stage, the woman and the man who had been all cut up were still there with mercy bullets through their heads. There were a few men trying to pry open the burning red hot cage the child was in. The boy didn’t even seem to notice. Just stared into space, rocking softly. 

Carl ignored all of that and went upstairs to the black box to find Judith, slamming the door open. He rushed past Ezekiel, nearly knocking the man over, as he scooped her up and squeezed her to him. “I’m here, baby,” he said to her, kissing all over her face. She squealed and giggled, bouncing and babbling wordless excitement as she was held by her older brother.

Negan dumped Rick on the stage, avoiding looking at the cut up woman next to him. “He shouldn’t, but if he starts to wake up, hit him with a tranquilizer,” he said to the men who were standing around and looking like they were trying their hardest not to throw up. “Got it?” They nodded hurriedly and Negan made his way to the black box. 

He smiled seeing Carl holding his sister when he walked in. He was so glad she was safe and back in her brother’s arms where she belonged.

Maggie came up to him and handed him his bat. “Carl dropped this?” Negan chuckled and took Lucille. He’d forgive Carl for dropping her. He understood.

“Did you find the tapes?” he asked. Maggie nodded and showed him the bag of Carl’s requested and the box of the rest.

“Can we burn the extras once we get outside? I can’t stand having such vile things exist.”

“Of course,” Negan said. He walked slowly up to Carl and Judith with curiosity in his eyes and cleared his throat. “Well, Carl. Aren’t you gonna introduce me?”

Carl was smiling so wide when he turned around to see the man. “Oh yeah, sorry, Negan.” He giggled happily. The little girl in his arms squealed smiling happily at the man’s face and made grabby hands to him. She really liked him for some reason. “Judy, this is Negan. We’re gonna live with him for now. Can you say Negan for me?” he asked.

“Bubba!” She turned to Carl, pressing her face into his neck while grabbing his pulled back hair, tugging on it.

“Ow! Judy. Judith! Judith, let go of my hair!” He really sounded his age when he said that. Judith continued to laugh happily as Carl struggled. Carl hadn’t noticed the bruises on her wrists yet, but even if he did he really couldn’t do anything about it.

Negan laughed at Carl getting his hair pulled and handed Maggie Lucille again. He put his hands out towards Judith. “Hey, Judy. You want me to hold you? Can Negan hold ya? Huh?” His voice had a childish canter to it as he smiled wide and reached for her. He was actually asking Carl more than he was asking Judith. Maggie smiled off to the side. Negan had really wanted kids, and she knew Judith would be well taken care of living with him.

Carl instinctively stepped away. It wasn’t because of him, it was because he was scared. He was conditioned to think she would be hurt if taken away. Judith squealed and reached back out to him, letting go of Carl’s hair wanting to be held by the older man instead. Carl saw this and, with a small smile, handed the girl over to him. She giggled and pawed at his jacket when she got to him. 

Ezekiel looked at the three with a smile. He was glad they saved the little girl. She looked so happy and he was glad to save that spark before she was spoiled by Rick more than she already was.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to get Daryl and get out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a roleplay written by me and Matthew-the-neko-boy on tumblr. 
> 
> In this chapter, I’m Negan and Maggie, and Matt is Carl, Judith, and Daryl.
> 
> Part one is almost done, but part two will be up within a day or two after! Maybe I’ll post the last chapter of part one and the first of part two on the same day hmm..

Negan could almost cry at the reaction he got from Judith. He didn’t know what about him made the little girl like him, but he was glad she did. He held her securely and bounced her lightly. “Hey, girlie. You’re a cute one. Can you say Negan? Hmm?” Having Judith in his arms was kickstarting so many parental senses in him. If Judith was ever in trouble, he’d kill everyone in the room and then himself just to save her. He swayed softly back and forth. She was beautiful.

Judith giggled happily, although she completely ignored him verbally. She really only listened to Carl and even then she only knew a few things. She was at least a year in a half behind in a half behind with communication skills. 

Maggie moved to Carl while his hands were free and held out the bag of the tapes to him. “Here’s the tapes with the people you asked about. You’re… not going to watch them, are you?” she asked, cocking her head to the side. She had been wondering what exactly he had wanted them for.

“Oh, thanks,” he said and slung the bag over his shoulder. “Yeah I- uh… I wanna watch them. I don’t remember a lot, and I have no idea what all my friends and family went through. I wanna see them, and I wanna maybe relive some of it. Make it stick that my dad’s a bad guy,” he said, sighing. Maggie frowned but nodded, not sure she liked the idea, but not going to stop him.

“Oh shit! The fucking cells!” Carl suddenly remembered. “We gotta go down there!”

Negan hummed, still swaying with Judith in his arms. He reached up and booped her on the nose, smiling. “Do you want us to take Judith down there? Cause, she might object if we try to take her away from you now,” he said.

“What’s in the cells?” Maggie asked. “Are we rescuing some more people?” She wasn’t objecting to the idea, but since they had found Judith and the tapes, she thought they were done. Her adrenaline had run down and she just wanted to go home, but she would push on because that’s what she had to do.

“You guys can go home, but I need to get Daryl,” Carl said to Maggie, going over to Judith kissing her forehead.

“We’ll come with you. We’re here till the end,” Maggie said, her people ready to go behind her.

“Daaarrrryl?” Carl said in a funny kinda way to Judith, and she clapped her hands, happily nodding. “Yeah she wants to come,” he said, smiling. Negan smiled at Judith’s reactions. Oh yeah. He was gonna love her.

“Come with?” Carl said to Negan, although he didn’t give him time to respond before turning and walking, knowing he’d follow behind. “Then we can be done.” He walked down the steps. He would thank everyone when everyone he cared about was safe.

Negan followed Carl out of the black box, Maggie on his trail. When they were at the stage, he tried to position Judith away from it. “Carl, what about your dad? Are we locking him up here or at my place?” He motioned with his head back at Rick’s still unconscious body on the stage. Maggie’s men had finally gotten the little boy out of the cage, but as soon as someone touched him he began screaming his head off. 

“We’ll lock dad up at your place. Also Maggie, I think you should stay here. The cells are calm. No one will be there who’s a threat, but I think they need help with that little boy,” Carl said before trotting out into the hallway going to the cells. 

Maggie nodded and went to help with the boy. Gina was there too trying to help and calling for cool rags to put on him. The boy continued to cry because his body hurt so bad. His feet and bottom had third degree burns, and he couldn’t handle it now that he wasn’t disassociating.

Maggie still had Lucille, but Carl had said it’d be safe, so Negan didn’t worry about it. He’d get her back soon enough.

“Owie,” Judith whimpered as she was bounced a little too hard on Negan’s hip. Her skirt was riding up and her little thighs were bruised and red.

Negan repositioned Judith so that she was cradled in his arms. He smoothed her clothes down and held her close. “Shh, it’s alright, girlie.”

He looked to Ezekiel and said, “Get that bastard in a truck,” motioning to Rick, before following Carl into the hallway.

…

“So, who’s Daryl anyway? Why is he so special?” Negan asked as they walked.

“He’s family,” Carl said and ran down the stairs excitedly. There was a line of grimey cells with steel doors. “Daryl’s room is 120.”

They reached the cell quickly, and Carl undid the latch on the outside of the door. The room reeked of dog food and other unpleasant smells. A naked man sat in the corner of the room and looked up when he saw the door open. He gasped and shot up, grabbing the boy tightly, squeezing him. 

“Kid, thank god!” He nearly spun around, lifting the boy of the ground. He looked up and saw Negan with Judith, but he acted on instinct and pushed Carl roughly behind him.

“Who the hell are you?” Daryl asked Negan, glaring at the man. It was a pretty even match, both men around the same size although Daryl was naked and was covered in filth.

Negan snorted a laugh back at the filthy man in front of him, rocking Judith softly in his arms. “Hi, I’m Negan. I’m your knight in shining armor.” He rolled his eyes. Like Negan even looked like a threat right now, holding Judith and accompanying Carl. Negan understood Daryl’s reaction, sure, but put two and two together, man. “Come on, let’s go. This place is really getting on my nerves.” He cocked his head back the way they’d come and started down the hall.

Daryl watched him walk with Judith for a little before grabbing Carl’s bicep, pulling him even closer. “He put his hands on you? The fuck is that on your neck boy?” he asked, clinging to him. 

“I’m fine, Daryl. It’s fine. Lets go,” Carl said scampering after Negan, not wanting to be too far from Judith. “I’ll explain everything when we’re alone.”

As they walked, Negan spoke softly to Judith. “...And I’ll let you pick which room you want, and we can even repaint it if you want. And I’m going to get you a good education. Top-notch teachers. You can have anything you want to eat and anything you want to play with is yours. Oh my god, I’m going to buy you SO many toys. Your brother found you some kittens to play with too. He loves you a whole lot, but I think you know that already.” Negan was so ready to spoil Judith, he was practically vibrating.

Carl quickly followed behind the two like a lost dog that found its owner. He wasn’t getting separated from them again. Carl smiled at what he was saying. He was so happy for her. Now, he knew he was doing the right thing. She was going to have a great life. 

Daryl stalked behind them, much like a wolf watching it’s pack. Daryl was rough with Carl, but he loved the kid more than he’d know. He only wanted the best for him and the girl. He didn’t trust this guy yet, but there wasn’t much worse than Rick. 

They made their way through the empty halls, heading back through the worker’s room to get to the trucks. The dead bodies had been left, but Negan assumed the survivors had been collected up and were either going to him, Ezekiel, or Maggie. Negan made note of who of his men were left laying on the floor. He’d send a team to retrieve their bodies and contact their families once he got back to his place.

Once they were outside, Negan blinked in the bright sunlight, shielding Judith’s eyes with his hand as best he could while holding her. “You’re gonna be just fine, Judy. Just fine.”

Judith looked back at Carl when her eyes were shielded from the sun. “Bubba!” She said and Carl came close.

“What is it Judy?” He smiled at her.

She reached over and fingered harshly at his eye socket. “Out!” she said, and Carl jumped back and looked like he was going to vomit.

Negan sucked in a breath, watching Carl carefully. “Kid, Carl, are you ok?” Negan gently took Judith’s hand and brought it back to her chest. He knew she didn’t mean anything by it, she didn’t know what she was doing, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t affect Carl negatively.

Negan turned to Daryl and held Judith out to him. “Take her for a second, would ya?” Daryl took the girl quickly. He bounced her and walked a few feet away to give the boy space. Once the other man had Judith, Negan knelt on one knee next to Carl, hovering his hands around him, unsure if he should touch him or not. Carl had gone pale and Negan didn’t want to watch him throw up for the second time. “Hey, breathe. Just breathe.”

“She tried to poke out my eye. This is why I fucking wear a bandage!” Carl pushed Negan’s chest. He didn’t move the man but he wish he could. “This is your fault! Now she knows!” He didn’t realize Rick had been showing her a video on loop of his eye getting ripped out since Maggie hadn’t told him.

“Hey, hey, woah!” Negan threw his hands up in an ‘I surrender’ pose. “First of all, she’s a child. She didn’t know what she was doing. Did you think she’d never find out? Never get curious about what was under that bandage?

Second of all,” Negan quickly grabbed Carl’s hands. Carl’s left hand went to Negan’s right shoulder and, mostly due to the element of surprise, Negan got Carl to bend his right arm, which was placed across Negan’s chest, under his neck. “If you’re gonna push me, fucking push me. Lean your weight into your arm, not your hand. Come on.” Negan felt bad. He  _ had _ been the one to encourage Carl not to wear the bandage. If pushing him, or maybe punching him, helped Carl feel better, then he’d take it.

“No, she’s just too young to know! I didn’t want her to think I looked like a monster,” Carl barked back before fidgeting in the weird position the man put him in. Why the hell was he teaching him how to hurt him? He blushed a little as he was only inches from the man's own face.

“You don’t look like a monster,” Negan said, shaking his head. “And she’s your sister, she wouldn’t be scared of you anyway.” He cocked his head to the side, making sure his nose didn’t hit Carl’s. “Now, come on. Push me. Or punch me. Do something!”

Carl just looked at Negan. “A-Are you for real? Is this some sort of trap? I don’t wanna hurt you,” he said even though he did want to hurt him. Not because he did anything wrong, but because he was fucking angry and upset at this shitty situation. And honestly, he was a little jealous of all the things Negan said to Judith. He knew he should be happy for her, and he was, but he wanted those things too since he didn’t get any of that and probably wouldn’t for a bit longer.

Negan threw his arms out to the side. “I’m on my knees, kid. How could this be a trap? If you’re not gonna do anything then let’s just get going. We’ve got a lot to sort out back at home.” Negan stayed down for a moment longer, just incase Carl changed his mind.

…

Maggie and everyone else had finished packing into the trucks, but she couldn’t leave without Negan. It didn’t seem right. She hopped back out of her truck and looked towards the entrance they had broken into. Gasping at the sight of Negan and Carl and assumably the man they went to go get, she made her way over. She could tell Negan and Carl were in the middle of… something, so she went to the man holding Judith instead, unphased by his rough state. “Hello, I’m Maggie. You must be… Daryl, right? What, uh, what is going on here?” She pointed towards the other two.

Daryl held Judith closer. “Oh, um, the little ass kicker grabbed, um, the kid’s eye socket and freaked him out,” he explained, bouncing Judith. “She’s never done that before.”

Maggie’s hand flew to her mouth. “Oh my god, I wonder…” She looked back at Carl and then back at Daryl. “When we found her she was watching a video of him,” she pointed to Carl, not wanting to say his name in front of Judith, “getting his eye taken out. It was on loop. I don’t know how many times she saw it.” She worried at her bottom lip. “Do you think that could be it?”

“Fuck, that’s what it is. Rick likes to tape shit. Likes to watch them with Carl sometimes. Didn’t think Judith was apart of that too,” he said leaning down kissing the girl’s head. “Yeah, so you know where I could get some clothes?” he asked, still awkwardly naked.

“Oh!” Maggie felt a blush spread over her face. She hadn’t really been affected by Daryl’s nudity, but she quickly pointed towards Negan’s truck and told him to go ahead and go there. She didn’t know of any extra clothes anywhere, but it was only a short ride.

She stepped closer to Carl and Negan. “Hey, boys. Can we wrap this up?” she called out, crossing her arms and shifting her weight to one hip. She didn’t know how Negan got involved in the situation after learning what she did from Daryl, but she really wanted to get home.

Without another thought, Carl closed his fist and slammed it as hard as he could into Negan’s hard jawline. If he went any harder the man’s jaw could have broken and broken his own fingers. 

Negan grunted at the hit, his head whipping to the side. Fuck, that kid had an arm on him. He rubbed at his jaw, opening his mouth and moving it around. Oh yeah, that would bruise. Carl just looked at him panting before looking over at Maggie, who had her hand over her mouth in shock, and Daryl, who was giving him a warning look. He thought the kid knew better then to hit someone three times his size, not hearing what Negan had said prior to it.

Carl quickly popped up and reached out his hand to Negan to take to help him get up. He couldn’t believe that he just hit Negan of all people. The man that was helping him. He sighed. Even if it came back to bite him in the ass later, it did feel good.

Negan looked up at Carl for a moment before breaking out into a grin and a deep laugh, throwing his head back. “Now,  _ that’s _ what I’m talking about!” He took Carl’s offered hand and pulled himself up. He playfully ruffled Carl’s hair. “Good on you, kid. That was a nice solid hit. Felt good, I bet?” He smirked at Carl. He could feel his jaw already puffing up slightly.

Carl smiled happily when his hair was ruffled by the man. He loved this.  He felt to happy and content. He nodded to the mans statement. It felt better then good it felt great. 

“Alright, come on. Everyone to the trucks. Let’s get out of here!” Negan called out, walking with Carl towards Daryl.

Maggie was so confused, but she just accepted it as one of Negan’s quirks and headed back to her truck. As she got in and clicked her seatbelt on, she felt something in her pocket. She gasped. She still had Lucille’s and Glenn’s tapes. She needed to remember to give that to Negan when they got back.

Carl took Judith from Daryl’s arms and walked with her to the armored trucks where he got in with her. Daryl got in with him and grabbed a bullet proof vest from off the wall and put it over his lap so his penis wasn’t just out there. Negan climbed in next to Carl, closing the door behind him. He was informed that Rick was in another truck, still passed out, by one of the others riding with them. Gina waved at Carl from her spot and cooed at Judith. “Alright, let’s roll out!” Negan said, the driver giving them a thumbs up and starting up the engine. The truck jerked slightly as it started rolling.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to head home and see what the future brings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a roleplay written by me and Matthew-the-neko-boy on tumblr.
> 
> In this chapter, I’m Negan and Gina, and Matt is Carl, Judith, and Daryl.
> 
> This is the last chapter of Part 1! Part 2 will be up very very soon, so stick around cause we are not even halfway done with this story!

“Sir,” Gina held Lucille out to him. “Maggie dropped this off earlier.”

Negan grinned and took his bat. It was nice having her back in his hand. He looked to Carl and Judith and Daryl. “Well, I’d say that was pretty successful, yeah?” He reached over and held his hand out to Judith, palm up, trying to see if she’d let him hold her hand. He glanced a look back at Gina. “What happened with that boy that was in the cage?”

“He’s with Maggie now. He needs medical attention for the burns, but he’ll survive.” She nodded solemnly. 

Carl smiled softly at the two of them, both Gina and Negan. He was happy to see Gina was okay.  “Say hi, Judy,” he said and bounced her a little to get her attention. 

The small girl didn’t say hi verbally but she did wave in Gina’s general direction. She looked normal sized sitting on Carl’s lap but the two of them were small considering Carl is almost legally an adult.

Gina squealed when Judith waved at her and she leaned across the aisle to talk to her. She went on and on about her son and how the two of them would be best friends, and how Judith could come over anytime, etc. Negan smiled, glad that others were as captivated with Judith as he was.

Daryl looked at everyone, scouting them out. He would tell Carl what the girl saw when they were alone again.

Negan gently put his hand on Carl’s shoulder to get his attention, smiling at him. “You did real good, Carl. I’m proud of you,” he said, loud enough for Carl to hear him, but soft enough that it wasn’t broadcasted over Gina’s rambling to Judith. He lightly squeezed his shoulder.

Carl looked at the hand on his shoulder and smiled, happy to feel the mans contact. He looked up at him, listening to the mans words smiling. Jesus, did he love being praised.

“Thank you, Negan,” he said and held Judith’s waist in his hands as the toddler turned and began hitting the older man’s thigh, wanting his attention just like Carl did, but in a less subtle manner.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Negan laughed and caught Judith’s hand that was hitting him with his hand that wasn’t on Carl’s shoulder. He let  _ that _ one move to the top of Carl’s back, right behind his neck. Just to sit there. Just so he could feel the boy beneath his hand.

Carl did his best not to lean into the man and keen at his touch. He loved it. It was a bit strange his position of his hand, it was in the same position as his father always touched. It was the same spot you’d grab and touch if you wanted to scruff a puppy. 

Negan rubbed his thumb softly over the back of Judith’s small hand. “What? What do you want?” He smiled. Every time he talked to Judith, Negan’s voice took on a childish canter. Not full baby talk, and not like he was talking to a pet, but definitely something lighter than his usual tone. It made his people in the truck all smile at the scene. They were glad he was happy.

Judith smiled when Negan held her hand. She giggled and bounced happily. Her hands looked so little in his. She loved just holding his rough hand in both of hers. She looked up at him smiling before looking up at Carl.

Negan stuck his tongue out at Judith as he bounced her hands up and down. “You’re gonna have to talk to me at some point, girlie. Learn my name. Negan. Can you say Neeegaaan?”

Daryl took note of how the man touched the two children, trying to keep calm, his eyes still flicking over everyone. He took Carl’s waist and forced him down towards him so he could be quiet with him. “She watched your eye tape,” he said loud enough that Carl could hear him, and maybe Negan, but no one else.

Negan glanced up but didn’t move to pull Carl back, keeping his focus on Judith. He caught Daryl’s quiet words but pretended not to. He licked at the inside of his mouth along the side that Carl had punched. It hurt, but not too bad. Well, if he didn’t deserve the hit for that reason, he was sure he deserved it for something.

Carl looked down, keeping his cool as he nodded and slowly scooted the few inches back to Negan, he wanted to feel the hard pressure or even just the weight of the man’s hand on him. It calmed him for some reason. 

Carl looked up at Negan and laughed a little. “Well, she can’t even say Carl or brother, so I don’t know how she’s gonna say Negan,” he said, looking down at her. 

“Say Carl,” he said to her. “What’s my name?”

She just looked at him smiling. “Bubba.”

Negan laughed at that. “Well, she’ll learn. I’ll get some speech specialists first thing,” Negan said, nodding. He looked back at Carl, replacing his hand that had fallen when Daryl pulled him away. “And like I said before, if you want to learn anything new, I can get that for you too. Just ask.”

The truck bounced slightly as it continued down the road. “About ten more minutes and then we’ll be home!” the driver announced.

Carl smiled excited. “Yeah, I’m excited to be back,” he said to Negan while he played with Judith’s blonde locks. “Can we eat lunch or something when we get back?”

Judith almost collapsed in Carl’s arms, falling asleep much like toddlers do. They’re super pumped and energetic, and then they just crash and fall asleep like it’s nothing.

“Of course,” Negan said. He smiled down at Judith as she fell asleep on her brother. He felt his chest warm and he sighed contently. He took stock of the people in his truck. They were battered, but ok. He felt a little sore himself, and not just his jaw, but some food and rest would do them all some good. He rubbed his thumb over the back of Carl’s neck and he settled back into his seat.

Their mission was over for now. Bad guy captured. Princess rescued. New problems were sure to surface, but for now… they could relax and breathe. Just breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me or Matt on tumblr! I'm [Ranebowstitches](https://ranebowstitches.tumblr.com/) and he's [Matthew-the-neko-boy](https://matthew-the-neko-boy.tumblr.com/). We love to chat :3


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